MONEY MORAL DILEMMA. Should Howard and Marion replace Richie’s tenner?

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  • i once had my bag stolen...a guy gave me a tenner for my taxi home.
    another time i was about to get on a bus and realised i only had a twenty... a man gave me the bus fayre.

    life can be harsh at times... but then every so often people do things that can brighten up your day.:j

    and if you cant rely on your parents to help you out, who can you rely on?

    fair enough this is an 11 yr old boy and probably doesnt need the money for anything important. He could be lying, maybe he didnt loose the money at all...:A

    depends which way you look at it :confused:
  • No - Howard and Marion should not replace the £10.00.
    A lesson learned early in life will be remembered and hopefully Richie will be more careful with his money in future.
  • secgirl
    secgirl Posts: 17 Forumite
    meher wrote: »
    ofcourse yes, poor thing - he is grieving for his lost precious £10 and learnt his lesson the moment he lost it and to have to bear with his mother's additional lessons is too much to ask for a 11 year old. I like to believe if you show that you trust your child, s/he'd work on living upto that expectation.

    Sorry could not disagree more.
    1 - He should have been a lot more careful what he did with his tenner. (My 8yr old daughter would know better than to just shove a tenner in a pocket!).

    2 - If he gets bailed out here, what happens when he is older and wants something he can't afford. "Ach no problem, the oldies will bail me out either by buying it or by paying the loan when I can't afford to."

    3 - What exactly does this have to do with trusting your child? He was careless with money not untrustworthy!

    Richie got the tenner, Ritchie lost the tenner, Richie will have to get over it! (And hopefully learn to be a wee bitty more careful in the future.)
  • Lend Richie the £10 - have him repay it at £2 per week.
  • Hestia
    Hestia Posts: 40 Forumite
    If a child of 10 is, in the eyes of the law, old enough to know the difference between wrong and right, then a child of 11 is certainly old enough to learn about the ways of money...the money, in my opinion, should not be replaced!
  • little thing id like to add -

    a lot of people are saying 'if you give him the tenner this time he will always expect you to bail him out...'
    i think this totaly depends on the person- my parents have always helped me out when i need it, especially when i was younger (under 17) eg. giving me lifts to wherever i needed to go, picking me up (sometimes even from drunken nights out), giving me money before i first had a job and sometimes borrowing money when i was short.
    I have always paid them back, since i have been able to drive i have returned the favours, i have never taken the !!!! with their generosity.

    on the other hand you would have to bribe my brother to do any sort of favour for you, he will only pick someone up if he gets paid for it. if my mum gave him a tenner to get some things for her and it came to £8, he would keep the change.

    the point i am trying to make is that it all depends on the child, if he is like me give him the tenner, if he is like my brother dont because what goes around comes around!:rotfl:
  • 2 comments to this, firstly I know a man who is almost 40 who still gets his parents to bail him out (several credit card pay-offs and recently a new car he couldn't afford himself). They're not rich, but they are soft. He's spoilt and uses them as his financial safety net. They would have re-imbursed him the £10 when he was 11!

    Secondly, it's not possible to be soft on your kids just once and teach them a valuable lesson "next time". It never comes as they would resent you more for refusing to give them the tenner next time. If you weren't strong enough to say no the first time, there's not a chance you could the second when you know their expectations are already there.

    Be strong Marion and Howard! Richie will appreciate you more for it in the long term...
  • babybug
    babybug Posts: 657 Forumite
    Secondly, it's not possible to be soft on your kids just once and teach them a valuable lesson "next time". quote]

    I totally agree with this; if you start strong/disciplined, you can always soften up when appropriate but if you start soft you don't always get chance to toughen up and teach your kid the important lesson.

    I think I would sit the child down and say that I wasn't going to replace the money, because life sometimes isn't fair and nice. If OH was adamant we should replace the money, the only way I would agree to that is if I were to buy a wallet with the money, and explain to the kid that that is what I had done.
    Nobody I'd rather be ;)
  • PhilU
    PhilU Posts: 4 Newbie
    Not a chance.... If any 11y/o is lucky enough to have a £10 note to stuff in his back pocket he is also old enough to learn how much it hurts to loose something worth having.

    A hard lesson but a necessary one to teach as the childs attitude to money is obviously flippant and regarded as easy come easy go.

    Why not tell the child to go to the police station and report it properly as part of a learning experience.

    Harsh? No..... life sucks sometimes.:confused:

    PhilU
  • Ephemera
    Ephemera Posts: 1,604 Forumite
    No, they shouldn't replace it. He needs to be more careful with his money, and replacing it will just teach him the lesson that if he's careless his parents will bail him out - so what's the point of being careful?

    If he's that worried about the money he can earn it by doing extra jobs around the house, and as another poster suggested, his parents could buy him a wallet!!!!

    It's not the end of the world as long as he's fed, got a warm house to live in and loving parents... more than a significant proportion of the rest of the world's inhabitants!
    If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got.



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