Mooloo's struggle with babies and bills

Savvy_sewing

Had my accupuncture this morning, in the nice new shiney medical centre they have been building. Went to see my parents, they are getting ready to go away to France in the middle of May, until August, so they are busy sorting what to take and what not to take.
We went for a drive to show them where the cottage is. The landlord was just there cleaning the carpets so we got to go in and look around, which was a bonus. Mum loves the beams, and the windowsills etc. She was happy about it, and when I looked again it was bigger then I remembered. There are a lot of kitchen cupboards considering the size of the cottage, which is just as well as I have a lot of kitchen gadgets to put into them!.
The fireplace tiles in the dining room are beautiful and the wood stove, is in there. That is where I am going to set up my sewing things, and start to practise again.
Looking out from the Bedroom window the view is of a hill with the sheep. Lovely. But I will have to be careful in winter and stock up, as the roads will not be that good in bad weather.
When I got back I went for a sleep. Terribly tired at the moment.
Then about 3pm I took twin1 to see her fella for an bit, had a cup of tea and met his mum. She asked if twin1 and babyP could go on holiday to Cromer with them in May. That will be nice for her. Not sure so nice for them to be woken up by a baby at early hours.
So its all going to be happening in May then!.
Now its time for me to organise whats happening about the evening meal.

HopeAndDriftWood

I've been reading your thread for a while now, and i've just caught up. You are so strong! Your an inspiration, you've done amazingly well, and you should be very proud!!

I hope things start getting a little easier for you soon!

Savvy_sewing

I am getting excited about the cottage, just want to start to move, but still feel quite guilty that I have had to "lay the gauntlet down" so to speak, to get things done. I dont like the fact that we are walking the line though.
I get my ups and downs, and I feel that I have done as much as I can now. But it also makes me feel as if I have failed.
I am determined to stay positive, its hard going.
I am a Paul McKenna, fan. I listen to his mind programming CD, most mornings and evenings when I am on my own.
I relax, usually dont hear all of the CD, but I do believe it has been part of the reason why I have found strength again.
I have been looking into my life with quite a lot of detail, and I know that this is the only thing I could have done.
Now I am looking to a very different future, I feel excited, but scared. I also still feel the guilt. I am hoping that that will decrease when SS come up with the flats or equivalent accommodation for the twins!.
I had hoped my BF would be coming to see the cottage, but he will be going sailing this weekend. I encourage the sailing, but as we are on a bank holiday I would have hoped he would come on one of the days. Even if he didnt stay.
This is, sadly where I feel we have a huge wedge between us.
I feel he is just not interested in my life away from his home at all.
I may of course have got him completely wrong. But that is the way I am feeling.
Tomorrow I am taking my friend and her Mum shopping in the morning, (DAd is in Respite care for the day). then I have my Jobcentre meeting.
My Medical will not be until the 13th May. So I will still have to live on the £60.50 for a while longer.
To be honest its another £40.99 as I am getting tax credits, but only until DS leaves school. So maybe another 5 or 6 weeks.
But once DS leaves school, I am going to be on the crazy ESA amount.
No acknowledgement from the DLA application. But I still doubt I will get that yet.
Different opinions about whether I am or am not eligable for it. So I will wait and see.
Now I am going to get some sleep, as I am exhausted. The new medication I am on is really making me so very tired.!

Savvy_sewing

Have had a bad day today. My own fault, I dashed out of the door at 9am and had forgotten to take my tablets, and only had the gabapentin in my handbag.
I drove, (with my arm strap on) to Northampton, and went around the tesco stores there, with my friend and her Mum. By the time we had got around I was struggling!.
When I came home I had to go straight to bed, I am in agony. I did take the missing tablets first, but I am feeling sick with the pain.That will teach me to do things out of routine!.
I have a stinking headache, and cant seem to shift it. I hope that it will go soon its so dibilitating.
Only two more days till I get the keys to my cottage! Yipee. Wonder how much help I will manage to get from the family, as there hasnt really been much so far!. Ah well only a short time and the situation will be totally different.

Savvy_sewing

PS, the jobcentre rang and cancelled my back to work interview, as they were over booked. Now if I had cancelled I was threatened with my money being reduced> Still dont understand this new system at all.

BallandChain

Mooloo I've been following this thread and think you are amazing with everything you cope with. I am really excited for you moving to the new cottage and really do hope it's all you want and hope it to be.

I feel so sorry that you have to suffer this awful pain. Have you tried a TENS machine? My ex used to suffer with neck problems and had to have physio. He found the TENS machine really helped. He got his machine through the NHS.

I'm really wishing you all the best and *love reading your diary. *(Is that the right word given the circumstances? I hope you know what I mean.)

Savvy_sewing

I have tried a tens machine on my back, but not managed to on my neck. Mostly becuase I can never find the pads!. Or afford more!. The last lot one of the babies got hold of and that was them wasted. But I do use herb heat pads, most of the time. I will probably find it easier to get the tens machine sorted out, when little fingers, (and the bigger fingers of the twins) are not around.
Yesterdays bad day, lead into a bad night.! And this morning, I still have the remains of a migraine.! So I am dosed up with as much of my medicine as I can. Am about to go and heat up my pads, and then seeif I can relax away the rest of the migraine, before I attack the rest of the day.
Last night there was problems between both twins and thier boyfriends, and so it resulted in twin2's BF going home. (I had been getting annoyed that he has been here most of the last 3 or 4 weeks, and not even offered a penny towards his keep!.) Its one thing to help his girlfriend tidy up the kitchen or the front room, but he didnt even bother going to college?
I dont know what was said by everyone else as I was in bed, but anyway Biggest of Mooloo took him back home when she arrived for her evening meal!. Luckily she wasnt really very hungry so she had a sandwich and the left with him in tow!. Twin 2 is a bit upset, but she was one of the people having a go at him!. Apparantly he said he found it easier to bond with the little girl, rather then her little boy! Opps. (Mind you I can actually understand that as the boy is not so easy as the girl!). But as granny I cannot say that of course. I love them both dearly, but I do see what the lad means!. They will all be better off when they have thier own places!. Then the two sets of relationships can be kept seperately.!

Hobel

Mooloo

I am another long time reader of your posts. I agree with a lot of what other people have said - you seem to cope very well with all that life throws at you.

Have you tried lavender oil for your migraine. I suffer with them and have found that lavender helps - it also helps with sleep.

Hope you feel better soon.

Hobel
xx

Savvy_sewing

I am off to find the lavendar oil. I have been on the phone for over an hour and a half sorting out my phone line. Couldnt get the offer Martin Was talking about on GMTV. Still had to pay the connection fee for my new home!. I just didnt qualify as my current line hadnt been running for a year yet.So locked into the deal I was already on!.

Hobel

How's the head Mooloo - did the lavender work?