Birthday party - parents expect to come too?

*Louise*

Tbh - at 6 I would have wanted to go with my son if it was at a large venue. It's not easy keeping an eye on up to 30 kids

Mind you - I wouldn't expect anyone else to pay my entry - that's just plain cheeky.

IWasWondering...

Round here we have several places that host childrens parties.
None of them charge for parents - whether you go to a party or just take your child for a treat.
We (the mums and dads) can either drop our children off at the venue and collect them again later or wait at the venue. Anyone not staying for the party leaves a contact telephone number.
I for one would not accept an invitation where my child was ferried anywhere in a car. I personally am not comfortable with that idea.
Also I would not accept an invitation to a party if I had to pay to accompany my child. But then I would not expect you to pay for me to accompany him either. I feel the venue should not be charging accompanying parents.
On odd occasions where siblings have come along their parents paid and stayed.
Good luck with whatever you decide - and I hope you all have a really nice party.

wishiwasarichgirl

at my parties when i was a kid we were allowed about 6-8 friends (couldn't invite the whole class, there was 30!!) and parents didn't stay. we would also have all our relatives on mums side (10 kids & 8 adults) so there was always a big crowd. we had random stools and picnic tables set up in the kitchen and living room and people ate in shifts (kids then adults). you don't need lots of space to have a good party

PasturesNew

It looks like another example of today's take take society.

Many parents have had far too cushy a ride for far too long, expecting everybody to accommodate them and expecting to get what they want when they want it.

I've no idea how you could tell thm "no", but it's a pity this shadow will be cast over what should be a great day that's all about your kid having fun with his mates, without adults.

Good luck!

PasturesNew

As for the ferrying, car seats, wet weather/entrance etc. There are quite a few adults in your party, could two do the greet/take function?

Two stand at the main entrance to greet, then when a small bunch arrive, one take them down to where the rest are. The one remaining at the doorway will then hold the next batch until the other person comes back and collects that batch.

Although obviously layout/distance will be an issue, it might work!

Becles

I wouldn't be happy about my child being in someone elses car if I didn't know them too well. The lady next door drives like a complete idiot and I wouldn't feel safe in her car. If I didn't know the parent, I'd worry in case they were like that!

Another mother with an MPV once offered to take a load of children to a party, but she regretted it. She assumed all the children had the little booster seats, but some were still in those big high back chairs, so it was a bit of a nightmare getting everyone to fit in the car. I would check what type of seats people use, just to make sure you can fit them in your vehicles.

I agree that it is cheeky when parents bring siblings and expect them to be paid in and get party bags etc. It's happened to me before and it's embarrassing when you haven't got enough bags to go round.

When I was a single parent, I had no option but to take the other child, but I always either left the invited child and took the other one away, or paid myself for the other child to play. Occasionally the organising parent has said the sibling could stay if someone hadn't turned up, but I never expected them to do that.

bestpud

My dd has had two venue parties and we have not been expected to pay for younger children. The adults get in free though. They tend to just ask if so and so can come along, if they pay for them to get in.

At the first, we had three unable to come on the day and as we had to pay for them anyway, I rang two of the mums I knew would be bringing siblings and told them not to pay. I did it that way to avoid embarrassment at the entrance as I knew there would be about 6 other children and I wanted to do it for the parents I get on best with.

The other child tends to eat some of the party food - there is always loads and this has never been an issue. They don't get, or expect, a party bag however!

I don't stop with dd now (she is 6) but most parents still do - I am in the minority!

I don't know how I would feel about the car situation - it's hard to say without being there. However, I do know that you would have problems with most other parents in my dd's year at school. They are very, very cautious and I can see them declining, or agreeing amongst themselves to take each others children! I imagine that is what they would do about the park too - get together and one adult would stay with two or three children, if that makes sense? They would then probably split the entrance fee.

I'm wondering if you could consider hiring a hall instead, and leaving the park until your ds is a bit older? They are happy to have less children and parents tend to loosen up a but too. They don't tend to be that expensive in my experience .

amandada

I've noticed a difference in the parents staying at parties thing in the time between my daughter starting to go to parties, and my son, who's 5 years younger.
With my daughter, most parents dropped the child off at the party (as long as the child was ok), then re-appeared to collect them, and it worked for everyone. However, with the parents of my son't peers (he's now 5) I've noticed that the vast majority of parents (apart from me and my friend, who both also have slightly older children ) are staying at the venue.
As the host of my son's party last year, I felt extremely uncomfortable with this, as I felt that the parent did not trust us to look after their child.

It can't be blamed solely on these people being "first time parents", as so was I and my contemporaries when my daughter was a similar age, only 5 years ago.

I feel that a lot of these parents are actively holding the child's development back, as they are not allowing the child to become naturally independant within a safe environment. I also believe that there is a partial ego trip/insecurity on the part of the parent as they feel that no one can possibly look after little Johnny as well as mummy can.

Don't get me wrong, I'm as wary for my children's safety/security as any other parent, but I also know that my children need to learn to be independant in an appropriate environment, and what better than having fun with their friends at a party? No wonder children are growing up with a lack of common sense and expecting life to be handed to them on a plate-their parents are encouraging this!

As for siblings tagging along...don't get me started!!!

Strapped

Thanks everyone, the feedback on this has been really helpful, as this is the first party that DS will have had that hasn't been just family members. It looks like the best thing will be to arrange to meet at the venue, with two of us at the entrance initially and two in the barn. If everyone is punctual or the weather is dry then perhaps we will all be able to go in together anyway. I expect that the parents will do what a couple of posters said, arrange to take the kids between themselves. We will probably still take a couple of DS's closest friends (whose parents I know well). I was thinking of asking one of these parents along, but I don't want to be seen to be paying for one but not the others ifkwim. I guess I will put on the invites that parents are welcome to stay but there is an entrance charge of £x however they don't need to stay as there will be 4 responsible adults supervising the group.

Fleago

You know what, girls? This thread has left me absolutely flabbergasted and eternally grateful that my child rearing days are now over. What on earth is wrong nowadays that a school aged child's birthday celebration has to be organised like a military campaign, with a large dose of political machination thrown in for good measure? :eek:

When I was a child, a birthday party consisted of a tea party with games; if the birthday fell on a school day, the Mum of the birthday girl collected the attendees at school and they all went home with her and enjoyed the party. Sometimes the birthday girl's Dad would take everyone home in his car in relays at the end or the Mums or Dads of the attendees would pick them up. A party bag consisted of a slice of the birthday cake. Nobody's parents ever worried about the fitness of the hosting parent/s to look after their children.

Move on to the late 80's, early 90's when I was hosting parties for my own daughter. I used the church hall and all the parents still just dropped off their offspring and came back at the end. Nobody stayed and nobody expected siblings to stay either! Party bags had moved on to cake, a small toy or something and a few sweets.

But now when I read threads like this, I despair. The pressure on parents nowadays is ridiculous; how have we come to such a state of affairs? Where's the joy in simple things? Why is there such worry, fretfullness and fear of doing wrong? Why are people so inconsiderate, expecting siblings or themselves to put the hostess to further expense? Why is there such all pervading fear about the safety of children in what should be fun and enjoyable circumstances?

Honestly girls, I feel for you all, each and everyone of you, whether your worries are about hosting a party or whether your worries are about the safety of your children. How I wish you could all have experienced child rearing when it wasn't such a minefield!

Sorry, ranted a bit! Strapped, I hope your little one has a lovely day, no matter how it ends up organised.