Money Moral Dilemma: Can you go giftless to a wedding?

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Here's this week's hypothetical situation for you to cogitate on:
It’s wedding season. You’ve been invited to five different weddings over the next two months, each with a long gift list; expecting you to spend £25 - £50 per person. You’re broke, but they’re all good friends of either you or your partner. Should you borrow money to pay for the gifts, not go, or go without buying anything from the gift list? Enter the Money Moral Maze: Can you go giftless to a wedding?
Previous MMDs:
Would you ask for your sponsorship money back?
Should you demand a last-minute property discount?
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Can you go giftless to a wedding?
It’s wedding season. You’ve been invited to five different weddings over the next two months, each with a long gift list; expecting you to spend £25 - £50 per person. You’re broke, but they’re all good friends of either you or your partner. Should you borrow money to pay for the gifts, not go, or go without buying anything from the gift list? Enter the Money Moral Maze: Can you go giftless to a wedding?
Click reply to have your say
Previous MMDs:
Would you ask for your sponsorship money back?
Should you demand a last-minute property discount?
[threadbanner]box[/threadbanner]
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Replies
surely only a cheapskate would give no gift but eat the buffet
You could offer to do something practical towards the wedding arrangements or in helping the couple set up home.
The list is endless...you could help with decorating, diy, gardening. For the actual wedding you could offer to arrange flowers for church or reception, help with making wedding "favours", help with transport, accomodate a guest overnight, make invitations, service sheets, placecards etc. I embroidered a ring pillow for a couple when I found myself in a similar situation.
As these people are such good friends it won't hurt to speak to them, explain your situation (which they'll probably know anyway) and just use a little imagination to buy a long lasting, inexpensive and 'different' gift.
Last time I gave a homemade cross stitched framed sampler, the kit cost around £16 from ebay, but took me nearly a year to complete... For the time it took me, I could have worked some overtime I'd have been able to buy something nice for 5+ weddings much sooner!
Still it looked great and the couple were really pleased to have something with so much thought put in to it.
:beer:
When DH and I got married last year we were delighted to accept help towards wedding rather than gifts, much more useful. Our beautiful wedding cake was made by friends, the table decorations were made by friends and mother-in-law, the pew bows in church were made by friends. All the photography was done by the guests!
It all looked amazing and made the wedding feel very personal and special.
We're actually struggling to find a use for some of the gift vouchers we were given. Don't be afraid to offer your help!
i know wedding lists are full of things newly weds want and need, but something handmade to commemorate the day, like a painting or cross stitch or a decorated photo frame for a small copy of the wedding picture are so much more personal.
and i'm sure that way you will remember who the gift is from rather than thinking "thats a nice cutlery set - who gave us that again?"
Rejuvenate, Reinvent.......
:heart2:Toby born Apr and taken by SMA Dec 2012
:heart2: Baby boy failed M/C @ 20 wks Oct 2013 :heart2: Sienna born Oct 2014
A few friends who I knew to be broke didn't buy presents, I knew the expenses of getting to the wedding inc overnight accomodation was quite enough so a present was not required.