Mooloo's struggle with babies and bills

Savvy_sewing

Well I am struggling, and thats the truth.
I cant get my head around my home at all. I dont feel at ease here at all.
The twins are out tonight, so I am here and babysitting. Been a bit of tooing and froing up the stairs to the different babies, while I got them down, but they are asleep now. Fingers crossed.
Both the mums are out watching a "rush" of the documentrary that they are just finished recording for the BBC. (Well I think its the BBC its going to be on). I shall cringe at the thought of it.
They have been going to the Family Centre locally, and got involved, via Connextions, for filming them with the babies. (The dad of BBJ also was there). The connexions people told us at the Social Services meeting the other day. Seemed strange that Twin2 was close to the Dad etc, and the connexions woman had thought that they were still a couple. But she noticed unease at the meeting and asked a few questions after.

Savvy_sewing

I am sitting in the middle of a mess, can hardly move in my room for all my junk. For the last two weeks I have just dumped things in here and tehn I have walked away. I am amazed at the mess that I have generated when I tell the twins and DS off for the mess in the rest of the house.
My heart is just not in it at all.
I have spent the last three nights at my BF's as I cant face it here. But I have got to face it. I doubt that I will ever know the perpertrator of the theft of my stuff, but I cant help worrying and wondering who was it?
I have decided that I must change the room around. Even maybe redecorate it. But if I do that then I will have to stay here and not go to BF/s when I have my free time. The thought of that is terrifying!. Irrational I suppose but there it is.
I am still waiting for the council to get back to me about how much rent I am to pay.. They are so slow.
I am also going to have to insist that the landlord gives me bank details to pay the money into as I am not going to be withdrawing so much cash to carry around to pay him. £300 odd was bad enough before. This time the estimate is over £800 to pay. ...

Savvy_sewing

Twins are on the way back, so they say. Both the babies are asleep.
I still havent moved from the computer and the sofa.( other then to check on them)
I was planning to do quite a bit, but I am struggling with my arm/neck and hip. Wet weather mixed with the lack of tablets. I forgot to order more, and thought that I had some of them at BFs but I didnt.
Tomorrow is physio exercise in the gym. Its going to be rather hard going tomorrow.
Once the girls get in tonight I am going to bed. Tomorrow BF goes to football so I will be here at home again. So I hope if I have any energy left I will start on here. That being the sitting room. I think that I will measure the sofa and the sideboard and see if I can move them around. (with help of course). Then I will sort out some of my throws and I will look to see if I can spend a little of my hard earned cash on changing the landlords curtains, so the room looks a lot different. I hope that that will help me to relax as I cant relax at the moment.
I am usually able to fight back from my depression and I am usually able to talk myself into a positive mode. This has taken the wind out of my sails and we are two weeks down the line and I still feel as if my soul has gone along with my purse and the perpertrators shadow.

Savvy_sewing

Focus focus, etc etc. been reading Hypno's thread, that usually motivates me. Just some home nothing is anymore. Will sleep on it, and see if tomorrow can help. My parents have landed back on good old blighty. They will be home tomorrow. My brother is apparantly now buying a house in France, so he will be joinging my sister. I feel as if I am being left behind!! Perhaps thats the problem with me. I am beginning to feel as if there is no back up left for me here. Twin1 has been insufferable and has been going out when I said not to, and the pair of them are relying on me to bail them out when they run out of funds.
DS has gone to Wales to his friends for the week. Biggest of Mooloos has gone to Ibiza for a few days.
Twins are back now i can go to bed. Night night.

Js_Other_Half

Do try and get a decent nights sleep.

xx

Savvy_Sue

Mooloo, first of all a belated many happy returns, I've been away.

Then, I am very glad you have told the house guest to go, and please be firm about that and do not let her stay again. You are storing up problems if she or anyone else starts staying over on any kind of regular basis.

Rather than replacing all the locks with new ones, could you swap them around to confuse anyone who may have keys? Don't know if that's possible for you, depends on fitting, but might be a lot cheaper.

And I was glad to read that you'd done just your own washing. More of that! And if they leave messes, can you move it to THEIR rooms? Pile of dirty plates on a bed might get the message across. If it's not too difficult to carry them upstairs ...

Did your son take GCSEs this year? If not, has any thought been given to whether it's in his and the school's best interests to go back next year? He may not be able to leave, but is there a vocational course he'd rather be doing?

Savvy_sewing

Morning,
Trying to focus and be a bit more positive and proactive.
To tell the truth, I have been trying to turn my back on it all. I got so low that I wanted to walk away from here and not come back. If I had had access to my savings I think I would have disappeared quite easily. But thats not the answer is it.?
At the last social services meeting over BBJ and his mum, it was highlighted that I was at the end of my tether and they said that they would try to put more help in place, but they didnt know what they can access. As a senior social worker I would have thought that 8 months down the line they would have been able to research and find a way to help me?
I have for so many years been the one to try to help myself, that now that I can't its difficult to cope with.
Saturday night my twin1 went out as soon as I had left for the BF's, and at 1.15 in the morning I had twin 2 on the phone complaining that she had both babies up and twin1 was ignoring her calls, she had been calling and calling her. twin1's attitude was that she didnt care and that if I wanted to throw her out she would be able to get a place of her own?
That sends both signals through me, that she has no regard for me or my wishes, that she will leave and I will get my sanity back. But to be honest I think I would love it if she was coping and had her own place, but shes not coping. I fear that the social will interviene with her baby and she could even loose her if she doesnt buck up and do everything.
I have told them last night, that I have paid for the last lot of nappies etc yesterday. That they must get thier money sorted out. I have offered to help, I used to have it paid to me and I could dish it out to them as they needed it. But they have just gone and opened thier own other accounts to by pass me?
My son has another academic year to go. He is 16 in January. Will do his GCSE's in May/June next year. He just did his mocks, but the results are not out. I know he is very far behind, and that he was even skipping his college work, and yet thats what he wanted to do, engineering.
I fear he will leave with limited skills. I fear that I will get a knock on the door one of these days and it will be 2 policemen I open it too.!! He lies as to where he is, and then I have absolutely no idea where he is or what he is upto.
One of the things about his father that was the straw that broke the camels back, and made me kick him out, was his continued lying. Now his son and the twins are much the same. Only Biggest of Mooloo's seems to be the normal, open and enthusiastic child/ Well shes an adult now too.
I have to go to work now.

Keeping_Motivated

Hi Mooloo didn't want to read and run... Not much I can say except I am so sorry you feel so low. It sounds like you were doing everything you could for all of them and finding it hard but willing to carry on but after the robbery its almost like a kick in the face after all the efforts you were putting in. And I don't balme you for feeling like that at all. Thank goodness you haved your OH to escape to at times.

Does the twin with BBJ actually want her baby? That sounds harsh in black and white but I was just wondering if she feels maternal at all and if she is actually not coping as she doesn't really bond with her or want her or if it is something else that stops her attending to all her babies needs?

Hope your physio is not too painful. Nagging again but please look into DLA.

KM x

Js_Other_Half

I know I've said it before, but I'll say it again - get your solicitor involved with social services. You seem to fall between a rock and a hard place, so no one has the budget to help you. Once you go up the chain of command - ie with solicitor badgering them - they have more discretion over budgets etc

Savvy_sewing

Well this is going to be a hard evening. I will answer your questions later if I get the chance. Just posted this on Hypno's thread, but If i can I will copy and paste on to here.
Just sat down for the first time since 8 odd this morning! I am whacked. Had to do an hour at the gym with the physio.! Then did an hours overtime.
Came home to find a few tiles fell off the sink in the kitchen, Mentioned it to the landlord when I paid my rent and he said he will come and fix it tomorrow. Then he said he will do his inspection then. Well as you all know, my place is the after math off......armagedhan? Anyway that now means that I have given myself 10 minutes to rest and then i have to go and tidy up the house. From top to bottom!! Twins have been allotted their rooms and the bathrooms/downstairs loo, and the washing up.
Me./
Attack the rubbish that the kids have layered outside instead of putting in the recycle bins/main rubbish bin.
Tidy up the yard/garden of cigarette ends that they have a nasty habbit of flicking around. Water the plants.
Bring in the washing
Tidy up the baby room and remove signs of Visitors stay, i.e. put the z bed away.etc
Remove evidence of all candles in all the rooms (Not allowed in the tenancy)
Tackle my sisting room. Its a dumping growned at the moment.
Then I must do my bedroom
Oh and the washing needs moving on
Think thats if for tonight.



I am tired, exhausted from physio/gym, and every muscle I have is killingme. I had hoped to come home to a hot bath and then just my little room to sort, alas its supposed to be all hands to the pump, but twin1 BBP is needing a bath, and bed etc, but mum is depressed and just finally admitted it. She is spinning out her dinner too long. I hear the other twin seeing to her? Twin2 with BBJ is trying to be a good mum but cant cope with both babies at the same time, when twin1 is having a bad time.
Am insisting on taking twin 1 to the doctor on Wednesday when I get my day off this week.
Catch up after the work, my alloted 10 minutes are just about up.
Start in the garden before the light goes.

Thanks for the support. I will ring up about DLA on wednesday when I am off work. Try to claim it again.