Mooloo's struggle with babies and bills

Savvy_sewing

meanwhile i am in that space between the rock and the hard place!!
I am going to drive over to see my BF this evening, before I go totally mad!.
Twin2 has been out since around 1.30 and still not back. Turns out she has lied to me as to where she was going and with who. She has gone off with her so called friend that caused all the problems since last summer, and the one who kept her out all night the other week. She did take the baby? But when I wanted to get her to come home for the babies dinner she said he had had a happy meal. Not what I think a 15mth old bby should really be eating. She also hung up when I asked to speak to the "boy" she was supposed to be out with!.
I am disappointed, but unfortunately I am not surprised anymore.!
Tomorrow I will be taking the SW's to task. Enough is enough.
Now I am going to have a snack, and leave the rest with instructions and the dinners inline for those able to eat, and go.
Evening all.

Errata

You know, we all have an end point beyond which things just become too difficult for us without the right amount of help and support at the right time.
It sounds like you've pretty much reached yours, I may be wrong and forgive me if I am.
It takes an awful lot of courage for anyone to admit that things have now got beyond them and they can no longer cope as they would like to and as they feel they should. Admitting this isn't the sign of a coward, it's the sign of real courage.
Social services, welfare - whoever, won't know someone's reached the point when they can no longer cope, the person has to be brutally honest about the situation and tell them and it has to be spelled out very clearly and everything has to be handed over to them to manage. It's far better for anyone to do this sort of thing when they are still managing a little than for it all to happen as an emergency because the person who's carrying the whole family and its problems has a crack up.
Hope this gives you another point of view. Even Batman couldn't cope without Robin.

Savvy_sewing

I am back home too a near deserted ship. Only DS who is still suffering from the bug i had/we all have had now.
The place looks like a bomb has gone off and social are due in less then an hour.
Twin2 just rang me to tell me they are at waitrose to get milk but they forgot the vouchers and dont have any money on them?
I am on hold wiyh citizens advice. wish i had hands free!
Typing with one hand.
I havetaken photos of the mess, rooms, and baby dangers to record and highlight my problems. just incase twins do manage to tidy up.
i am going into battle royal yhis afternoon.

i went to see the neurologist today, suggests ask my g.p. to refer me to someoneelse who deals with Rhuematology! Got to carry on with the accupuncture and go back in 4 months.

Finally got through to Citizens advice. Re DLA told to keep trying Welfare Rights. Regards to my dissatisfaction with the Social Services, I have a meeting next Tuesday 3rd March, do discuss with an advisor!.

shaz_mum_of__2

Hope you had some joy with the social services

and i agree with eratta you have to tell them you cannot cope otherwise they assume you can!! and let you

hope things are better soon

on another note re the negativity why not try and find one (tiny)positive thing in each day ......i did this when i had pnd and it really works otherwise you run the risk of drowning in misery

take care

Shaz

Savvy_sewing

Hello, well Social services didnt turn up. Becuase twin2 had earlier rung them and cancelled them telling them we were all still ill. When they asked to speak to me (I was at the time in the JR hospital for my appointment), she told them I was too sick to come to the phone!. Great!!
I telephoned them to speak to one of them and told them that I was fed up etc etc, that I had been waiting to speak to them and that i had a lot I wanted to discuss.
In the end I was so fed up, I told her I needed a holiday, that I was going to go away for a few days.
I was so angry with twin2.
I decided to come back to Oxford, and threw afew things into my bag and told Biggest of Mooloo's I was coming back, as well as the social worker, and my parents. Then I went down to the kitchen, told the twins that I had had enough. That I was not to be taken for granted, and that I will sign the lease for another 6 months then I am out of it. If they havent sorted things out by then, then they will be on thier own with Social Services!.
So I am taking a break. Will deal with it all when I get back.

SuziQ

So sorry to read how things are again Mooloo. I think you have persevered so much longer than most and I think the social services dept should be ashamed of themselves. If anything goes wrong -God forbid-it won't be your head on the block-believe me! They would find it very hard to justify their lack of support in this situation. One thing-have you put your dissatisfaction in writing? Only that unless you do they could deny the conversations you have had and cover their own tracks-but not if it is in black and white, signed-for and demanding a reply in a set time.
I hope the break will rejuvenate you and make the twins think about what you have said.

Savvy_sewing

Hello, well I have had my little break, the long weekend with my BF, although I dont think he got that much of my attention really. I read a book, I spent a lot of time thinking. I finished reading my Paul McKenna book, and I wrote something in the region of 50 plus pages in my A5 diary. Journal.
I have thought a lot, I have gone over everything in my mind. I have concentrated on becoming more positive, and I have tried to give myself the pet talk to turn my mind set from the pessimistic view that I was spirraling down into.
I have decided to continue with the notion of telling the twins that they will have to start to think about going on thier own, and work towards that as an end thought. It means that the family will have to be split up, but I cannot keep on killing myself and trying to flog a dead horse, so to speak.
While I was away I had a few text messages between Biggest of Mooloo's and she is wanting her own space. (Well I was not expecting her to stay for very long, becuase I remember how she was with the twins when she left home the first time!). But I am not going to be in much of a position to help her out financially anymore, seeing as I am now down to living on the Government basics. Luckily I have saved and saved as much as I could over the last 5 months and have my slush fund to fall back on. I did offer it back to my Dad, as I owe him half of the deposit when I moved here, but he has said hang on to it, until I am sorted. Well I dont actually have it, it is in my Mums Savings account. But at least I know that I have nearly saved all that I borrowed. If CSA would sort out the problems with thier side of my sons child maintenance I would be over £300 richer!!!
Both the twins have been more subdued and quiet today. I took them into town to the charity shops and the 99p store, as the babies needed some shoes and jumpers etc, and I wanted a few bits and pieces anyway. We got on ok. No arguements, and while driving in to town, I told them my thoughts. That they will be 21 soon, that they are adults and we need to get them their own homes. Put a few thoughts in thier minds that the end of mum is going to happen. They both said that eventually they wanted thier own place, and I have told them that they will have to change from Eventually into Sooner.
The next hurdle is to make this happen.
Once they are in thier own places, with the support from the system put into place then perhaps I can work on DS and myself.
Major turn around in my mind set.
I cannot go on with the way things were and now its time for change!

shaz_mum_of__2

well done on making your difficult decision

Shaz

lolababy

You have tried your best and that at the end of the day you have to put you son and yourself first. Nobody can say you have not tried.
Social services will have to put services in place now or they would be guilty of neglect.

Savvy_sewing

lolababy wrote: »

You have tried your best and that at the end of the day you have to put you son and yourself first. Nobody can say you have not tried.
Social services will have to put services in place now or they would be guilty of neglect.

Tomorrow I am at the Citizens Advise to ask them how I go about sorting out the Social Services. I am hoping that someone will be able to guide me into the right way of writing to Social and in writing what my needs are as well.

It has not been an easy decision. In fact its one of the hardest I have had to make in quite a long while.:o