Wedding Cost nightmare

Sarahjovi

I would tell them, that they should look at BHS or one of the High street shops for more reasonble priced outfits. They are just taking the 'Michael' expecting you to payout that amount.

Sarah

seven-day-weekend

Mrs7ones wrote: »

thanks so much for your replies - it's good to know that it's not just me being tight!!!!

Scotsgirl - £300 is a just a ball-park figure, but, we know that DS2's outfit is £74 plus shoes. DD's dress is to be made to fit in with the oter b'maids (now there's a point, I wonder if they are paying for their own stuff), but there's also the cost of shoes, heardress, hair dresser on the day....... Plus, she isn't a little one - she taked a dress size 10, so we're looking at adult clothes for her.

We've already mentioned to BiL that we weren't expecting to pay, and his reaction was that it's all going to be very expensive for them too :eek: :eek: .
He also said that we've got plenty of time to save :eek: . BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT!!!!!!

The only alternative is for DS2 and DD not to take part in the wedding. Which seems very unfair on them. So it looks like put-up-and-shut-up!

Er...but it is their choice to spend so much money! - they could chose something cheaper and not expect guests to subsidise it.

I peraonally would say your children cannot take part if you have to pay for these clothes. And mean it. I'm sure they children will understand if you explain why.

Zazen999

Explain to the kids how long it will take - pocket money wise - to pay for it.

Mrs7ones

Zazen999 wrote: »

Explain to the kids how long it will take - pocket money wise - to pay for it.

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Sarahjovi - they've done the highstreet - nothing they liked!!!

Maz

This thread reminds me of one of my SIL's wedding arrangements. Her other half wanted to sell tickets to the guests for the evening do, to recoup his outlay and make a profit!

sooz

wow :eek:

Perhaps you could agree to pay for the outfits if they agree to pay for bridesmaid/pageboy services? I believe the current rate for renting a bridemaid is about £200 per day, & £15 for every half hour after 6pm . If the wedding is on a Sunday, of course the cost doubles.

Speak to the other bridemaids, & see if you can all tell them that they are taking the p*ss.

sooz

Maz wrote: »

This thread reminds me of one of my SIL's wedding arrangements. Her other half wanted to sell tickets to the guests for the evening do, to recoup his outlay and make a profit!

:eek: did she still marry him after that suggestion?

miserly_mum

Mrs7ones wrote: »

DD isn't a child size, and we need to pay for shoes, tiarra and hairdresser too.
DS2's outfit is confirmed at £74 plus shoes

My Gawd are they not even paying for your DD to get her hair done?:(

The whole thing is a joke. Other posters have covered exactly my sentiments but, I was wondering if your children really really want to participate or are they not that bothered like your other son? Did BIL say much when you told them DS wasn't being an usher?

If the kids will feel let down by not doing it that would be a shame but if they aren't fussed i'd just tell your BIL to find someone else.

If your kids do end up doing their roles and you have to fork out for the dress hire then don't give them a wedding present as another poster suggested.

If they don't like it then tough:mad:

celyn90

I also think it's ill-mannered to ask you to pay anyway, but far worse when her requirements are so specific. You are certainly not being tight, that is an awful lot of money for a couple of outfits that are only going to be worn for a few hours. If they were going to ask for finacial input, you should have been told first and given the right to decline without feeling guilty and certainly before the little ones were involved.

I paid for my bridesmaids dress at my sisters wedding, despite her offering to pay, because I knew she couldn't afford it. But the only criterion she gave me was that it had to be burgandy, so I managed to get a lovely one in BHS (marked as £40 in the sale and I negotiated it down to £30 because it had a small flaw in the zip at the back, which was easily repaired when I got home). I have worn the dress on another occassion since too, so it wasn't a bad investment. She wouldn't have cared if I had turned up in a dress from a Primark provided it was the right colour. I chose it based on what I could afford, and based on what a new outfit would have cost me if I hadn't been part of the party. All other weddings I have participated in, the dresses have been provided by the couple, because they were dead-set on what they wanted.

I would never expect to keep the dress afterwards - two of the five weddings I have been bridesmaid at, the dresses were returned and sold to a hire store, thus allowing the couple to recoup part of the cost of the day.

I really hope that you get it sorted out OP, don't be afraid to stand your ground. cel x

baileysbattlebus

My daughter is getting married in February next year in Thailand, DH and I are paying for the trip, her sister wants to pay for the ceremony as a wedding present, she is having 4 bridesmaids and she is paying for all of the dresses, flowers etc, her sister and her friends who are bridesmaids have all offered to pay for their own dresses but she won't hear of it. She is not buying them from a wedding shop as she thought the bridesmaids dresses were awful, they are coming from Coast at a cost of around £120 each and the girls will be able to use them again.
I would never expect the bridesmaids etc to pay for their own outfits and if she couldn't afford to pay for them we would have done.
If they can't afford the outlay for what they want, they should choose something they can afford.