Investing in Us: Holidays, Health, and the Road to £150k

debtfreewannabe321

I've taken DD out for a drive before her day at work. Bless her she must be exhausted, she was really busy with coursework before Christmas and then worked every weekend over Christmas and went to her dad's house so she's not had much downtime. However, she does have her driving test booked for three weeks time so we were up and driving this morning. I'll take her out again later on I think after work.

She asked if I could help her pay her insurance if she passes. I'm not sure how much it will cost (we are looking at getting a dash cam I've heard it can help with prices and a black box) so I've not committed. I don't really have the resources to commit 🤔. I mean....I did buy her the car. Surely her dad should help but, apparently he's poor and is only paid £3.5k after everything for the house comes out. My heart bled for him but I tried to explain to DD that DP and I have had considerably less to live on over the last few years and had two children at home and we managed. (Ps he is in army quarters that £3.5k is AFTER council tax, water and rent!)
I do have my EF but please for the love of God someone talk me out of handing it over to her 🤣 she really does puppy eyes too well 🥺! This is of course if she passes and she may not. But she will no doubt keep trying until she does so it won't be long... Her driving this morning was good she's a bit scatty like me which will go against her 🙈 for example she tried to reverse in first gear and then went oh no! Wrong gear and changed it 🤣.

Oh and also, I think I need the Wednesday off work too now on the same week I am supposed to start my new job ☹️ I hope they don't regret hiring me now. The Monday I can't cancel because I've waited nearly a year for that ENT appointment. And the Wednesday is my usual day off so I purposely booked her driving test when I could take her AND she has an orthodontist appointment in the afternoon. Again booked all for my day off. So I'm going to have to go see new boss when I get to work Monday and speak to them. 🙈 DP would usually take over for me but he's doing his course which is hundreds of miles away! Of course! I am fearing him going away, it seems every time he does some catastrophic happens or I need him to do something I'm unable to do..(dog passed away when he was gone, dog also had a stroke the year before when he wasn't here, I've had floods happen when he's gone and all sorts of other random things you honestly would think are made up 🤣). 

I'm struggling with my fast today because not feeling great after yesterday's dinner so I think I'll wrap up now my chest has eased and go and get a walk in somewhere outside and avoid the gym today ☺️. 

Oh and I bought DD £25.01 worth of petrol. She was going to pay but she didn't have time to go to the petrol station before work as it was the opposite direction. So that's out of my pocket money 🙈.

MFWannabe

You may be able to get some idea of costs for insurance on a comparison site? 

Make sure you’re sitting down for the costs! 😱🤦‍♀️

in_need_of_direction

Can dd start an insurance saving pot with the petrol costs you covered? Also, and I speak from experience, isn’t it odd that she can accept that her father can’t assist but is willing to tug on your heartstrings? That said, the experience I gained resulted in me giving in and then having to make things work.  I do however wish that I’d sometimes said no

beanielou

Do not pay yourDD’s insurance. As you say you paid for the car & sadly money does not grown on trees though I’m sure DS’s ex GF thought I had a tree in the blooming garden 

debtfreewannabe321

Thanks @MFWannabe @in_need_of_direction @beanielou
I'll have a look on some comparison sites later when I get the laptop on. DD has a savings account and I think she has over a grand In it. I just think she is trying her luck to be honest. She has saved most of her wages each month into savings and I know she earns around £4-500 a month including tips so I'm going to stay strong and say no unless the price is astronomical. Hopefully she has enough on her own though and if not I really think ex should be putting towards it not us. We've not only paid for the car and lots of petrol and insurance for her learning but saved her a fortune on driving lessons as DP has done the hard part of actually teaching her. 

redofromstart

The insurance for DS1s car once they passed was only £100 more per year than it was for the provisional cover, far less than I expected. 

daisy_1571

DO NOT USE EMERGENCY FUND FOR INSURANCE !!

I can understand totally people want to help their children,  I can understand if someone has loads of money paying something for someone else's bills, great, happy days.

But you've said a few things in your post - its your emergency fund.  That means its for emergencies.  You don't have further money beyond it and have worked hard to get it to the level its at (which isn't actually enough if it doesn't cover 3 months of all your outgoings of course).

Its for your daughter's insurance.   This also isn't an emergency.   Its a known cost that will require to be paid when she wants to start driving the car.  And every year thereafter. 

You feel she's trying it on.  Well there's your answer right there.

She doesn't immediately accept a 'no' from you.  Well there's your answer. 

She hasn't asked her dad.  Well there's your answer.   (Not that I agree with much that he does but in this instance its not actually his responsibility either but it would be nice if he gave her something towards it just cos he's pleased for her).

😆 🤣 😂   any more encouragement needed to step away from handing money over?

Seriously, she's old enough to be working and driving therefore she old enough to be budgeting, saving, planning for expenses and if she hasn't got enough for ALL the costs of driving - insurance, tax, maintenance, mot - then she can't yet afford to run a car.  She has to make do on a bus pass and keep saving.   She's incredibly fortunate to have a car that she didn't have to pay for, someone who can help her without having to pay for all the lessons and it will be great to get her licence now so even if she can't run a car for a year or two having the licence will help in all sorts of ways so is a great thing to do while young.

As a parent part of the teaching is how to deal with life, heres a time when you can reasonably stand firm cos this is life for the next 70 years till she's too old to drive safely 😆 🤣 .  Money doesn't equate to love, she knows you love her   

Dxxx    

in_need_of_direction

Your dd has an income of approximately £450 a month.  I’m assuming that the bulk of this is disposable.  If you have more than that in discretionary spends each month, maybe contribute a share of the excess but not to give her more disposable income than the rest of you.  It devalues the efforts you make to keep things on track

dawnybabes

When my son passed his test the insurance was just over £1k with a black box, gulp ! 

She should use her emergency fund not yours. 

KajiKita

I’m another voting for not paying the insurance for DD …

KK