Mooloo's struggle with babies and bills

Savvy_sewing

Umpteenth attempt. I have been trying to post on here, but it keeps loosing it in cyber space.
So this is a quick line to see if its working yet.

Savvy_sewing

Oh good, so I am back on.
I am back at home now. Well I have been since mid afternoon. I watched the grand prix. Then BF brought me home. He didnt stop as he has his home and garden and 3 teenagers to deal with!.
My home looks like a bomb site, yet again. I have moved on the washing, I washed up dishes, and cleared out the bottom of the fridge. I had more veg then I realised. I have taken meat out of the freezer for tomorrow, and I shall use the slow cooker to make a casserole type of thing with it all.
I am trying to relax and watch the tv. But I still feel really uncomfortable in this room now.
to update things. When I got back the twins told me that the house guest was on her way back. Apparantly she didnt go to her mums but to her new boyfriends. People came to see the car she had for sale. She sold it for about £380 I think she said. And then she paid me some money for rent. She did offer me a couple of hundred pounds, but I couldnt take it.Even though I know that I need it. I accepted £80 off of her. Appx £20 a week for food from her. I am not happy that she is back, and I am just exhausted with it all.
But if you had taken all my money and all my vouchers, cards etc, would you come back?
I have told her, that the police think that its one of us/someone who knows us, and tht I am feeling very uncomfortable, and that I don't really want people coming and going all the time. I hope that I will feel less suspicious soon.
All my chldren are still here. there doesnt seem to be any tension between them. (other than normal). We are all a bit subdued. Me more then them I suppose.
I am off to tesco tomorrow though. To re stock the cupboards while I have some money.
My BF also surprised me this weekend with some money that was refunded from our break away. I had given him more than was needed. so I am fine for cash until the bank cards arrive, etc. (I am just so worried that I have cash on me at the moment.)
I would like to say thankyou to all of you that follow my thread, I feel so much stronger with all the well wishes etc that I have received.

Keeping_Motivated

Hi Mooloo

I'm glad it helps you to post on here, with all thats going on for you at the moment that is the very least you deserve.

The 'lodger/friend' is back, I take it you have a problem saying NO ??

Glad you got the £80 but that is backpay really isn't it.

KM x

Savvy_sewing

Keeping_Motivated wrote: »

Hi Mooloo

I'm glad it helps you to post on here, with all thats going on for you at the moment that is the very least you deserve.

The 'lodger/friend' is back, I take it you have a problem saying NO ??

Glad you got the £80 but that is backpay really isn't it.

KM x

I think that sometimes I am going off of my rocker. I find it quite theraputic to be able to write things down on here. I also find it strange at times that I am telling a world out there what is going on with my life. Except when I am writing it just feels like I am telling my best friend. (not that I really have one).
I am not happy about housevisitor, and yes I am having a problem saying no to her. she did offer me considerably more than the £80 but I just couldnt take it. I would rather that she used it towards a deposit soemwhere. Soon.
My landlord stopped me tonight and asked what was happening. I didnt really know what to say. Then he told me that the flat next door had just been rented out to a single mum, and that if he had known that twin1 was looking for a flat he would have let her have it. I said I didnt think that I would have the deposit and he said the council would help?? So he cant be wanting us out of here, or he wouldnt have said that. It would be something to think about in the future. The twins/or one of them living in a flat next door would be a good step for the girls.
But tonight I am just trying to relax in a room that I think I am going to have to completely change to make it mine again.

Keeping_Motivated

Do you have long term plans for the twins? What I mean is, as I don't know the severity of their difficulties, will they always have to live with you?

Savvy_sewing

Keeping_Motivated wrote: »

Do you have long term plans for the twins? What I mean is, as I don't know the severity of their difficulties, will they always have to live with you?

The problems with the twins is that they seem to appear normal, then somethings happens and its obvious not. Once upon a time I was told that they would never "grow up". But they appear so lucid and understanding at times that then people think I am going nuts and its all in my head. After getting to know them then people realise that I am not exagerating at all. However we seem to fall through the net. Social services say that they need help, but the authorities that are supposed to help us are just not able to.
In my own mind, I worry that they will end up loosing the babies if they go to live on their own, but then I also think that they have got to try.
If we had 3 2 bedroomed flats inthe same block, then they could have thier independance and yet we could all be together if needed.? Does that sound daft.?:rolleyes:

Keeping_Motivated

No it doesn't sound daft AT ALL. Its a mothers natural instinct to protect our children and if we know that our children struggle (for whatever reason) our instincts go into overdrive to protect them more.

You come across as a very caring mother who will do whatever it takes to keep her family together, I just feel for you that it is so stressful in the mean time. Are the girls taking precautions to make sure no more babies come along, not really any of my business but I do wonder if you could take anymore pressure/stress.

KM x

Savvy_sewing

Keeping_Motivated wrote: »

No it doesn't sound daft AT ALL. Its a mothers natural instinct to protect our children and if we know that our children struggle (for whatever reason) our instincts go into overdrive to protect them more.

You come across as a very caring mother who will do whatever it takes to keep her family together, I just feel for you that it is so stressful in the mean time. Are the girls taking precautions to make sure no more babies come along, not really any of my business but I do wonder if you could take anymore pressure/stress.

KM x

The girls have been given precautions, injections at one time,but I fear that they dont remember them. I am "!!!!!!!!" myself that they will fall pregnant again. But all I can do is ask them. Try to remind them.
I love them, but I have tried very hard not to cosset them. I have gone away on holdiays. I have let them try to live a life away from me. I have encouraged them to work when they found it, even though it was not going to last. ie. twin2 with Domino Pizza. Mind you if my purse etc hadnt been stolen, I would have been having a follow up on some sexual harrasment that the girls and the visitor recieved.
Tomorrow I hope to be stronger. I will grow stronger and I will be up to the scratch soon.
Its been a hrrible time, and I really dont think that I can take much more of all of this. But for the sake of my family, I really cant go away and leave them too it.
I will look for the place that we can have two or three seperate flats or similar. if we can live near each other then perhaps I could help them.
I feel bad that I went bankrupt. If that had not happened then I could have sold our home, or adapted one. So that we had individual flats our own privacy, but yet were able to be independant to a degree. But until I win the lottery or the good side of Mr Luck...............I am B***ered.

Savvy_sewing

I started to have a read of Hypno/s thread. She is now doing a bit of a grocery challenge That is what I have been doing on another thread. Butthat is something that I am going to have to do as prices rise and as I have no access to my child benefit, tax credits or CSA.. I have about £250 to last me until all of this is sorted out. (Many thanks to BF and the visitor...(from hell)?
I want to wake up tomorrow, in a positive mood. I have Physio at 8.30 then a gap before an opticians appointment at lunchtime. For the rest of the day I am planning changing my sittingroom around. I hope I am physically up to it as thats why its not been done for a while.
I am having a lot of trouble with my hips at the moment. I feel about 10 years older then my 47th birthday on Tuesday. Actually I dont really feel that its my birthday coming up at all.?
We are going to Towcester to see my eldest, (biggest*of*Mooloos) now on here, for the evening. She has just moved house this weekend, so its wond erful that she still wants to see us. (Me and BF).
On Wednesday I have the other physio. The one for my neck.BF is coming with me.
What would I do without him?
I love him very much, and he is the shinning light in my life. I know that he is aware that I love him, because I keep telling him,but seriously if it was not for our complex family I know that we would have been together. xxAlas!!

Savvy_sewing

Bf has just text good night, and I was surprised to see how late it is. Well past my bedtime.
Twins and house visitor (who has returned) have gone out. DS and I are looking out for the babies.
BGP just woke up. Been dealing with her. time I went up to bed. must check that they are on their way home soon.
good night.