Cancer, cash and carrying on

ohdearhowdidthathappen

Ugh, this heat is doing me in, I feel so unproductive. I get up relatively early to get a walk in, then I do a chore (ironing today 🥱) and then by about 10am it’s too hot and I’m sat next to a fan unless I need to get food 🫠

Money wise, we’re doing ok. Can’t wait until payday though!!

Blackcats

do you have a blue light card? Or as MrBC calls it my red light workers card 🥴

I have saved quite a bit using it - 6% off a new mattress, 10% off ferries to IoW and even the solicitors who did our wills gave us 10% off. I use it to buy supermarket shopping cards for one of my children who sometimes needs a bit of financial help. I pay £96 for a £100 tes co card - every little helps.

I think that after this tough year you should design exactly the Christmas you want. Perhaps meeting wider family for a walk and a coffee over the holiday period. Being outside will presumably be better for your immune system too.

ohdearhowdidthathappen

I do have a BLC, it’s great. So many places take it, I always ask in shops even if it’s not listed on their app and they often do offer it. Red light workers card 😂

Yes, a walk or something at Christmas would be good. I’d say overall this diagnosis has made me much less of a people pleaser. It’s almost like a politeness filter has been removed… not that I go around saying whatever’s in my head 🥴 but I definitely say ‘no’ a lot more.

ohdearhowdidthathappen

I’ve started doing the admin component of my job, averaging 12 hours a week. I’m enjoying the structure… I go in for one morning 9-12 and then do the rest at home.
I’ve been surprised at how tired I am after the morning at work. It’s not strenuous, 15 min drive each way and then chatting with colleagues and light admin. Both times I’ve then driven home and had a 2 hour nap after lunch 😮

I know treatment causes fatigue but I don’t see it day to day much, so it’s humbling when it kicks in after doing relatively little 🥴

ohdearhowdidthathappen

My youngest is in his last few days at primary school, so lots of little social events. I have a new appreciation for what people with physical differences go through day to day!
I’m wearing a headscarf at the moment as I lost my hair early on with chemo and the amount of stares you get 🙄. I’m not talking about polite second glances or double takes, but full on stares. Apart from the scarf, I look exactly the same.. I don’t look ill, no weight loss/gain, same clothes etc. I usually ignore or am over the top smiley back, but ugh 😤

Interestingly, it’s not really the kids or the men. It’s women, especially older ones 😂.

Fact is 50% of us at least will get cancer, 1 in 7 women will get breast cancer (although my oncologist reckons my generation and younger it’s going to be more like 1 in 5) so it’s really not unusual enough to warrant the staring 👀

Dakota_Rose

I’m sorry that you’re having that experience. Sometimes you just wouldn’t believe or think people would be that way until you’ve experienced it for yourself. I had a similar conversation with a colleague only this week and you’d think as a society we’d be better somehow.

I’m with you on the end of term madness. This time tomorrow it’ll all be over though. I hope you’re able to enjoy the summer holiday time together and have some treats planned in for yourself around the treatment?

Sun_Addict

It’s unbelievable that people still stare at someone wearing a headscarf when you think it would be obvious to them that person is going through treatment for cancer 😞 I think you’re doing brilliantly so wear it with pride. Your hair will soon grow back when your treatment has finished. Mr SA has two indentations in his head where he had drains when he had a brain bleed (from a brain tumour) and we often catch people staring. A little boy once asked him why he had holes in his head and he told him it’s where he had his horns removed 🤣

DancingInTheRain

Aww the end of a primary school era for you and the family then?

Your response to the stares is fabulous but honestly the older I get the less I understand just what some people are thinking in terms of their behaviour, seems significantly worse since COVID too in my opinion.

Anyway we all think you're wonderful and that's all that matters 😂

ohdearhowdidthathappen

Awww thanks Dakota, SA and DITR

I genuinely have no issue with a discreet double take or look, it’s the blatant staring. I remember early in treatment mentioning it to DH and he thought I was just self conscious and looking for it.
First time we were out together he was so shocked at how obviously a particular woman stared. He said very loudly to me ‘I think you’ve got an admirer’… she went so red 😂

Yes, end of our primary school era. Nearly 20 years 😮… it’s sad in one way, but I’m nearly 50 now and definitely past that stage. And I wouldn’t say I’m cynical asuch, but there’s certain aspects that get repetitive- the type A mums, the parental drama over tiny things etc. I’m sure I was the same with my eldest.

I’ll miss the innocence of primary age though, their excitement at plays and sports days etc. secondary age kids are a completely different vibe 🤣

beanielou

I am disabled and some of the stares I get……If I am feeling bolshy I wave like I know them 😹