Birthday party - parents expect to come too?

Loretta

If these parents are so over protective of children aged 6 perhaps they should make the effort to get to know the other parents and other children in the class as there children spend more time with these children than they do at home. I have always worked full time but I knew all the other parents because I made the effort

My children are all grown up now but we always had big parties and always invited the whole class and I don't remember parents or siblings staying, it all sounds like a nightmare now and I do agree that this nervous parents thing does seem to be quite recent.

because I seemed to be the only mother who worked too I used to take maybe 12 kids, with a couple of adults to help, to somewhere like Butlins for the day (I know I must have been mad) during the summer to pay back all the favours and emergency childcare during the year and the other parents were delighted to have a day to themselves in the middle of the long summer holidays but I knew all of them and they knew me, you have to become part of your children's lives

domestic_goddess

My little girl is five and TBH at all of the parties she has gone to, it has been expected that the parents would stay. I am happy with that anyway as I know from her parties that it is hard enough overseeing a party with all of the parents there without having to look after the kids....

Even four adults between 18 kids is possibly not enough if you take into account the tears you inevitably get as kids are so excited at partes. At my little girls last party, there was on argument between two little girls, a minor fight with two boys and a couple of tears shed when kids fall over, get knocked etc. At this age its only to be expected. I was happy to have the other parents there....... Having said that i didn't pay for them and I honestly dont think that his was expected. Anyone that brough siblings paid for them themselves and this was not even an issue! ireally wouldn't worry about this. I am sure that there will be no problems and you will all have a great day.

One last thing, I would definately not drop my kids off at someones house to be driven to a venue. Especially if they were going in more than one car. Sorry of that sounds over protective but these days, I dont know the person who will be driving them and I would say no. I think you are doing the right thing with asking people to make their own way there.

less hassle for you also

Have a great day:beer:

Elliebabe

I think you should stay with your child especially when the party is not at a home or church hall (and they are under 6). I have three children and made a fatal mistake with my first DD was 5 1/2 and was very confident (still is) - party was at a venue which caters for all ages . Left her because she wanted me to go came back early and found the children running all over the place in and out of the toilets (also being used by the other paying public) where were the parents getting drunk in the bar.

Not all people with children are responsible and I think until your child is able to know how to handle themselves then you should stay with them especially if you know nothing about the parents.

It would take just one incident (ie Madeline McCann) and then all parents would be required to stay at party venues. These parents aren't first aider trained, cleared by the police ( could be on the sex offenders list etc) etc. Apart from them having a child your child knows some parents you know nothing about!
Worth thinking about!

alwaysonthego_2

No I do not think that parents who stay behind at parties are holding their child's development back. It is totally rubbish this statement. Preoperational children feel more secure whilst their parents are in the vicinty to explore their surroundings. Obviously it depends on the parents and the child, but how on earth could a parent attending a six year olds party stump their development. It would be different if a parent insisted on staying at their child's school!

mrcow

Loretta wrote: »

If these parents are so over protective of children aged 6 perhaps they should make the effort to get to know the other parents and other children in the class as there children spend more time with these children than they do at home.

Odd logic there though......how are you supposed to mind read who is going to be at a party to supervise? The OP stated that she was planning to have her OH, her mother and her sister ferry 18 children to this day out.

Are you implying that parents should take the time out to get to know all the extended family of every child in all their childrens' classes? And also take their time to familiarise themselves with the driving habits of each one? Surely it's easier to just take the child to the party yourself and take a little time out of your day to spend some time there to ensure that you are comfortable with the set up?

happygal_3

Am reading this with interest as DD1 has been invited to a party on saturday at local bowling alley. Asked her who was going and she said the whole class!!

She is 5 and party host will be 6. I don;t really know her parents well - her nan drops/picks up at school. Not really comfortable with leaving DD and would usually stay in same building and have a coffee while leaving her to play - which is what all the other parents usually do. However my partner is away this weekend so can't look after DDs 2 & 3.

She says she will be ok alone so I am going to ask her best friends mum who I am friendly with to keep a discreet eye on her. The only time I have left her at a party by herself is when it is at a friends house:)

TBH I wouldn't feel at ease with my child travelling in someone elses car if I didn't know them. However I would NEVER expect anyone to pay entrance to a venue for me and my other children.

alwaysonthego_2

mrcow wrote: »

Are you implying that parents should take the time out to get to know all the extended family of every child in all their childrens' classes? And also take their time to familiarise themselves with the driving habits of each one? Surely it's easier to just take the child to the party yourself and take a little time out of your day to spend some time there to ensure that you are comfortable with the set up?

Lol, I pick my children up early from nursey and do not get chance to meet the other parents, maybe a quick hello etc. It also depends how big the school is, whether the children have childminders etc.

There is no way on earth that I would leave my child at a party if I did not know the parents. I am not going to take the risk (btw I am studying a degree in child development)

Carmina_Piranha_3

the OP's son may not have been at the school for long though - 4 terms at the most i'd have thought?

i used to talk to most mums in the playground but there were some children who were dropped off and picked up by a childcare facility so i couldn't really have got to know those parents.

by next year your son won't want the whole class - just the boys, so that will be cheaper :rotfl:

when spud turned 9, 10 and 11 we just took a couple of his friends to alton towers. i did offer to pay for the parents to come but they declined, as i had hoped they would - tesco vouchers can only stretch so far

Rachie_B

I am another "over protective " one :rolleyes:

My youngest will be 6 in April but i wouldnt let him go alone ( especially being driven !) to this type of party

unless it was one of the mums what i know really well from school ( one of whom is our childminder) and he was happy to let me

the only time ive let him go to a party without me,was a cinema party where he was sat down the whole time lol ( was one of the mums i know really well)

and my mobile number was left with the parents

there are a few children in my sons class who are always left at parties, and have been since start of reception....

they get upset / fight / need assistance and its up to the host or other parents to help out !

Strapped

Elliebabe wrote: »

I think you should stay with your child especially when the party is not at a home or church hall (and they are under 6). I have three children and made a fatal mistake with my first DD was 5 1/2 and was very confident (still is) - party was at a venue which caters for all ages . Left her because she wanted me to go came back early and found the children running all over the place in and out of the toilets (also being used by the other paying public) where were the parents getting drunk in the bar.

Not all people with children are responsible and I think until your child is able to know how to handle themselves then you should stay with them especially if you know nothing about the parents.

It would take just one incident (ie Madeline McCann) and then all parents would be required to stay at party venues. These parents aren't first aider trained, cleared by the police ( could be on the sex offenders list etc) etc. Apart from them having a child your child knows some parents you know nothing about!
Worth thinking about!

Well, I can confirm that none of us are on the sex offenders list! :eek:

Don't worry, I know what you are getting at. No offence taken

Actually, this thread has turned into quite the eye opener for me. Although these days I have an office job, one of the most enjoyable things I ever did was to spend a year working as an outdoor pursuits instructor, with children from the age of 6. I dread to think what some of the parents would've thought of me throwing (not literally) little Johny off the 30ft abseil tower, giving him an air rifle or letting him loose on a quad bike. :rotfl: (One would hope that they read the brochure!)

Oh well, maybe some won't come. Very MSE.