Wendy's "To get it out of my head" Diary

Keeping_Positive

Car cost came in at £330 £70 better than planned so a WTM there. Also just picked up a bookcas for Mum and a double buggy for Sis from freecycle. Should also have a mens bike for nephew as well so a good afternoon.

OH very happy with car it is much better and apparently very quick so will have to be careful about speeding without realising.

GirlRacer_2

You seem to be having a good day. Glad the car was cheaper than budgeted for - that doesn't usually happen, it's usually more than you allow.

In_Search_Of_Me

aww just read this...huge hugs for you. Its one of those life decisions that must be your. I can say though that my mum stayed with my dad for years when she houldnt have - nothing left in the marriage except negativity and ultimately that did more damage in the long run...we were so much happier & the house was calmer when we were on our own. Each case is different of course but just wanted to say that staying for the kids isnt necc the best thing if its a very unhappy situation...re going BR will it have any impact on your job? Re OH have you discussed marriage guidance counc? May be worth it if thing are that bad? PM if I ca be of any help but meanwhie big squidgy hug commin atcha!!

Keeping_Positive

Thanks ISOM

Alot of the time we do get on but to be honest Im not sure if I fancy him enough these days. I do love him and care but dont really want to be with him. I have grown up since we met and I think thats part of the problem.

I dont think the situation is really really bad although I do worry when we argue that he will lose it because he is quite aggressive and years ago has been violent. He would really have to really lose it now as he knows I would up and go to the police if anything happens but I worry how bad it would be if he really loses it. I sometimes see him holding back. I suppose I do need to find a safe environment to tell him how I really feel. I do care for him at it would crush him to hear that I dont fancy him and dont really want to be together anymore. He does try in the relationship its me that doesnt respond enough.

I dont want to hurt the kids if I do leave or try to make him go or even just quit work to be with them all it would have a major impact on all of us that I wouldnt be able to step back from so I need to know it would be better than now.

As long as I work BR shouldnt be needed but will if I quit and yes Im fairly sure it will impact in the field I work in (finance/banking). Im sure I can turn my hand to whatevers needed though. Ive done box taping (all day cellotaping boxes), chocolate packing and cleaning in the past to make ends meet.

Anyway thats enough sad stuff. Today going to take the Cavalier for a run. OH looking for new golf club that should be less than £10 and has heasrd of a different larger branch of his fav golf shop about 25 miles away in Stratford upon Avon. If the weathers good I will see if we can find the large park in the town.

GirlRacer_2

Hi Wendy.

OH left me 5 years ago and me and the kids are so much happier. It's quite stressful being a single parent but it's less stressful than being in a marriage you don't want to be in. Me and OH are actually on good terms now - well we tolerate each other - and I've realised that I settled for being with him rather than being on my own.

Its a big decision to make and I hope its one you put a lot of thought into and not do something rash on the spur of the moment.

My ex-bf keeps calling round, texting and phoning me since February after silence for 3 years. I really thought he was the great love of my life, yet now I can't bear to be near him. I care for him very much and wouldn't want anything bad to happen to him but I just don't fancy him at all. We all change over time.

Hope you have a good day out today - weather really wet in Wales, so hope it's better for you. Try and forget your problems and enjoy the BH

Big hugs
GR x

Keeping_Positive

Weather looking wet here as well, what a suprise! Kids bored already.

In_Search_Of_Me

Wet here too!! At least I dont have to feel guilty for not going to the allotment!!
Re OH - I think for me I just knew at the point of no return and that was it. Made it easier as I had tried before that so when the time came I knew it was the right decision IYKWIM! As GR says its a major decision and one to be taken time over as the impact is huge and also a major life adjustment if made...
Hope you have an ok day despite bored kids!

GirlRacer_2

Hi ISOM which part of Wales are you?

Keeping_Positive

I believe she is in Cardiff GR

Didnt go in the cavalier yesterday as OH did a midnight run to Straftford in the new car so £10 of diesel used :mad: . Golf shop closed. Now I know its cheaper fuel wise to use the diesel zafira than petrol cavalier but Im the one who pays for the diesel. Think I prefered it when he couldnt drive my car.

Ended up going to an indoor play area an hour away to get the kids to burn some energy off. Went to get them a Toby Carvery for dinner (can recalim through work for going to Dublin at short notice) but 1 1/2 wait and they dont take bookings :mad: :mad: . Ended up in Burgerking and still very hyper kids including neighbours kids so had to take Zafira not Cavalier, more diesel.

Nice day though just more expensive than planned and my own fault.

Today is a work day to catch up from taking friday off at short notice so hopefullly I can avoid this site later until this evening when I can report back I have caught up :rotfl: .

Hope you all well.

In_Search_Of_Me

yes I am in Cardiff! Have a good catch up day W!