MONEY MORAL DILEMMA. Should Howard and Marion replace Richie’s tenner?



  • No way should it be replaced, a child has to learn that care has to be taken with all manner of things through life. If parents replace all they do is make a point, easy come easy go, and not to make that child responsible
  • Jennikay
    Jennikay Posts: 258 Forumite
    I, personally, would lend him the tenner, and make him pay it back with half his pocket money (i.e. if his pocket money was £10, pay back £5/week for 2 weeks.)

    I've been lucky enough to have well-off enough parents to lend me the money if it's important - though at 11, my pocket money was £1.10 (my age x 10p) :p
    And I always paid the money as soon as I had enough.

    If it was my child they wouldn't get £10/week pocket money in the first place!
  • lillandra
    lillandra Posts: 12 Forumite
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    i would replace the money i would not see my child upset for a pathetic ten pounds especially at only eleven years old not to replace it would be completely heartless. but would buy him a wallet first though;)
  • ladycat_2
    ladycat_2 Posts: 12 Forumite
    No, I wouldn't replace the money, losing it would make him look after it more carefully in future.

    I asked my (nearly) 13 year old daughter what she thought. Her first reaction was to say that it wouldn't happen to her as she'd have put it in her purse and zipped it up in her handbag, not left it in a pocket. She also said that he might have spent the money and could just be trying it on. She thought it shouldn't really be replaced as he'd been careless.

    Don't know if this is how most 13 year olds would react though. My daughter has had a cash point card since she turned 12. I pay her allowance (for school lunches, plus pocket money and mobile top up) into her account at the start of each month (£15 a week - £12.50 for lunches and £2.50 spending money - plus £5 mobile top up a month). Then it's up to her when and how much she withdraws each week, so she learns to budget. I don't give her any extra money, so if she spends it all at once, she goes hungry - not that this happens much as she enjoys her food. At first she did buy "rubbish" (magazines and extra sweets) but as time's gone on, she's learnt to look after the money and even manages to save up for bigger items. If she does overspend, she cuts out having a pudding at lunch time or borrows a little from her friends, which she pays back as soon as she can. She also lends her friends money which they also seem to pay back quite promptly.
    It makes her feel quite grown up, the account doesn't cost anything and she can't go overdrawn, so I think it's quite a good way for her to learn how to take care of her money. None of her friends seem to have cash point cards, so maybe not many parents are aware of them.
  • This is a tough one. It would be lovely to just give the £10 again to your son but I have an 11 year old daughter and although I can be a push-over sometimes, tough love is sometimes the only way. At this age, children do need to start to be a little responsible for their own actions. If he wants another £10 let him do some extra little chores and he will soon start looking after his cash!! It isn't cruel, just sensible! They are still children but from hereon, they grow up far too quickly. Whatever you decide, I am sure will be the right decision for how you want to mould your son into the grown up he will soon become. Good luck, I know this age is not an easy one!:rolleyes:
  • I'd let him earn it back. Life is poo sometimes but he's only a kid. He's got the rest of his life to be ripped off or struggle for cash.
  • SilverFox
    SilverFox Posts: 21 Forumite
    I'll go halfway with Jostick;
    Being a bit hard-nosed is one thing, but fining the boy is OTT.

    Money in a jeans back pocket is always dodgey; a single note in there is maybe OK especially if the jeans are tight fitting (do kids wear them tight thesedays?), but a wallet is a definite no-no!
  • donny-gal
    donny-gal Posts: 4,654 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Yes or no is not that clean.

    Does the lad need the £10 for anything? or is it just spare cash? If he needs it he should be able to earn it, if not then it is a very good lesson learnt.

    Member #8 of the SKI-ers Club
    Why is it I have less time now I am retired then when I worked?
  • trejoy
    trejoy Posts: 74 Forumite
    If he uses the money to pay for activities, ie youth club, then I would n`t deprive him of this, however, I would n`t replace sweetie money. I never gave my kids notes as they are easy to lose, give them coins.
    A boy we fostered was given £40 by his father for his 12th Birthday and sent to town on his own! to spend it. He lost it, his dad told him that !. I would be angry with him and 2.I would replace it!, did n,t happen, could n`t` happen, ( had no extra money). They both learnt a lesson as I told off his father for not going with him, the boy got extra hugs and his favourite tea cooked.
    Us Welsh on Saturday -:beer::T:beer::j:j:beer::A
  • JayD
    JayD Posts: 698 Forumite
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Post
    Well he is 11 - which I feel is on the cusp so - assuming I felt confident the money had been genuinely lost and not spent on something he shouldn't have bought, or handed over to bullies - I would compromise and give him a hug and a fiver.

    I would think he had already learnt a lesson about keeping his money safe - we have all experienced that horrible sinking feeling when we can't find the cash we thought we had.

    So a bit of sympathy and a fiver from me.
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