Wendy's "To get it out of my head" Diary

Keeping_Positive

Got a leaving do coming up laterin the month hoping to enjoy that. The thing is more and more he gets jealous that I get to go out. Its got to the stage where most of the time I dont have fun becasue Im worried what reaction I will get. The late thurs might yelling after France was fairly common after I have been away/out. It is this behaviour that is the worst and most upsetting.

Trying not to be down just trying to explain.

dizzy_lizzie

Hi Wendy...I keep starting to post then changing my mind as I don't know what to say really about OH. I have to say I hate the thought that you're worrying about his moods. That's no way to live is it? Anyway who knows what the future holds. Once you're debt free I think you'll feel more inclined to make some serious decisions and who knows once the pressure of counting every penny is gone you may find there's something worth saving in your marriage. Really I do feel for you. No one should have to be in an unhappy marriage, I understand why people are though iykwim
Hope you're okay and it's nice to see you on my diary. You know GR and myself are here for you.
Luvz Dizzy x

GirlRacer_2

Diz is right Wendy, anytime you wanna let off steam we'll listen.

People are jealous because they are insecure. The only way around this is if you decide you want to stay with OH you have to make it clear to him that it's him you want.

Me and my ex OH were so different he was quiet and reserved and I'm outgoing and sociable. When we went out he would always have a go at me for speaking to people but that's my way.

I really do hope things work out for you, as Diz said maybe when your debt free the decision will be easier to make.

Keeping_Positive

Thanks Dizzy thats really good to read. Im trying to stay positive, word hard at everything and so far things arent too bad. Managed to get a job that pays enough to cover outgoings which is a first. Spent the last 10 years after having DD1 fighting to keep the debt down. and as you can see failing. Of course comfort overspending didnt help!

OH has been a right grump today. Not happy when I chat on the phone to colleagues, not happy at waiting outside for the eyetests (it took forever last time what did he expect?). Whinging when my Mum rang him to thank us for helping her this morning. At least she spoke to him. Probably would have whinged if she hadnt rang him and just me. Moans about being bored but still not happy when we are out doing something to help someone. He can be soo selfish at times. Oh and not happy I am going to London for a days course another problem apparently. Even the Doctor thought he was unfair for not being happy when I went away in May.

It makes it hard for me to stay positive.

Doctor has kept the meds the same so will see how things go. Pills wont cure everything but they seem to help. As my Mum says I am over emotional so maybe these help control that.

Going to try an be a bit more positive from now on although I do appreciate being able to vent a bit (ok a lot) on here.

Moneywise quiet not any big overspends as such just desperate to sell the car. So fingers crossed some interest arises from somewhere.

Todays spends
7.10 perscription
1.70 + .60 parking
60.60 diesel

Not too bad.

Worked out pence per mileage on last tank and wont lose out on company rate as I feared so another positive.

In_Search_Of_Me

aww hugs...sounds like thing are quite tough again. Will OH get some help? Sounds like both of you are really struggling..wish I could do something to help...Sounds also as if OH may have agrophobia and if this is the cae he sint alone although it hard for blokes to get help becaue society generally expects them to cope and its hard for them to admit they arent...Have you managed to see the GP yet? May help to talk thing over with an outsider and see if they can refer you for councelling to help you sort you feelings out? Feel free to PM if you want a chat...thinking of you

Keeping_Positive

Debt free will help I think thats why Im so obsessed with trying to get rid of it.

Keeping_Positive

Spoke to Doctor (same Doctor as OH) he cant talk directly about OH to me but I did say I was worried about long term use of painkillers and that he takes way too many. Doctor wants to see him apparently there is another type OH can try. OH reaction to Doctor wanting to see him was that he would ignore the request (didnt tell OH it was me that brought him up in the conversation).

I feel torn that I should be more supportive but then he doesnt seem to want to help himself.

Keeping_Positive

More positive thinking

Quidco £65.50 validated
Moneybackmadness £39.00 due just waiting for 12.50 from betfair
Pigsback 1662 points
Valued Opinion £7 with another £2 pending

Xmas thrift club another £100 paid in so at the £500 target when chq clears and when car sells most of my budgeted year end cars spends no longer as done already. Should have most if not all the money for the holiday as well.

Grocery Challenges going well never though I would be able to stick to £250 a month.

Finished at the very last moment my coursework and its better than last time so hoping for a decent score rather than just a pass.

dizzy_lizzie

Good luck Wendy with the coursework. And well done for getting into the positive thinking frame.
You're doing great hun.
Luvz Dizzy x

Verbatim

Hope your coursework gets a good mark and that you can stay positive. must be hard worrying about what reaction you'll get when you go home.