Birthday party - parents expect to come too?

Loretta

wendy24g wrote: »

At six very few kids would need or want their parents about. I wouldnt expect someone to pay for me if I was with my child (not going to happen as mine ignore me as soon as they go in!!).

I dont understand the parents that were apparently "put out". If you do get anyone whos not happy just remember them for future years. Party numbers tend to get smaller as they get older. Either that or the parents cant face another large party:p .

I agree, 6 year olds go to school without their parents being there with them all day

Loretta

Strapped wrote: »

The issue with meeting at the venue mainly is that the play barn is not at the entrance, so parents would not be able to bring their kids right to the barn; we would have to all meet at the entrance and I didn't really want to have a load of kids standing about in the cold/wet if one or two are late showing up. Whereas if they meet at our house, they can wait in the warm. Hmmm, I shall have to give it some thought - maybe I could wait at the entrance for stragglers - although we need a min # in the group to get the free adult passes. Maybe I will check with the park to see whether it's possible to buy the entrance tickets in advance to save messing about on the day. Although it's unlikely to be busy at this time of year. Lots to think about!

If I were you I would definitely buy the tickets in advance and that would save you getting involved with other parents or siblings thinkiing you are going to pay for them. Whether or not you take them all or some are dropped off, you or an adult from your party could be at the entrance with a list, maybe on a clip board to make it look very organised, and make a bit of a thing about crossing off the names of the children you have invited. If you were at the gate actually buying the tickets some may try to squeeze in or you may find it difficult to hold up the queue while you explain that you are not paying for people who are not invivted.

Actually another thought not you at the gate but another adult who has the list and no money on them!

Strapped

Loretta wrote: »

Actually another thought not you at the gate but another adult who has the list and no money on them!

I am liking this idea very much

mrcow

Strapped wrote: »

We are planning to offer that parents drop off/pick up at our house and ferry the kids there in all our cars.

My son is six and if he was in your son's class and was invited to this, then there is no way he'd be accepting if this is the set-up. I wouldn't allow him to be "ferried" by a passing aquaintance's mother who I'd never met and to be supervised for a day in a park by a group of people I don't even know, including someone's sister who is going to looking after three children of her own.

Just my take on it.......I'd be one of the people declining

Madmel

When my kids started being invited to parties like this, we NEVER expected to be paid for. In fact, as aonther poster has said, once they started school we never stayed at parties unless the parents specifically asked us to stay. I look on parties as the cheance to spend some quality time with the other child.

For what it's worth, I think having someone standing at the entrance ticking off names is ideal. They could also write down contact details for the parents in case there is a problem.

In my experience the parents who stay at parties have generally refused to help with anything and their kids have been brats. Those who have offered help, and those with siblings (especially older ones who have helped) have been wonderful.

OP stick to your guns. If you don't want to pay for them, be honest. Say that whilst you are happy to pay for the children, it is unrealistic for you to pay for parents. What about those kids with step-parents? Are you expected to pay for them too? By paying for nobody else, you are being fair to all. Good luck

Strapped

mrcow wrote: »

My son is six and if he was in your son's class and was invited to this, then there is no way he'd be accepting if this is the set-up. I wouldn't allow him to be "ferried" by a passing aquaintance's mother who I'd never met and to be supervised for a day in a park by a group of people I don't even know, including someone's sister who is going to looking after three children of her own.

Just my take on it.......I'd be one of the people declining

Fair enough. Although it's not a "day in a park", just specifically a visit to that particular bit, for about 2-3 hours (haven't decided exactly how long yet). As I said, I have met all the mothers but yes, I don't know them all well.

I won't mind if some don't come

alm721

Loretta wrote: »

I agree, 6 year olds go to school without their parents being there with them all day

True but that is a very different situation. think CRB checks, many responsible adults etc. (I'm not suggeting that the op and her family are not responsible or anything but others parents may not know that or know that there will be 4 adults supervising, or know how many kids will be there) .TBH I wouldn't be happy leaving my 6 year old at a b/d party with parents of someone from her class who I don't know.
Its very different if your child is a close friend and you know the other parents. But when my daughter was this age and you have a party where you invite the class there are bound to be some parents who do not really know the people giving the party. There may also be some who stay because its a long way from home etc. However, in no way should you be expected to pay for the other parents.
If I were a parent and chose to stay I would fully expect to pay for myself as it is my choice to stay.

barbie_babe

Could you send a note out to all children invited saying you have changed plans and would like to meet at front gate. As you have changed you minds about taking 15 children plus in your cars. Adults you are welcome to stay with your children but the fee for any adults staying will be (how ever much it is).
Thank you.
If this note was sent home to me i would be pleased as i could make up my mind if i wanted to stay or go.
P.S Just thought invites might not have gone out yet. If they havnt put on invite about fee for adults.

modgit

I think parties are a complete minefield!
I too, have ended up with screaming younger siblings of guests when they haven't got a party bag, and one dad even asked me if I could look after his 3 year old cos he was busy! - oh sorry I'm not busy with a party of 25 6 year olds!

Anyway, in answer, I wouldn't let my 6 year old go unaccompanied, however I wouldn't expect the parents to pay for my entrance, it is my choice to have piece of mind and go with my son.

I think parents attitudes vary from school to school, DS1 is now 9 and in year 5 and obviously parties are stopping (hurrah), but the few he does go to tend to be close friends and cinema / bowling visits for a handful, so he goes alone. Up til last year, parents were always in full attendance.

I think that the booster seat issue is a big one also, as it's going to limit the amount of children you can carry in your car -ie can you get 3 boosters seats in the back?

Moms - why do we do it?!

alwaysonthego_2

I personally would not leave my child at a party if I did not know the parents etc. Though i would be happy to pay for myself!