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NST December 2025 A Different December
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Today I am grateful for Pip enjoying a local fair despite the rain- he did archery twice and then tomohawk throwing!, for easy traffic taking Pip's partner home, for a fab chat with a friend, for our microwavable bagpi and polar bear and husky and fox and slug 🤣!NST March lion #8; NSD ; MFW9/3/23 Whoop Whoop!!!4
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Another wet and yucky day, but NSD # 4 for me at least.Trying hard to feel Christmassy. I hung the wreath I bought on Friday on the front door this morning, and it does look very pretty. Finished writing the Christmas cards (I think) and will post them tomorrow, or at least those whose recipients we won't be seeing before Christmas. I also need to return a parcel, so will be queueing at the Post Office in the morning. I still need to buy presents for 3 children aged between 0 and 12, so will check out the very good toy shop in our little town while I am out.OH has been watching snooker on TV for most of the day (like watching paint dry!) so I spent some time this afternoon in the eaves cupboard in the loft conversion bedroom (a bit hard on the knees!), going through my boxes of sales stock, looking for things to take to the shop this week. Then I cleaned the main bathroom, which has black and white ceramic floor tiles which look awful if not washed every couple of days. I am not a fussy person, but they show up every speck of dust and water mark.Also did a fridge triage and made a big pan of chilli, enough for multiple meals. I will probably freeze some. We haven't eaten any yet, as I always think it tastes better the day after it is made. We finished the naan pizza for dinner, with coleslaw, salad bits and pickles.Grateful today for getting some useful tasks done
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A quick update. On Friday I gathered all the accumulated bits on the couch and then did 2 hours diving into the stuff inside the couch (still more to do but Mrs Builder and I decided it would further destabalise the couch to cut it open. At around 3 pm I dozed of, woke briefly around 6 and ate and then more or less slept through until late morning.
Mrs Builder came on Saturday, order was restored to the shower room and kitchen, several loads of washing were hung out, brought in for a spin and rehung and I asked DS3 what he'd done with my washing. We also managed to clear most of the front room floor (more to be read library books added to my trolley) and 3 bin bags of rubbish went out plus several paper bags and some cans. I have empty rubbish, paper and can containers close to my bed. I've said we may have to put together the sofa bed next week. The couch will be collected on the 18th and I didn't want to either be without a place to sleep or have the couch and bed both in the front room for too long. I did intend to go to the mall to see if I could have a walk-in appointment to trim my hair but the day was miserable and my nose was running like a tap so I stayed in.
Yesterday I was thnkfully much brighter. I was collected at 20 to 1 to go to DS1's. We picked up mum's newly widowed cousin and took her as well. DS1 had prepared a feast - a Gordon Ramsey recipe for duck with stuffing, roast potatoes and sweet potato mash, 'pigs in blanketts' (the pancetta was thinner than usual and all but disiintegrated), cauliflower, broccoli, parsnips, sprouts with bacon, green beans, stuffing and gravy. We had home made crackers with tailored contents. The dog was very friendly but gentle, especially with the children. The baby continues to cry when held by anyone other than her parents (the day before she had taken exception to her father too) but we got smiles out of her.
I had taken a small toy bat. I explained to my elder grand-daughter that although she had lots of soft toys which she shares with her sister, it was important that second and later children sometimes had something of their own. I had 2 small tree decorations and let GD1 chose which was hers and which her sister should have (a mouse with acorn leaves and a hedgehog holding a mushroom). The selection of books was also well received.
I declined pudding and went to rest on the couch (it's much too low, I fell into it and had to be helped up by various people throughout the day). My back was aching and I changed position several times to cope with the pain. DS1 persuaded me to have a small piece of cheesecake (yummy but not sure it was good for me). It was decided that presents to and from the Australia bound family (they're having a quick break in Singapore on the outward journey and a week in Bali on the way back) should be opened. GD1 dived under the tree and acted as postman.
They have bought me the dress I wanted. The girls and the new widow did very well. She has a late November birthday and had presents for that as well. I'll take my gifts when they are back, we're aving a combined Christmas/ my birthday party. The baby was fractious but refusing to give in to sleep so they went home. DS1 talked with the new widow for a long time and she was able to express some of her concerns. Her youngest daughter disagreed with the plans she and her husband had made and been very unpleasant.. In the end she's mostly got her own way because mum's cousin was too wiped out to argue.
Lots of people have visited, invited her for meals and taken her out to local cafes but she thinks she wants to spend Christmas alone. Her husband has been ill for some years but could do quite a lot for himself until this last year (another stroke, a fall etc). Looking after him at home has been quite arduous (they eventually had one carer and then 4 towards the end) but he wanted to stay at home and 'just drift off', both of which she managed to give him.
DS1 offered to bring her to his for Christmas even if she changed her mind on the day, or to take food to her if she couldn't face the thought of cooking. I advised lots of sleep, to eat when she felt hungry and take time to decompress. I said I wouldn't go round (constant company can be draining) but to call me if she was alone and wanted me to go to her.
We came home - darling d-i-l drove but asked DS1 to come as company for her on the way back. He was falling asleep, he'd got home from a work trip late Friday and plunged into meal prep on Saturday, did all the cooking and managed hosting duties and would be plunged straight back into work today - he might take a couple of days off at the end of the week when work eases off. He is taking me to the funeral (no wake as mum's cousin couldn't cope with being surrounded by festive decor and rowdy works parties. We might gather in February.
I took my evening pills and got into bed and only woke properly about an hour ago.
Grateful for family, wonderful feasts and co-operation12 -
Called in to work unexpectedly due to illness this morning, but only had to do part of the day.Went to the Post Office afterwards as planned, and to the building society to do some admin which couldn't be done online. Also managed to buy a couple of Christmas presents, so no NSD for me today.OH had cleaned the windows in the loft bedroom, which were awful, so that saved me a nasty job. I have to put back all the stuff that lives in the window alcove (mostly GCs' toys but also the old suitcases that hold my business tax records). I will do this tomorrow.Dinner will be chilli made yesterday. I will put some jacket potatoes in shortly to go with it.8
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All presents are sorted wrapped and bagged . All I have to do is write out about 9 more cards,due to be delivered tomorrow since mine ran out and corner shop has no boxes of cards,and no individual cards costing less than £1.75. tomorrow I must post last 3 cards by royal mail. Nearly died of shock when I saw the cost of stamps. I used up the book I bought way back and had forgotten just how shocking the cost is. And its just second class,£6.96. A book of 8 1st class are £13.60.So glad that the family all live nearby and their cards dont need stamps

Changed the beds and spent time cutting Mr Ds toe nails.Tomorrow I will urge him to shave which he needs badly,and Wednesday will trim his hair.Get him smartened up now I am a little stronger.
Today the nurses came to give us both covid shots and Mr D also had a flu jab,which I had a few months ago.So its been a sort of selfcare day today.
Also got Mr Ds blood test result for his 4 monthly review. All rather bad,outside of the rnnrmal reference levels for almost everything,but he had just had a bad cold so some factors were a bit off. I am glad to say that there was a little improvement in his white cells because of taking the chemo drug These cells fight off all sorts of infections so thats good news. But the platelet situation was worse than ever 546 units,when normal levels are 150-450.Mine are 250.With his illness his bone marrow just wants to produce platelets like crazy,they sort of thicken the blood which can lead to heart attacks and strokes,so thank heavens there is a medication that helps keep them in check.
Unfortunately the meds also damages red blood cell production,as a lot of chemo seems to do. His report noted about 7 areas where he is below or above normal standards,admits this but adds that there is a limit to what they can do.He takes iron supplements daily,but he is increasing fatigued and sleeping many hours a day. We keep on plodding.
Have brought down a box of decorations,will bring down the other tomorrow .Will clean sitting room tomorrow,and put up tree probably Wednesday. Have a grocery delivery tomorrow over £100 pounds, I found that there was some stuff out of date in the freezer. I hadnt been able to read the dates before getting my glasses,Thought the veggies use buy date was end of November and was not worried about eating frozen stuff only a week out of date Turns out the date was October,some had been in there a LOONNGG time. lol.
So tomorrow I clean out the freezer and pack in all the new stuff. Fortunately I still have some xmas vouchers left over that will pay for them,then thelast vouchers next week will help with any xmas food.Will be starting the new year with empty''pots'' in my savings and will be starting out fresh budgeting. I enjoy doing that
Never got the carpet washed since I have been too weak for months to haul the carpet shampooer out of the depths of the cupboard under the stairs.. My frozen shoulder is much improved at the moment. but doubt if its up to dragging the huge heavy thing around. Probably will pay a professional just before easter for now I @lljust ignore it! lol. Mr D has had a bad cold and insisted on going outside to spit up phlegm,then marched back in the house with mud on his shoes. Absolute mess,light grey carpet shows all the marks.....sigh.... My family went with me when we bought carpets August 2024,and overrode my protests that the grey carpets were impratical and I wouldnt be able to do the necessary upkeep but no one would listen to me. Typical.
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Today I am grateful for enjoying my gym session, for Pip finding the QR code so we could collect his parcel, for catching up with a friend, for some charity shop bargains, for sorting something out at the dentist, for fairy lights.NST March lion #8; NSD ; MFW9/3/23 Whoop Whoop!!!4
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Today I have mostly slept. I have eaten apples, grapes, half dead mushrooms,a red pepper and some broc/ green bean/ baby sweetcorn mix, covered with some leftover curry sauce, one can of soup. I didn't shower until mid afternoon. However I have my cards and stamps ready and my little address book which has family addresses in. Rubbish, paper and can bags filling steadily,
Grateful for sleep, my back easing off (only half an hour ago), therapeutic hot water6 -
Tuesday 9th September 2025
found one of these a day or 2 ago, then lost it (there are more if anyone wants more
HOLIDAY REMINDERS PART 3
Grief cab feel sharper at this time of year
It's okay if your holidays don't look like 'other's'
It's okay if joy feels distant
You can choose connection in small, safe doses
It's okay if you don't feel 'festive'
If you feel disconnected it doesn't mean you're broken
Your worth doesn't rise or fall with how much you give
It's okey if this time of year brings more questions than joy
You can be grateful and exhausted at the same time
It's okay to soften your schedule
Not enjoying every moment doesn't mean you're ungrateful
You can let go of expectations that no longer suit you
(Awake Society)6 -
Oh boy,cant find the tv remote anywhere,been searching al morning. Must have had a premonition because yesterday I ordered a back up remote,but it wont come till tomorrow.No TV today
Al my plans were disrupted. I planned to start at 8am,put the washer on,prepare all of Mr Ds meds and breakfast cereal etc intending to get him up and dressed etc to eat at nine.After breakfast prep I expected to clean the sittingrmoom window while I was still fresh and clean the radiator and hoover all around that area where Mr D sits and is getting increasingly messy and spilling food.Wanted to do it all before 9 am,then serve breakfast ,start drying the washing,wash up dishes and then clean the freezer now having 2 totally empty drawers plus space in another two. Only bottom drawer was full of meat and salmon fillets..At 10 would be the tes* delivery and packing the newly cleaned drawers.Then several stints of 5 mins on,10mins off doing sitting room Then prepare potatoes to start dinner at 11am. I designated 11am as our selfcare hour intending to coax him to shave. He has to be in the right mood to make him do it.
Then rests and make dinner eat and rest yet again. Continue through the day with 5 minute cleaning sessions when I am srong enough till sitting room is clean..Will take all day.
Well best made plans and all that .
I got obsessed with finding the remote. Mr D wandered down after 9,clothes on back to front inside out, to find a room from a blitkzrieg,a real mess. Cant find the remote anywhere.Done my back in pulling furniture around. Mr D was upset he couldnt have the telly on,but stupid modern tvs have no buttons or knobs you must have a remote..I took stuff out to the bin which was emptied this morning,could I possibly have picked up the remote among the christmas wrapping paper and other xmas detritus I had finished with? Hard luck then, it went to the tip! lol..By time I tidiedup and got Mr D sorted fed and medicated drawers the delivery was upon me. Just crammed the stuff in the drawers willy nilly,uncleaned..Washing is done but still stuck in the machine waiting for me to start drying them. Dinner is running 30 mins late we.ll eat about 1pm But no cleaning done at all,window still dirty with the twins sticky finger marks all over.
Self care hour been and gone nothing achieved. Like me Mr D is distractedly looking for the remote lol.Good ob I was always sceptical of those serenely smling old folks gently rocking in their rocking chairs looking out smiling at a glorious sunset,everything calm and sweet.
Chance would be a fine thing.
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Unbelievable. The remote turned up 10 mins ago. Suddenly there it was on the mantlepiece!. Now at 9,30 I had Mr Ds meds saucer in that very place and hadnt seen the remote for an hour. Suddenly there it is. Poor Mr D couldnt articulate or show where he found it so another unsolved mystery. Perhaps he came down in the night and took it upstairs. Only room in the house I didnt check because he went to bed early..Good to have it back and getting a back up tomorrow.
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