Suicidal - please help me!

Wol2

sporter wrote: »

£500? Where from?

Sporter Hun

Don't panic.....big hugs and deep breaths...and a cup of tea.

We will work this out...just give me 24 hours as a bit wobbly tonight.

PM m your phone number...land line...we will talk tomorrow.

Big hugs
Wol2
xx

GeorgeUK

Hi Sporter

Have you applied for any credit recently and have you missed any payments or defaulted yet (or paid less than the minimum)? Just want to make sure nothing has changed since you last posted about that.

It may help to post an up to date SOA so we can see what changes have been made to your expenditure and cards. The calculator is a great tool for this.
http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html

As already mentioned, there are templates available on the board to assist with writing letters to the banks and we can advise on what the process is. One of the most important parts is having a bank account that you do not owe any money to. This will allow you to have any income paid into that safe account so the banks you owe money to cannot just take funds out.

You have already said a few times that you intend to do this yourself. There is a DMP support thread on the board for posters that are doing this and may be worthwhile looking through that to get an idea of any difficulties they have faced. I was under the impression that it was easier to get interest stopped going through one of the free debt charities, but this may not be the case.

If your credit file is still in pretty good shape and you haven't applied for too much credit recently (3 credit checks within a 6 month period is fine), then it may be worthwhile trying one last time to get another 0% card. Wol2 mentioned it in a previous post, but the virgin money card seems to be the best offer out right now. There is a 2.98% BT fee and 1st month is 3% min payment but 2nd - 15th min payments are only £25. Hopefully you could get a big enough credit limit so that this will make tarting the cards workable.

Before doing anything though, please post up what you are considering as it is always better to have a few people weighing up the pros and cons rather than just forging ahead with what seems like a good idea.

Hope things are looking up soon.

sporter_2

Oh dear!!

I have just rung Barclaycard and they told me that if I go on a long term DMP plan with them, I will have to pay £50 per month and the interest will NOT be frozen

Things are just getting worse:mad:

I am getting really panicky now............not sure where to turn.

I have NOT defaulted in anything.......have kept up ALL minumum payments.
M&S, Barclaycard and MBNA have all been blocked now.

I have a meeting with Bank Manager today (not sure what to ask him - any ideas )

Checked my credit file..........seem ok but a few things need to be taken off.
Will call them today.

Help me please

Sporter

miggy

Just bumping you Sporter - hang in there and people who know what they are talking about will be on their way (I'm not one of them, sorry).
Wishing you all the best, and ignore Barclaycard's growling. They can't take what you haven't got to give them, so in the end it will have to be something you can manage.
Chin up, coming on here was a grand step in the right direction!

sporter_2

Thanks Miggy:beer:

I'm just gonna have something to eat (try to), then I'll come back and start doing another SOA. Obviously things have changed for the worst since the last one:mad:

After this, I will take the next step (again!)

Sporter

kizzykizzywizzy

I second what Georgeuk has said, have you tried getting a 0% card, whilst your credit rating is still ok.
That's how I managed to pay a chunk of mine off, by moving from 1 to the other. Virgin was great for me as the min payments were so low it allowed me to pay off my overdraft, which for the amount of money i was o/d was very expensive, threw that money (int charges ) into paying more off of other cards where 0% was running out, a lot of juggling, but it really worked. I was £20k in debt, & I've managed to not ruin my credit rating thankfully, not because I want more credit, but I have had to re-mortgage & that was a HUGE worry.
I know exactly how you feel, not being able to eat or sleep for worry, I just think you've got to make a big & realistic descision, do you think with a bit of jiggling, ebaying, swapping providers, overtime, second job etc you can get through this without ruining your credit score?
If it sounds impossible, then probably DMP is a way forward, where you will not be wasting money on charges, as hopefully they will be frozen, & your debt will go down at a rate where you will still have some sort of life.
Though this re-morgaging thing is a nightmare at the moment, don't know how DMP would affect that.
Please excuse me if I've mis-read any of this thread as really skimmed through, so may have missed some points.
Take care IT WILL GET BETTER believe me

chimp_choker

sporter wrote: »

£500? Where from?

Sorry to spook you sporter. I was trying to elude to using your cards to buy things that you would normally buy with your cash or debit card.
If you buy say £50 worth of food on pay day on your cash or debit card then it's gone but if you buy the same £50 on your credit card then you can draw the £50 out of the cash account and stick it under the matress. Do the same for other living exenses such as petrol, water bill, council tax etc and draw the money out and keep the cash under the bed.

Believe me you need a cash surplus if only a small one because when they stop the cards you will have no source of funds for "emergencies " such as food or petrol, tyres, MOT unexpected bills for repairs or breakdowns etc.

GeorgeUK

Not sure if this has been mentioned earlier either (I promise i did read the thread again last night :rolleyes: )

Have you looked at what you could possibly reclaim?
Bank charges (currently on hold due to test case but still worth starting process now)
Credit card charges (not part of the test case)

Missold anything?
Have a look to see if you have been missold any endowment policies or PPI (payment protection insurance) that you may be able to reclaim.

Have you also looked at your council tax banding? You may be able to recalim money for this if you are not in the same band as similar properties in your street.
http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/reclaim/

Also check http://www.entitledto.co.uk/ to make sure you are claiming for everything you should.

Chickfactor_2

I know exactly how you feel, I'm sat here crying my eyes out because we're in so much debt and it feels like it will never never end...

Between us me and my hubby earn £2300 per month, and out of that we pay...

Mortgage 1st house 303.21
Mortgage 2nd house 550.00
Secured loan to Picture 291.72
Credit cards (10 between us) 850.00
Council tax 100.00
Food etc 140.00
Gas/ elec 70.80
Computer loan/ catalogue 43.00
Sky & Internet 35.00

TOTAL 2383.73
-83.73

and I'm sure there's some other stuff I've forgotten. My hubby is in the position of using credit card cheques each month to pay another credit card off.

Clearly the answer is to sell one of the houses- however if we sold the house we live in, after estate agent/ solicitor fees there wouldn't BE enought to pay the mortgage and consolidation loan (house worth about 71k- cost us 53k, loan 20k). We are not permitted to sell the 2nd house as his mother and brother live there (more or less rent free) and my husband couldn't bear the guilt of making them homeless- he also can't bear making them pay a realistic rent so he asks them for £200 every now and then. He seems okay that we're going under, and we have a row every time I try to talk to him about money ("it's not as bad as you think, we're fine!!!")

If I thought my life insurance would pay out for a suicide I'd do it... I can't do it all by myself and I feel like we're drowning in debt. We'd like to adopt but unless we can sort our finances we've been told it's unlikely.

Help me, please!

chimp_choker

Chickfactor wrote: »

I know exactly how you feel, I'm sat here crying my eyes out because we're in so much debt and it feels like it will never never end...

Between us me and my hubby earn £2300 per month, and out of that we pay...

Mortgage 1st house 303.21
Mortgage 2nd house 550.00
Secured loan to Picture 291.72
Credit cards (10 between us) 850.00
Council tax 100.00
Food etc 140.00
Gas/ elec 70.80
Computer loan/ catalogue 43.00
Sky & Internet 35.00

TOTAL 2383.73
-83.73

and I'm sure there's some other stuff I've forgotten. My hubby is in the position of using credit card cheques each month to pay another credit card off.

Clearly the answer is to sell one of the houses- however if we sold the house we live in, after estate agent/ solicitor fees there wouldn't BE enought to pay the mortgage and consolidation loan (house worth about 71k- cost us 53k, loan 20k). We are not permitted to sell the 2nd house as his mother and brother live there (more or less rent free) and my husband couldn't bear the guilt of making them homeless- he also can't bear making them pay a realistic rent so he asks them for £200 every now and then. He seems okay that we're going under, and we have a row every time I try to talk to him about money ("it's not as bad as you think, we're fine!!!")

If I thought my life insurance would pay out for a suicide I'd do it... I can't do it all by myself and I feel like we're drowning in debt. We'd like to adopt but unless we can sort our finances we've been told it's unlikely.

Help me, please!

It might be better if you re post this as a new thread chickfactor. That way more people see it and can comment. Whilst you are here, suicideisn't the answer and believe me I've tried. The thing is if you do that the ba'tards have won and you won't be around to enjoy the debt free part when it comes....... and it will come.

Now might not be the best time to sell even if you could as it will bring heart ache. You need to sit your hasband down and say that things are bad and you need his help to sort it out. Do a spread sheet / budget of everything that goes in and out including everything like newspapers, work dinners, petrol , chocolates take aways, nights out at the pub etc.

Then tell him you need his help ( again) as you can't manage it on your own. Ask him if he can offer any ideas that you might have missed. Even if you have thought of all his ideas tell him that's a good one I'll look at that and let you know etc.
It's all about sowing the seed into his brain.... I done it with my wife and now sometimes I regret doing it as she is a tyrant when I want to waste money...... well of course buying car magazines isn't wasting money but she thinks it is , lol.
Leave it a few days then say that idea worked a bit as you can save ( say £5 a month etc) have you any more ideas.....

Try not to argue and fight as it get people entrenched and they don't back down. I once gave my house keys to my wife when she wouldn't listen to my ideas and concerns and told her I couldn't do it on my own so I was leaving........ she called my bluff by opening the door !!!