dads g/f wont give us his stuff

d123

ForDad wrote: »

yes im angry at them. i had my son at 15 and i asked my dad to take him not her and then he said i couldnt see him whenever i wanted he was my son why should i make an appointment. dad got me a council house after i had my daughter so i could have them both back but they expected me to take them back as soon as i moved in which was hard. they set me up to fail with social services and its their fault i had them took of me.

I am absolutely astounded, you know, you are doing the impossible. You are making all the people on shows like Jeremy Kyle and Jerry Springer look normal.

chickadee

ForDad wrote: »

yes im angry at them. i had my son at 15 and i asked my dad to take him not her and then he said i couldnt see him whenever i wanted he was my son why should i make an appointment. dad got me a council house after i had my daughter so i could have them both back but they expected me to take them back as soon as i moved in which was hard. they set me up to fail with social services and its their fault i had them took of me.

I don't know why I am bothering to post but I have been drawn into this thread for some inexplicable reason.

ForDad, I can understand that you feel hurt and let down. Perhaps your upbringing was turbulent due to the relationship between your mum and dad. As far as I can see from what you have written, the anger you feel is that you haven't felt supported by your parents and that resentment is now coming out at a very emotional time. Understandable. The trouble is, and I only have the limited facts you have told us, that a) you feel let down that your dad tried to take some control over your son and b) you feel let down that he expected you to care for your children after he got you a house. Think about this. You didn't ask your mum to look after your son did you? Your dad didn't have to take his grandchild in. I don't suppose you contributed to his upkeep did you? Or your mum by the sounds of it?

You went out and made the same mistake again and had a daughter this time. Your dad got you a council house. Did your mum try to do this? Thought not....

Was it unreasonable of your dad to expect that once you had a house you would take responsibility for your two children? I don't think so. You would have needed support of course. Perhaps that is why he involved social services. Did you expect your dad to look after both of your kids whilst you got yourself settled in?

Take a reality check and start taking responsibility for your own life and circumstances. I'm sorry, you may be 23 but you have a lot of growing up to do. Sadly, I suspect that you will continue to blame others for your own mistakes and will never truly grow up. I feel very sorry for you.

Peakma

Chollita wrote: »

So first you complain that they deny you access to your son, then that they expect you to look after your own children? Which is it? What would make you happy? Oh, yes - the money.

Hmmmm ... maybe there should be a maturity test before people can breed.

Or maybe this is a researcher for the Jeremy Kyle show ...

Like I said in post "19" maybe it actually is Jeremy Kyle!
This whole threads got to be a wind up,surely there can not actually be someone who would think all this is o.k.

zoelouise88

how on earth is it there fault that youve had your children taken away? you had the kids you should have looked after them.

i am only 20 years old had my son when i had just turned 18 also i was kicked out at the age of 16 and living from place to place until i had my son, so obviously have had my falling outs with my parents but if either of them died i would not think about the arguments etc i would think about the positive times and i certainly would not be bothered about the will.

you sound like a right cow who only cares for yourself.

paddy's_mum

I have read through this thread with growing disbelief and revulsion. Some of ForDad's comments are, quite simply, sick and sickening. ForDad's own words and the dreadful impression they give of her as a person make the best advert for contraception that I have ever come across!

floss2

paddy's_mum wrote: »

..... ForDad's own words and the dreadful impression they give of her as a person make the best advert for contraception that I have ever come across!

Hear hear. Well said Paddy's mum.

bravobeastie

ForDad wrote: »

yes im angry at them. i had my son at 15 and i asked my dad to take him not her and then he said i couldnt see him whenever i wanted he was my son why should i make an appointment. dad got me a council house after i had my daughter so i could have them both back but they expected me to take them back as soon as i moved in which was hard. they set me up to fail with social services and its their fault i had them took of me.

I'm sure the conclusion i have come to is the same as everyone else on here....you're a chav.

That aside, why did your dad have to take your son in the first place? Why wasn't your mum there to support you? Why did you go on to have a second child when you obviously couldn't look after the one you had? Why did your dad get you a council house? Too much effort for you or your mum to get off your backsides?

I'm guessing they didn't 'set you up to fail' you did that miserably by yourself.

I was left by my partner when i was 6 months pregnant (i was 20) i had to move from the house we were in, back to my mums, pull myself together and realise i wasn't the important one anymore, my daughter was. At 3 months old we moved into our first house, i had no furniture etc but i had to sort all of that out with a baby in tow.

As others have said, grow up, sort yourself out and realise that if you are old enough to open your legs and breed then you're old enough to look after yourself.

Sounds like your dad is well out of it to be honest.

Jo_F

ForDad wrote: »

yes im angry at them. i had my son at 15 and i asked my dad to take him not her and then he said i couldnt see him whenever i wanted he was my son why should i make an appointment. dad got me a council house after i had my daughter so i could have them both back but they expected me to take them back as soon as i moved in which was hard. they set me up to fail with social services and its their fault i had them took of me.

Perhaps you should have kept your legs shut

melancholly

so your dad did everything to help you - looked after your son and helped you get a council house. i assume when you had your daughter you began to slightly realise that babies are hard work and someone dropping in whenever they want to see them interferes with routines, leaving a cranky baby that he would have had to deal with. if you want to see your child whenever you want, don't give them away to someone else to do all the hard parts of parenting.

given that this was 8 years ago, your father's partner also must have looked after your baby too. i am shocked that you have taken all that help for granted and instead have somehow become angry. why on earth is your anger directed at him and not your mother, who you are defending all the way and who in your eyes has more rights than his partner for the last decade?! your father and his partner help you sort out your life, but somehow they are nasty and your mother is a saint?! madness!

paddy's_mum

The very last line of bravobeastie's post, number 118, is the saddest part by far of this whole disgusting, sordid tale and is a view I also share. I would never recover from the wound to my soul if a member of my family should feel like that about my life and eventual death.

ForDad appears to have some extremely strange ideas about how civilised people conduct their lives and relationships. Despite having been advised by a solicitor that she has no case or claim, she continues to harass the "widow", has given forum members the dubious pleasure of listening to her spiteful, grasping and self-important comments, and generally behaved in a totally unloving, selfish, hateful manner.

It is rare for me to feel so angry towards anyone but I would advise ForDad to seek help for what must surely amount to mental illness - this level of greed, hate and poison isn't normal human behaviour, is it?