Mooloo's struggle with babies and bills

Savvy_sewing

shaz_mum_of__2 wrote: »

Mooloo

Is there a childrens centre/sure start centre near you

Ours offer all kinds of activities and i worked there too they do cookery lesssons ,stay and play sessions singalong with your kids sessions and trips and an allotment plus training with a creche provided for parents/carers

Worth a look

been absent due to sickness as well as the spondylosis doc thinks i have kidney stones too!!

Take care

Shaz

Hi Shaz, sorry to hear that you have been ill. The spondylosis is enough to have to deal with without problems with your kidneys!! Thinking of you.
Unfortunately there isn't a Sure start here, (we did have one in Oxford), there is a centre of some kind in Daventry, (a nightmare to get to if you dont have a car) that the social workers are supposed to be referring the twins too. Thats supposed to be able to pick them up and do all sorts of things with them..,but we are still waiting for the referral.

lolababy

Hi sorry everything is going so slow with ss services. A good idea would be to put things down on paper. Write a letter saying that your still waiting for things to be put in place. You can bypass the social workers and write to their superior. This usually gets things moving. If that does not work you can write direct to the director of social services . Tell them that its putting undue pressure on you and your family and that you dont know how long you can continue.
This might sound drastic but if they can drag their feet they will. Its the same old [those that shout the loudest get the help].
Iv worked on child protection and also been involved with a family member so I know how the system works.
Its frustrating and exhusting and I dont envy you.

Savvy_sewing

Think life was sent to try us sometimes!. I think that thats good advise though. I really need to find out names of superiors and get them on to the case.! I do feel as though I am a very small fish in the sea and the net is not small enough to catch me up, we keep slipping through. That seems to have always been the way. I suppose becuase I have battled along on my own for the majority of the time, the system thinks that I am able to cope. Well I suppose in a way, I am coping, but to me its just not coping very efficiently.!
I am tired. I feel like a punch bag at times. Mediator between all the members of the family, and the not so family.! I suppose its hard to prove to outsiders that there are problems with the twins, becuase they can do things, when supervised, and reminded!. The problem is if they are not reminded things just dont get done.

shaz_mum_of__2

The problem with all these agencies is that they don't do joined up thinking....or communicate.........as agencies come and go there is usually no registry of all the help in your area and the social workers etc are supposed to signpost yo to someone who can help...........they can only do this if they know about the other services in the area

I am not anti social workers in fact i think they get the sharp end of the stick and know from experience the caseloads are huge i think lolababy is right shout up and be heard also is there a support group you could join (single parents,autistic society, etc)

I feel a bit better today but think uni will have to wait til monday

Shaz

lolababy

Hi have you tried the carers center.If you go on the oxford carers website it will tell you what they do. We have one near us and they provide outreach support to carers, courses,advocacy and they know how you can access services.

Savvy_sewing

lolababy wrote: »

Hi have you tried the carers center.If you go on the oxford carers website it will tell you what they do. We have one near us and they provide outreach support to carers, courses,advocacy and they know how you can access services.

I no longer live in Oxford, but I will see if Northamptonshire has the same. I have been trying to access various things suggested, but so far, the services have not been in place with in our area. But I will keep looking. Mencap were unable to help me as there was nobody in the area, and they could not suggest anything.

lolababy

Sorry my fault for not reading your location. My mum lives in Northamptonshire. Not the best place for services.

Savvy_sewing

Well my Dad has a 4 x 4, so he came and took me to the local tesco. Everybody had the same idea!. I couldnt really rely on Mr A to deliver tomorrow and the amount of bread and milk we are going through is astounding.! Mind you we also have at least one extra mouth to feed (again) one of DS's friends has been thrown out by his Step Mum and Dad, and he has been here with us since Thursday. It doesnt look like he has made it up with them as yet.! ( I did contact the council but that of course is quite a long process. The lad is 17 and at college). Well he would have been if it hadnt snowed. He seems to eat a lot of bread/toast and Jam. We are on the third jar of jam!! Normally the stuff is thrown out as it goes mouldy. No change at the moment.
Father of BBJ is in a bad mood and blaming me, as the buses are not running and he cant get her. He has been on the phone slagging me off!! Becuase I moved away from Oxford. Doesnt think his drug taking or violence has anything to do with it of course!.
I havent managed to see my BF since last weekend, as I couldnt get my car out of the drive, I still cant as I am on a slope, and I dont have a spade to dig the car out. Currently under about 8inches of snow. Looks funny cos the ground under the car is so clear, seeing as I havent moved it.
The bush at the front of the house has toppled over onto the front of my car, with the weight of the snow.
Biggest of Mooloo has had to work from home this week. She is working away downstairs in the office at the moment.
Becuase I didnt know Dad was going to be able to take me shopping, I didnt have proper list, although I did have a starter list that we have now got on the fridge. Things that the kids finish. They are getting the hang of writing it on the list. Mostly anyway.
Proplem is I spent £73.68! If Mr A does decide to delivery my order tomorrow we will be pretty well stocked up with meat and nappies now!!.
The Chilli that I made last night, following (roughly) a J>O. recipe, was gussled down by DS and his mates. There was an empty pan on the stove this morning.!! We had about 7 teenagers in the Garage/den last evening. As its got the heaters in, I reckon my electric meter must be going around faster then the supermarkets! I still havent dared read it! I really must be brave and go out and read it! The telephone bill at £153 was a big shock! Something I am going to have to stamp out.! (Maybe remove the extension from downstairs so that they have to use the one in my room,).
Right time to have a bit of a search on the net for whats in Northamptonshire.

Savvy_sewing

Typical, Mr A managed to get through yesterday afternoon, and so I have run out of room in the fridges, freezers and cupboards.The fridge in the garage is full of bread as there was no room to freeze it. Having said that I have enough main meals stock for the rest of the month. I did a menu plan last night, and we will easily have 20 main meals for us all.
My BF came over to see me on Saturday when the snow was starting to thaw on the roads. Yeserday he helped try to dig my car out. As the sun doesnt come onto the parking area out the front the snow had not started to melt. We even had to push his car up the drive as all he got was wheel spin. (He has a small car, I have a people carrier, there is no way of trying to push mine out!! unless hercules helps.)
DS ignored me and I found out this morning that he and his friend slept out in the garage, so I am going to have to take the heaters and the extension leads out of there! That will stop them ignoring what I said!.
My accupuncture is tomorrow, but I am supposed to go to the gym at lunchtime today. However my arm and neck are bad today. (Clearing the snow yesterday off of the bush, lifting babies etc all took its toll on me and I had to go and liedown flat last night.)
We had another heavy downpour of snow last night, so all the drive/car etc that we dug out yesterday is covered all over again. The school is closed so DS doesnt have to go. Yet more time missed before his GCSE's. He is not a self motivator to study, so we have a battle on our hands to get him to study when not at school.
Biggest of Mooloo is going to attempt to go to work. Once she is out of our road its main roads that should be clear by now. Least I hope tht they are. She is missing her BF and it really hit home yesterday that it looks like he is not going to come back. What can you say to a broken hearted daughter? I know how you feel, just doesnt seem to be enough.
I am sitting in bed witht he laptop, but my neck is telling me that the angle is not right, trying to look through my bifocals is making me tip my head the wrong way, and my nerves etc are being pinched too much. Left side going numb so time to stop for a while until I get the laptop back on to the table.
Ah post man just got through!.

minimoneysaver

Can your son and his friends not help out with clearing the snow?