Mooloo's struggle with babies and bills

Savvy_sewing

My best friend came over to see me today, so I didnt do the things I had planned. Oops. Did put on dinner in the slow cooker. Smelling really nice now. BF is coming to me tomorrow so I dont have to travel today. Walked into the local shops etc, sent back BT vision box via the post office. Perused the local charity shops. Still feels strange to think I wont be going back to mine.! My friend and I were trying to think of what jobs I could do, but after about half an hour of trying to come up with things and them all being rejected becuase of either use of my arm or repetitiveness or lifting etc, we gave up as it was getting depressing.!
Night in with the TV then. Might even chance a class of wine.
I must say though that before I went out I had a parcel delivered. I thought it was from a website I had ordered a few things from, but when I got around to opening it, it was a lovely surprise from some wonderful people on here.
I am overwhelmed with the generosity, thoughtfulness and the good wishes that were sent my way. I cannot express how uplifting it was, how my faith in human nature has been restored.
THE BIGGEST THANKYOU TO ALL THE NONNY MOUSES :T I am deeply touched. x You are all :A 's

Savvy_sewing

Hello, the weekend didnt quite go to plan. Friday evening I didnt have the wine in the end. Just watched the tv. On Saturday morning the family helped with the housework, with the usual cajolling, bribary, etc etc. My BF arrived just after we had lunch. We talked, and we decided to go to the cinema. Watched Valkyrie, the Tom Cruise film. It was good, and it certainly made a change to staying in. Or a trip to the corner pub when we are in Oxford.
However the rest of the time was ruined as twin2 decided yet again to go out, under the guise of doing a party for AS. But she didnt come home until 3.25pm on Sunday afternoon. No end of phone calls and texts and she ignored me. I said I would contact the social services although I didnt at the time. I was up with BBJ between 11.30 and 1.30 and then again around 3.45 and up at 7am.! I rang her again at 7.30 and she said she would be back after she had had a sleep!! I was fuming!. My BF went home mid morning. There was none of our usual commaradie etc, and then of course I was very tired.
I went to my bedroom by 4.30pm and stayed there. I didnt even have an evening meal, I was just too tired. I turned out my lights at 9.30 and didnt wake up until around 3am this morning.
I have been to Accupuncture today, then I drove my DS to the dentist in Oxford, spent an hour rumaging in Barnardos and Helen Douglas house, charity shops. I cant seem to stay out of them!!. Bought some tights for BGP. at 29p a pair I got her 4 18-24mths and 4 2-3yrs while I was at it!.
Also helped my friend to go and visit one of her friends who recently had an hysterectomy. (Having had one of those myself I know how she feels!!!).
This evening I am going to have an early night.
I did ring the social worker this morning, and she told me that yesterday twin2 had rung her at 7.30in the morning, (just after my call then), they told her to come home, but it still took her 8 more hours before she came home. I have told them that I really do not know what to do with her. Basically they said that she must stay with me until she can get into assisted living accommodation. They do not want her to take the baby away, something that she had said to them on the phone. A very worrying time with her. They said that perhaps she could go to her friends for a week, but leave the baby with me. I have said that I am not sure that I am physically able to do that. I think an offer like that should come from me and not them.
We will obviously have a battle royal going on for quite a while!! There is a waiting list so she wont get into the assisted living for a few months yet.!
My organising calanders and shopping list, to do list etc have arrived along with the diary, so I am hoping to get myself organised again very soon.

Keeping_Motivated

Oh Mooloo I am so sorry things seem to be getting worse with twin2. I don't understand social services logic? If she is asking them to take the baby away and she is going missing leaving you with the baby, then what do they think she is going to do in the assisted living accomodation? Surely she will just leave the baby there too? And if she can't cope with the safety of her family around her then how will assissted accomodation be different/better?

The cheek of the assuming and arranging for you to look after the baby for a week? And she goes off to a friends for a week? How will that help? Surely if she gets a week off it should be for intense interevention/help from them?

Sorry for the rant I know that will/does not help you any but I feel so frudtrated for you.

Do you know why twin2 seems to have gone backwards lately? Any outside influences?

Savvy_sewing

Keeping_Motivated wrote: »

Oh Mooloo I am so sorry things seem to be getting worse with twin2. I don't understand social services logic? If she is asking them to take the baby away and she is going missing leaving you with the baby, then what do they think she is going to do in the assisted living accomodation? Surely she will just leave the baby there too? And if she can't cope with the safety of her family around her then how will assissted accomodation be different/better?

The cheek of the assuming and arranging for you to look after the baby for a week? And she goes off to a friends for a week? How will that help? Surely if she gets a week off it should be for intense interevention/help from them?

Sorry for the rant I know that will/does not help you any but I feel so frudtrated for you.

Do you know why twin2 seems to have gone backwards lately? Any outside influences?

Hi, Twin 2 is not asking the social to take the baby away, she is scared that she cannot cope and that they will eventually take him off of her!.
I have spoken to her this morning, I hardly saw her since Sunday, one becuase I wanted to calm down, two because I was busy yesterday. But this morning she brought the baby into me before she went down to breakfast so I took the opportunity to try to talk to her. I am probably more worried now then I was, becuase she says that her twin is threatening to hit her, and has hit her in the past. So that is something that I must check up on. I think I will need to spend a bit more time with them downstairs, and see if that will defuse the probalems. I have also taken twin 1 to the side and mentioned that threatening to hit her is not an option, indeed violence is not to be tolerated!. I am not sure if twin2 is lying becuase twin1 seemed surprised when I told her. But she did admit to frustration at her sister not doing anything.
I am going to come back from Oxford eary on Thursday, so that I am there to see the social workers. I want them to put some of the things that they have talked about into action. !! We need an action plan for the girls.
Biggest of Mooloo is going to help me with a chart for the twins, as with DS, and I hav some stickers now to help me with reminders of things to do etc.
I hope that that will make a start to progress as we seem to have hit stale mate at the moment.

My tax credits have stopped this week, so my funds have been reduced by another £60.05 a week. I am getting worried about being able to budget when I still havent had any electric or gas bills for this place. I suppose i better chase the company and find out why? Not that I want a huge bill at the moment, but I am not going to have the funds soon. The car needs taxing this week and a few other issues need to be addressed. Including the councils at the old address and the ones at this new address.
So best foot foreward I have 45 minutes before I am due at the gym for my first session. (dreading it, but I know that I must keep my joints moving!!)
:eek:

Savvy_sewing

Well I am back from the gym, had my shower and finally feeling more like me. Althugh I am stiffening up already. God knows what I will look like tomorrow. I go back next Monday. Apparantly I can go any time I like, and can use other facilities there, at the same rate of £1.80 if the gym instructor reccommends it. I thought I had only 12 sessions, but its over 12 weeks. Bonus today though as they didnt charge me this week. She said it will start from next week.
Tried to see someone at the council about my benefits but not able to. So I will have to go back. I am at the Oxford council for the same sort of thing still trying to sort out my last house. The joys of working with Civil servants is just ......Wonderful, not.!!
(Sorry to those of you who are good, but how do you cope with idiots working along side you!!).
Time for lunch. Will undo the good I just did I suppose.

SuziQ

About the assisted housing,I used to go into some units when I was health visiting. It was amazing that some girls who would do s*d all at home with mum knew there was noone to fall back on in AH so they would get on with it. I do wish you could have a huge dose of good fortune Mooloo!

Keeping_Motivated

Mooloo wrote: »

Hi, Twin 2 is not asking the social to take the baby away, she is scared that she cannot cope and that they will eventually take him off of her!.

Oh sorry Mooloo I completely got the wrong end of the stick. How awful is it then that she isn't coping but is scared they will take the baby but yet they are not forthcoming with the help :mad: Would parenting classes help her?

Savvy_sewing

I am hoping that there will be some parenting classes attached to the centre in Daventry that they are talking about. I will be discussing it with the workers tomorrow. I am off to Oxford today, to try and sort out the council there. See my BF and will be back in the morning to see them. Biggest of Mooloo's will keep an eye tonight.

Biggest*of*Mooloos

Im still around - although i get it all first hand no so dont need to spy - tho there are a few things you forgot to tell me tho xxx hehehe xx all is well here so enjoy your night off - spag bog for dinner by twin2 !!! DS has done bins and recycling without me having to ask, (i just kinda looked at him) the bomb that went off during you leaving and me getting home has now been cleared so fingers crossed (and im wishing here) that it looks half as decent when you get back xxx Things are on the Up - you have to be more positive Mrs. Negitive!!!!! xxx LYL xxx

Savvy_sewing

Well this is the first chance I have made for myself to get on the computer. I went to Oxford and I hope have now sorted out the Council there. We wait for the results. I had to write a letter from the landlord with the information they needed and leave it for him to sign and foreward, so if he doesnt get his money any time soon its all down to him not responding. I thought it was a cheek that he didnt write it himself!.
I went to sleep for about 3 hours when I got to BF and woke up when he got in from work. He cooked my tea and I rested. I also got a lovely cup of tea in bed before I had to get up and leave to get back for the Social ladies. Who again were an hour late. (They never leave enough time between people!).
They still have not forewarded the relevant paperwork, apparantly there is a bit they still need to finish, to send to the place in Daventry. The referrel to New Horizons, was also a work in progress. ....:mad: How inefficient are they? Or an I just expecting too much. They did give twin2 a good talking too, and have also told her that she has got to listen to me, and stop acting like a 12 year old wanting her own way.! She has subsequently been quiet, but has now got a heavy cold (again), so has not moved out of the chair much.
Twin 1 has on the otherhand prjogressed quite considerably this week, and has taken to doing the jobs on the chart without my having to rant and rave, and even doing a bit more than asked.
As Biggest of Moo said, twin2 did cook dinner the day I was in Oxford. But since not a lot has happened. The other grandparents have just picked BBJ up and will return him tomorrow night about 7pm. All fed and ready for his bed. ( I am now doing the organising directly with the granddad! Makes for an easier transition.).
DS is going to Oxford with me today, and staying with one of his friends. He wanted to go last night, but I said no as it would cost me another £6 odd on the buses. So he sulked but tough.
I have had good news, in a way. I received a check from the Tax Credits for £227!! I rang to check if it was right as they had stopped my money last week, and the man said that they pay for 4 weeks worth after the claim has ended. (In other words they have been paying in arrears!). Anyway it came in very handy to tax the car.
I had to go to the Hospital with Big of Moo, just to check that her Eye is now OK, and then we went to the DVLA office in town. I managed to get the car tax done there and apply for a new log book. They didnt charge me the £25 I was expecting so that also makes a change.
Hanging around the hospital and then going on to other things, I didnt have my lunchtime tablets until about 4pm, and I was wiped out for the rest of yesterday. Twin1 cooked mince and potatoes, and it was very nice indeed.
My P45 has arrived, so I have to send that of to the ESA and then apparantly I will receive £60.50 a week, paid fortnightly (in arrears of course). So when I get back from Oxford it will be a serious look at the budget, and every penny that I have at the moment will be scrimped (I hope) for the major bills that I have not had yet. I definately will need to read the meters and see if I can calculate what I am expecting. Mean while as I was paid money that I didnt expect I am going to send it all to my Mum for Saving and I hope that I can now have my £1,000 slush fund. So I am feeling a bit better at the moment. Least have car on road for 6 more months anyway. :T
Think all the good luck vibes have reached me this week.!! Thanks :j