Birthday party - parents expect to come too?

Strapped

Having read the other thread where someone was being asked to pay for their child to attend a friend's birthday party, I thought that I would gather views on another dilemma that has recently come up for us.

My son's birthday is in a couple of weeks and he wants to have a party. He will be 6. Our house is not really big enough to throw a kids' party in, well not if we were to invite all the children in his class (there are 15 including my son). We wanted to invite the whole class to be fair and avoid the politics of "who's my friend" and children feeling left out.

My mum and my sister want to come, and my sister will be bringing her 3 children with her too.

Most of the "party venues" around here charge around £10/child and we couldn't stretch to that with the above numbers. However, we have decided to take the kids to a local adventure park which has a big indoor soft play centre where there is also enough seating to be able to picnic, and take food/cake/balloons. The entrance to the park is quite cheap in the winter, so we will be able to afford it if all the children accept their invitation (and myself, hubby and my sister will be able to get in free - my mum is happy to pay her own entrance).

We are planning to offer that parents drop off/pick up at our house and ferry the kids there in all our cars.

However, when I mentioned our plans to the mother of one of my son's best friends, she said that another child had had a similar birthday party last year, and several of the parents were really put out that THEY were not invited along - or if they had come, they would have been expected to pay their own entrance.

We can't afford to pay for parents to come too! I thought that 4 adults looking after up to 18 children was an adequate ratio (and frankly, would've thought that parents might enjoy a couple of hours break ).

What do people think - is it unreasonable to make it clear that the invitation is to my son's FRIENDS? I have no objection to any of their parents coming along (in fact, it would be a help but we would manage without). If your child was invited and the drop off was at our house, would that make it clear?

Who knew there was so much politics!

novagirl

Whenever I went to a party when I was little, I wouldn't have wanted my mum or dad there with me! It's a party for the children to celebrate their friend's birthday...not for the parent to go with with them in my opinion.

With parents like that, I possibly wouldn't even offer taking their children in your car. I'd ask them to drop them off at the actual venue

bunty109

I think it's pretty clear that you don't consider it nevessary for parents to attend. However, I know kids of a lot older than 6 who expect their parents to accompany them to parties and a lot of parents who forster this idea (not sure if it's the child not wanting to let go or the parent).

I'd leave the invite as it is and if any parent wants to come along say that you can meet them there.

System

Whenever my kids (in their younger days) where invited to parties like this, it was expected that I would drop them off at the venue. If I wanted to stay (or the distance made it impractical to leave and then return to get them) it was up to me to pay my own entrance.

The party is for the children, what the parents do is up to them.

Kimberley

Whenever my kids have parties my sister, niece, mum or brothers can come if they want, they are always invited. My kids love seeing them. It doesn't matter if we have the room or not, we make do, they are family. It's nice to look back at family parties in the photos.

Oh just read back, you mean the parents of the children who are invited Ok well, then yes i wouldn't expect them to stay, but maybe some do if they don't know the hostess. A mum once said to me that she has to stay because she wants to know who her child is in the company off.

MrsE_2

Kimberley wrote: »

Whenever my kids have parties my sister, niece, mum or brothers can come if they want, they are always invited. My kids love seeing them. It doesn't matter if we have the room or not, we make do, they are family. It's nice to look back at family parties in the photos.

The poster is inviting her family, its just the 30 or so parents of children in the childs class she doesn't want to pay for.

Kimberley

MrsE wrote: »

The poster is inviting her family, its just the 30 or so parents of children in the childs class she doesn't want to pay for.

Thanks, yeah well in that case if the parents want to stay, i would say that i'll pay for the children but they would have to pay for themselves otherwise it would cost a fortune. That is fair.

Bonaventure_babes

Hi strapped. I think it should be clear to parents that the invite is for just the children.I had this happen once where a set of parents insisted on bringing their child to the venue and had another sibling along too.I didnt pay for them or the xtra child.If a parent isnt happy who they are leaving their child with they shouldnt let their child go to the party.These parents knew I have my police checks done as i work with children so trust shouldnt have really been an issue.i really think a lot of it is nosiness...see wot others are at and providing and try to top it at a later date.:mad:

Keeping_Positive

At six very few kids would need or want their parents about. I wouldnt expect someone to pay for me if I was with my child (not going to happen as mine ignore me as soon as they go in!!).

I dont understand the parents that were apparently "put out". If you do get anyone whos not happy just remember them for future years. Party numbers tend to get smaller as they get older. Either that or the parents cant face another large party:p .

patchwork_cat

At 6 you will get a mix of parents that want to stay. It is unusual to have a parent ferry the children to the venue at that age - more usual in the 9/10 +bracket. With the ferrying you have the seperate issue of booster seats ( I know only occasional journey emergency, but still). Much better if you let parents bring the kids to the venue if they want. offer to ferry and see what response you get.

What about meeting those that don't want to ferry at the entrance to the park? I am sure that if any parent wants to stay they will understand that they pay their own way. On the invitation it will say can Jimmy come to the party not can Jimmy plus his mum!

Partys are one of those things - I find it VERY annoying when a parent decides to stay with a smaller sibling in tow! I suppose some parents can be very ignorant and you may get one or two, but most will understand that you aren't paying their entry.

Strapped

The issue with meeting at the venue mainly is that the play barn is not at the entrance, so parents would not be able to bring their kids right to the barn; we would have to all meet at the entrance and I didn't really want to have a load of kids standing about in the cold/wet if one or two are late showing up. Whereas if they meet at our house, they can wait in the warm. Hmmm, I shall have to give it some thought - maybe I could wait at the entrance for stragglers - although we need a min # in the group to get the free adult passes. Maybe I will check with the park to see whether it's possible to buy the entrance tickets in advance to save messing about on the day. Although it's unlikely to be busy at this time of year. Lots to think about!