Very traditional asian inlaws getting on my XXXXX

trafalgar_2

I have agree with meher and say I find some of the posts mocking too

margaretclare wrote:

you say you are English and Muslim. I cannot understand why an Englishwoman would volunteer to join such a foreign religion.

Aunty Margaret

whats foreign about islam as a religion,why shouldn't an English person not be English and Muslim and what does it matter what language is used for the prayers?

Savvy_Sue

meheraltaf wrote:

It is not anyone's business or concern the language or God of Elaine's prayers. And in any case, you have got everything wrong, these are sensitive issues, a person's God, religion and faith is intimate and exclusive to them and not one for others to question, influence or comment on.

Can one not ask out of interest what another believes? Or why another person practises their religion as they do? Surely if we cannot do this, there is no hope of understanding each other? To me, this is where intolerance springs from: Christians at one time were persecuted because they were thought to eat real human flesh, and this was a failure to understand the practice of their faith. I have a small understanding of faiths other than my own, but if those of a different faith do not talk to me about their faith, how do I know I am not behaving in an offensive way?

When one marries outside one's family's comfort zone there may well be difficulties with the in-laws. But, as others have said, this is not restricted to faith, race or colour. Talking about why one person or family behaves as they do may lead to understanding and tolerance: not even being allowed to comment upon it will not solve the problem.

An example: my FIL has certain expectations of how children will behave. We will leave aside whether these expectations are reasonable, or even 'normal', I will just say that my MIL's comment was "You never saw much of your children when they were growing up so you don't know how they behaved." And his expectations were certainly not 'the norm' within my family, which is so similar in many ways to my DH's that we even had an honorary aunt in common.

Once I knew what my FIL's expectations were, and that he would be deeply hurt by their failure to do X, Y and Z, and once my children reached an age where they could be expected to understand his requirements, it was easy enough to meet them. But he hadn't felt it necessary to say what he expected, because to him it was so obvious. I did not understand why he always seemed hurt and disappointed, even angry, with his grandchildren. Only through asking questions could I gain understanding and start to resolve the situation.

rabialiones

wow!, this post is certainly getting hot and interesting, although it seems to have taken a diversion from the original post.
it is certainly interesting and informative, as it seems to have uncovered the reason why there is a lot of intolerance and misunderstanding due to people being ignorant (dont mean this in a nasty way) about the diversity of british religions and cultures.

it would help if we sought knowledge about why people do the things that they do as regards their beleifs and looked at the reasons behind their lifestyle and actions.#
this would enlighten us and enable us to understand things logically.
islam is a way of life, and covers every aspect of our daily life, eating, sleeping, bathing etc. and shows us how to perform these actions in a beneficial way.
e.g. when sleeping, we should lay in the (what is now known as) the recovery position in medical terms.
there are many such examples

meheraltaf

Savvy_Sue wrote:

Can one not ask out of interest what another believes? Or why another person practises their religion as they do? .......

margaretclare wrote:

....Elaine, you say you are English and Muslim. I cannot understand why an Englishwoman would volunteer to join such a foreign religion. As I understand it, you say your prayers in Arabic, am I right? Arabic is a Middle- Eastern language. Don't you think that God understands all languages? Won't He hear your prayers, as He hears mine, if you pray in your native tongue?

I had a bit of a discussion with B this morning when we were talking about Christmas, Advent etc. He said: 'The bottom line is, I believe in God'. I said: 'But you could have believed in God and stayed with the religion you were brought up in - you deliberately chose to become a Christian' (he was baptised in his 70th year). He said: 'Oh no no, I didn't want to stick with them and maybe become another one like Kirk Douglas'. 'Well then, you could have become a Muslim, they believe in God'. 'No, no, no!' And he made that point that I've made, that he prefers to pray in his own language and he has every belief that God hears him.

Aunty Margaret

This didnt come across to me as asking out of interest or with genuiness, it came across as questioning as though there is no trust, patronizing, mocking and prejudiced.

Zziggi

margaretclare wrote:

I know I am setting myself up to be flamed here, but....Elaine, you say you are English and Muslim. I cannot understand why an Englishwoman would volunteer to join such a foreign religion.

Christianity didn't originate from the UK so one could argue why on earth would Aunty Margaret (an Englishwoman) volunteer to join such a foreign religion as christianity.

Depends on what you call traditionally English. How long does something have to be in the country before it is classed as English (i'm talking people, races, religion etc etc).

I can see perfectly why and English woman would chose to be a Muslim. Have you seen that statistics recently? There are a HELL of a lot of "ethnically British" (i.e. white) muslims out there. For example Frank Dobson MP's son, Johnathan Birt (ex-BBC boss) son and daughter etc etc

MSE_ForumTeam1

This thread is being closed because some of the comments are getting a bit personal. No blame associated with anyone in particular, but the forum is primarily for moneysaving purposes and we do not have the resources to moderate a heated debate.

Regards