Wedding Cost nightmare

floss2

full-time-mum wrote: »

Have your aguments ready. Have you asked her if she really expects you to take out a loan/overdraft to fund someone else's extravagant wedding 'cos that is effectively what they are asking?

In fact, why not ask her to lend you the money, so you CAN be part of the wedding of the year?!

But I accpet, that's not very MSE

belfastgirl23

I think I'd sort of get my own back by being really really nice about it all. And not giving anyone an excuse to go off on one. The decision is made so it's just about sticking to it. And TBH I wouldn't go into too many details, you wish them well, want to be part of their big day, wouldn't miss it for the world etc etc but not in a position to pay for that stuff. And if anyone does get upset just say 'I'm so sorry you feel like that but we can't afford it' and leave it at that. The more you get into explanations etc the more you weaken your position since you give people ammunition to argue with you.

Keep with it, it will get easier!

haylibo

I'm with Belfastgirl23, launch a charm offensive - it'll highlight their less than gracious behaviour.
I don't understand this approach to weddings where everyone has to struggle to go. I married 18 months ago and we invited only immediate family and very close friends. We paid for everything, accommodation, drinks etc because we wanted everyone who was there to have a good time. We knew that the guests had varying incomes and I wouldn't have wanted, for instance, our friends with little ones and both of them working to feel encumbered by having to pay to come to our wedding! Was fantastic and very intimate, good fun. If you can't afford it, do it a way you can.

floss2

I agree, we're planning our wedding - well, sort of, we haven't set a date yet because we have other commitments but we will pay the bill for the whole caboodle, including new suits for my DS's, hotel accomodation for the select few & new frocks for me & my BM, followed by a bash for all the bits of family & our mates after the event

Mrs7ones

I haven't actually mention our wedding yet, but we got wed 8 years ago, at the local town hall and had only 15 people to the wedding/reception in a neighbouring hotel.
We then had a huge party in the same hotel in the evening for everyone we knew who wanted to celebrate with us.
We paid for everything for the wedding/receprion, even the drinks for everyone during the day and up to the party starting.
We had no dress code at all, except that DH and his best man had matching ties (which we bought).
It was a very good inexpensive day the sole purpose of which was us getting married.
(I hate all the current trend to have the biggest best most lavish wedding possible - brides seem to have lost the fact that the point of a wedding it to get wed!!!)

belfastgirl23

Mrs7ones wrote: »

I haven't actually mention our wedding yet, but we got wed 8 years ago, at the local town hall and had only 15 people to the wedding/reception in a neighbouring hotel.
We then had a huge party in the same hotel in the evening for everyone we knew who wanted to celebrate with us.
We paid for everything for the wedding/receprion, even the drinks for everyone during the day and up to the party starting.
We had no dress code at all, except that DH and his best man had matching ties (which we bought).
It was a very good inexpensive day the sole purpose of which was us getting married.
(I hate all the current trend to have the biggest best most lavish wedding possible - brides seem to have lost the fact that the point of a wedding it to get wed!!!)

Your wedding sounds like fun I hate big formal dos personally.

duchy

I'd just tell MIL that you are DEVESTATED not to be able to attend and how much your kids wanted to be part of such a special day. Lay on the guilt -and make THEM feel bad that you can't afford it. Tell her you just can't talk about it because it makes you cry-and then watch her squirm.
Some people seem to lose all sense of reality whe it comes to weddings. It's one day and meant to be about sharing your special day with others not about bringing everyone into debt and family rows.

MrsE_2

morg_monster wrote: »

chilli con carne and rice at a wedding? think of the stink! I wouldn't want that wafting around on my big day! (I have been known to make OH sleep on the sofa after chilli or spag bol... i hasten to add, for his wafts not mine!)

I'm surprised at the tone of this on a money saving forum.
Should we not be appluading them for being so MSE & not getting into debt for their big day, rather than cheap put downs:rolleyes:

MrsE_2

LouBlue wrote: »

Yes it obviously can be done and fair play to them.....but

A local caterer provided an afternoon buffet lunch for 40 guests and an evening meal of chilli con carne and rice or potato pie and peas for twice that number for barely £300.

Drinks for the reception came from Asda - one-litre bottles of sparkling wine for £2.99 each.

Some corners should never be cut.

Again, hardlt the sprit of MSE, are you sneering at their meal?

Would you prefer them to get a loan to have put on a better meal?

skintbutsmiling01

MrsE- I think the poster was joking, esp about the fizz! Its been well documented cheap fizz tastes just as good/better on some occasions than the "proper" stuff.
My sister had chilli at her wedding, it was lovely, not spicy and I have no recollection of a stink.
Did drop it down my (paid for) BM dress though .....

Mrs 7ones- hope your dad is ok. xx