Mooloo's struggle with babies and bills

Surfbabe

Well done Mooloo - you sound so positive ! Go for it !!

Savvy_sewing

My BF arrived just as I was entering yesterdays post.
We had a cup of tea and some lunch, then after getting the next lot of washing out, and on, we went for a look around a garden centre near here, and then on to Daventry. Havent really been to the town there before, well certainly not for years and years!. Gosh they had 6 charity shops!. One was looking for a manager. I wish I was well enough, but realistically know that this time around I cannot apply. But it certainly sparked my interest. We managed to go to both places and hardly spent anything. Well I didnt spend anything buy BF spent a little on some rolls, and some scones for us to eat. £1.64 for the two of us from Mr T.!
When we were coming back the car infront was Biggest of Mooloo's. She was on her way back from her work.
We staid at home and watched TV and the kids went out with thier BF's around 9 last night.
We were up when BBJ woke, around 6.30 so we watched the grandprix. What we could see of it through all the rain out there.
Didnt do much today. Sat outside in the garden, played a little with BGP in the garden, "Kick" the ball, she keeps saying. Boll, rather then ball!. But she is coming on very well. She is a delight. BBJ was asleep at that time.
We were invaded by a houseful/garage full of teenagers, which swamped my BF really, and who didnt take the hint to leave very easily. Eventually we got some peace when they went swimming. Think Biggest of Mooloo's arrival helped spur them to move!.
This afternoon, once BF had gone I did a little meditating, and positive thinking and fell asleep!.
Twin2 woke me at 7 with my tea.
Spent a while writing my diary, and now got some TV on.
Will be an early night, as I am tired.
Tomorrow I am at the doctors first thing, then have to take DS to Oxford for the dentist at 1pm.
Unfortunately I am not going to be able to be here when the people come to see the twins about thier New Horizons living in town, as they are coming at 2pm. I just wont be back in time!.
The sunshine was lovely this afternoon, it was lovely to sit outside. Tried very hard to talk with BF, I think that sometimes there are just too bigger gaps between the way we are having to live and the way we want too. I am still very independant, and sometimes when I make decisions I dont always run it by my BF, and I think he is feeling let out, as he would not go to see the cottage even though I was so keen to show it too him.
I will have to think about his feelings better. Although financially its not up to him, I should remember that he is also in this relationship, even if we do not share everything.!
Bar that little blip, I am still feeling positive. Scared, but positive.
just must makesure I dont over do things. I have a tendancy to do that, my neck is very sore this evening, and I put that down to doing too much yesterday. But I was so pleased that I achieved so much more yesterday then I had in a while.
Still need to take the lawnmower back to my parents. Will do that tomorrow after I have been to the doctors. Then I should have a couple of hours to still do something before we leave for Oxford.
The chest of drawers in my bedroom are still "looming" at me. I know there are a lot of miss matched stockings and popsocks in there! Possibly some of that "grey" undies too!. That may be a good one to start on in the morning, after the twins have been given directions. I will just have to hope that they will tidy up, and keep it tidy before the housing people come.

Savvy_sewing

yesterday I took DS to Oxford for the Dentist. He was in the chair an hour bless him. Dentist said he was a good patient. Had to have root canal work done. I sat in the waiting room reading. (Coward). When we got back the People from New Horizons were still here, interviewing the twins.
I was not happy that they said they didnt think that they would be helping the girls, that it was not going to happen next month, as they don't know when there will be spaces. That the social workers should not have told us that they would help. Now it seems that becuase the girls had to sign the letter to the landlord cancelling this tenancy, this now means that they have made themselves intentionally homeless and the council will not help. They said that I would probably have to find the girls private rentals.. I am livid. I do not have any money left to pay deposits and the first months rent for two more flats. I dont even have the money to be able to pay for a removal firm I am going to have to do it myself!! The woman said what about the deposit I would get back from this house. I explained that that would be used up to clear the huge Gas/electric bill, becuase the company now will not allow me to go on the scheme they originally said I was eligable for!. Not to meantion the fact that I still owe the deposit back to my DAD.!
So I am fed up to the back teeth.
I have had two emails today, from the Social services, apologising for the cancellation of the meeting, and the referral to Daventry services. Then they are hoping that things are alright now.! Huh!! The mess is even worse.
I was sent a copy of the notes from the meeting.
I have never seen such amatuer notes, inaccurate notes and pretty much feel that they did not accurately record what was said when they visited.

In the evening one of the girls current workers telephoned to see how the meeting went on. When I told her that they said the girls situation was not sorted etc, she said she would sort it out, and come back to me on Friday morning!.
Frustration is really getting too me now.

~Chameleon~

Their incompetance is just unbelievable!!!!! :mad:

I wonder if now would be a good time to contact your MP as well as any other higher body you can think of to make a formal complaint against SS and see if you can get any help or support.

I really feel for you Mooloo (((((hugs))))) xxxx :A

Savvy_sewing

I think I am going to sit outside in the sun, write my diary, and get my anger out first. Then I will plan my next move. I will certainly be thinking about making noises higher up the chain. But I need to calm down before I do. As I dont want to go shooting off like a live cannon. I need to gather as much of the evidence I have and word my letters properly.

jha

Hi Mooloo I cant believe how they area messing you about :eek::mad::mad: - i rememberd you posted this on the 7th April :-

" I had a visit from one of the Social Workers from the teenage support team. Twin2's worker. She has said that Twin2's referral to New Horizons has gone in, and that the other worker has given her Twin1's to hand in on Wednesday. Next week we are having a meeting with them, the Head of teenage Support, some one from New Horizons and the various Social Workers.
She gave me a letter to confirm it.
She has said that when we leave here, they will place the girls and thier babies either in the New Horizon flats or in one or other of thier places in Wellingborough, or Rushden or "wherever". She has said that I need not worry, and that they will not be left homeless."

Might it be an idea to dig this letter out as it might be of help? If they cant go into new horizons maybe they can go into wellingbourugh or rushden?:o
I am a bit confused who said you would have to find private rentals for the girls? Why should you have to pay their deposits? They cant have made themselves homesless as they can't afford to live there without you and DS1???

Sorry i am a bit confused - but thinking of you and hoping something gets sorted for you soon

Savvy_sewing

I am just so fed up with it all. The situation is just being pushed from piller to post all the time. Unfortunately the letter of confirmation was just for confirming the meeting not the content of it.!
The notes dont normally come my way, I had to ask for them.
The various departments all say things differently, thats the problem.
I will go and see the local council this week, and see if I can speak to someone in housing. Then I will be speaking to the original social worker on Friday.
At the beginning of next week, I will contact the new team, if they still have not contacted me. I will need to find out where they are.etc. So I will be sending another email to the head of complaints, etc about whats been going on, and asking who the girls have now been referred to.
I only have ten days before I get the keys to the cottage. I also need to start to pack etc.
of course the twins are also worried about where they will be going, and \i am naturally feeling guilty that I made the move without being assured that the girls will be in a place of thier own, and not out on the streets.!
I have had the boyfriend of twin1 wondering whats going to happen to her, and he doesnt, like her want her going back into a hostel or a B& B. She started to cry at the meeting yesterday when the lady ffrom New Horizons said they might not be able to take her. As her sister is in more need then her, they may take one and not the other ! Thats not reassuring, and its very scarey.
I worry now that I have made things worse for them both, and of course the babies.
The lady yesterday tried to make me feel guilty about things and asked what help I was offering the girls when I had moved.! I said that I am not sure what help I can offer as I am ill. Then she wanted to know if my doctor will confirm that. I was so angry, its making my blood boil.
Time for me to relax and switch off. Read a bit more and let it go for tonight or i wont get much sleep.
I cant even be bothered to have the television on tonight. Its just such a lot of drivel these days. Its starting to get to me. Starting to go a bit "stir crazy" and would love a holiday but alas thats going to be out of the question. So I have to look foreward to my cottage, my new garden, my new projects and my change of lifestyle that is coming dispite what traumas we are going through at the moment.
I need a bit of a kick up the proverbial, and get myself packing. That this is really going to happen, and that the Social and housing will get thier act together and help the girls one way or another! Or there is going to be a major hoo har around here! Explosive reactions will occur if they let me down anymore.
I think that I will be re reading this thread to see if there are dates I have written down things that were said, offered or implied and can use it as a memory jog. Pity I didnt write down the names of the various workers!
So fed up of it all at the moment though.
Well I will say good night, go and take the last of my tablets, and the new ones from yesterday and lets hope I get a decent nights sleep, so i am strong enough to tackle the day ahead.
Night all. x

Savvy_sewing

Hoping that the sun shining will keep me in a positive mood today.
Had a leisurely start to the day, with a cup of tea. Then when I went down stairs I loaded the dishwasher, and washing machine, and as my arm was feeling reasonably good I hung out the washing, that I had done yesterday evening.
I have had my shower, and watching GMTV. As that is about to finish, its time to go and get the girls moving.
DS is back at school.
I thought it might reduce the number of visitors but he brought back about 6 for lunch yesterday, and afterschool even more came to hang out in my garden.! Wont be able to do that when we are in the cottage!

queen_of_string

Hi Mooloo

I'm a fairly recent lurker and first time poster on your giant thread.

I used to work for Social Services and Health in Learning Disability Services and now run a Supported Living Company for people with Mental Health needs, probably not dis similar to the set up proposed for your girls.

The scenario you face re the re housing of the girls is extremely familiar. The one thing I think I do know about Social Services is that they are better at crisis than planning. This means, in my experience, that mostly they will let a family carer keep on caring until they burn out or something bad happens, no funding can be found until crisis point is reached. Sadly, departments are so stretched now that staff spend all their time fighting fires and money is only available for the very, very worst off.

This means that telling dept of adult social services (DASS) that you are moving to the cottage is probably the most positive thing you could have done in order to get the support for your girls that they need. Services will now respond. It's possible that they will end up in less than satisfactory accommodation for a short period, but even this can be endured when you know that some one somewhere will now have them at the top of their priority list as they are dragging the councils numbers of people in temp accommodation into a bad place, if nothing else. This will mean that managers will be released to authorise funds not otherwise available.

I frequently receive calls to place people who have reached a crisis point, where the fact that this would happen was clear to everyone, where prevention would have been soooooo much cheaper than crisis, but nevertheless, crisis has been allowed to develop in order to demonstrate " critical and substantial need" for DASS personnel. Once this threshold has been reached funds become available often suddenly and magically.

This may well be another difficult and painful run in with services but I think may turn out to be the most transformational and positive one yet.

Good luck and feel free to pm if you think I might know anything useful.

duchy

Sorry Mooloo but I'm going to vent.
I am sick to death of all these twits is social "care" who think uncertainty and distress are minor things for kids with the kind of mental disabilities your kids (and mine) have. Getting dumped somewhere "less than desirable is NOT minor to these young people but can have have far reaching consequences and make them even more vunerable.
So Queen of string I don't see your post as being in the least bit comforting but just another sign of how badly young people with mental health issues and disabilities are treated-it's an absolute disgrace !

OK I'm done venting now
Mooloo I'm so glad you're feeling more positive within yourself . I'm sure social services WILL try to emotionally blackmail you and make you feel guilty. Stand firm hun-in the long run it will be better for ALL of you-sadly the one thing queen of string says that is spot on is that at the 11th hour they WILL provide for the girls-even though up until that point they will claim that they can't !