How long to leave it before having children?

Cullumpster

i'm nearly 32 and desperate to have children before i get too old, i started seeing my b/f a year ago and he already has 2 children from a previous marriage.

He said that he never wanted any more children but after seeing me with his children and how i am with them he said that it would be a crime if i didn't have kids as i deserve them

so now we are trying for kids, but i have been on the pill for as long as i can remember and have an awful feeling that it's not going to happen

We're going to give it another 6 months of trying and if nothing has happened by then i'll be off to the doctors to be checked out, i just hope that i haven't left it too late to be able to be a mum, i can't imagine not being one

Quackers

Cullumpster wrote:

He said that he never wanted any more children but after seeing me with his children and how i am with them he said that it would be a crime if i didn't have kids as i deserve them

That is soooo lovely Cullumpster. I hope you'll be posting soon letting us know that you're expecting Just enjoy practising for now - I'm sure it'll happen when the time is right

Callisto

Hi, I'm 26 and think that if I have a child, it will be in my thirties. Getting married in 2007 and then would like to do some travelling. Also currently undecided on career path, so may suddenly decide to enrol at college to retrain or become self employed... just don't feel I have space/time for a child in the next 4 years or so and definitely want to spend some 'married' time with my bloke before we even think about kids...

The money aspect I'm really not bothered about, if we decide to have a baby... we would go ahead regardless of savings/available money. It's more the emotional issues for me and feeling more content and at a place in my life when I've achieved at least a few of my 'personal goals'. Probably selfish, but that's how I feel at the moment... I reserve the right to change my mind at any point in the future

elizafraser

I'm another 'older mum' had mine in mid 30s. Just wasn't 'ready' before this. I remember my mum advising me that you either had your fun in your 20s before you had chidren, or if you had children young, you had fun in your 40s. She opted for fun in her 40s, I preferred to have my fun first. I felt I was better prepared to devote myself to my children then, without feeling I was missing out on life. (By 'fun' mum meant doing what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it, without being tied down and prevented from doing this with young children).

rozeepozee

Matthew2005 wrote:

I would say around the 16th of June 2011.

Men are from Mars?? :rolleyes:

littlelaurakate

I always knew I wanted kids, but never really realised how much until the opportunity was nearly no longer available. This all started last year when I was rushed into hospital with a suspected eptopic pregnancy. Long story. But as it turned out it was actually a huge dermoid cyst on right ovary and followed by an emergency scan and the news that there may be large cysts on the other ovary (left). I had to sign a consent form for them both to be removed in surgery if necessary...it broke my heart and I realised that I wanted children with my partner at that moment. We had talked about it but been putting off due to other commitments and I was devastated that it now may not be possible.

I was so relieved when I came round to discover that I still had my left ovary, I cried buckets. We didn't start trying immediately, my recovery took until around August 2004, since I had the full caesarean cut and was seriously messed with internally. Anyhow, at 29 (partner 34) we thought it was about time...and guess what I found out I was pregnant this week...it's early days, but I'm dead excited!!

I'm not scaremongering or suggesting that everyone should rush into kids in case they have a medical emergency!! That would be ridiculous. I am thankfully in the minority and thank god I'm not without a reproductive system and beating myself up for the next 50+ years that I didn't try when I first thought about kids (about 4 years ago).I just think that if it feels right and if financial and relationship circumstances are right, then maybe that is the right time?

Currently, I just wish I didn't feel SICK!! There's is never a right time for that!! :rotfl:

mummytofour

I became a mummy @19 im now 27 and due to have my 5th child in april, for me if I had waited until I was in my 30s then there is noway I would of been able to fit 5 children in, Im just gald I started young, it was teh right thig for me.
Good luck in whatever u decide.

Vxx

Jo4

littlelaurakate wrote:

Anyhow, at 29 (partner 34) we thought it was about time...and guess what I found out I was pregnant this week...it's early days, but I'm dead excited!!

Currently, I just wish I didn't feel SICK!! There's is never a right time for that!! :rotfl:

CONGRATULATIONS!! Hope things go well for you and your partner!!

Treacle_2-2

Well, I’m almost 36 and I’m still waiting for broodiness to kick in! EVERYONE asks what’s wrong with me!?! Most of my friends are settled down, and very much ‘stuck in a rut’ (their words not mine!). They always ask what I’m up to now, where I’m off to next and they often say make the most of it before kids slow you up! They love to hear about whatever I’ve been doing, then they ask why I don’t worry about being left on the shelf ? and they try setting me up with their ‘stunning friends’ who just don’t float my boat!! I guess I’m fortunate enough to know a couple of guys who would settle down with me but I’m just not interested in them. Friends think I’m mad, yet I’m a single girl and have a great life, very social and just choosy when it comes to fellas! Nothing wrong with that - I can’t see the point in settling down with just whoever – in fact now I’m more choosy than ever – most fellas I know/meet have kids already and pretty much every boyfriend I’ve had came along with kids already so now, I feel I’ve had my fair share of other people’s kids and choose not to go down that route any more. I’m dead happy as I am and have a fun life, if a guy comes along and we both want to commit then hopefully my feelings will change, but he’d better show up flipin’ quick before my chance is gone!!! I’m hoping that broodiness will kick in one day, have always said I’m too young for all that but…. Well, can’t be saying that now! I can’t even think about it if I don’t have a fella to share such a huge commitment and I certainly don’t want a child on my own! So there you have it – that’s me!!

rozeepozee

A journalistic take on the topic. This link from the Guardian refers to a the view of the medical profession

http://www.guardian.co.uk/medicine/story/0,11381,1571409,00.html