NST December 2025 A Different December

grandmanerd

Hugs dustydigger.

Well the first casualty of Christmas was the back gate. It's been sagging a bit on it's higes (second set, stronger than the first). However when DS3 went to put the bins out, he had to duck under it (post has come off and it was leaning diagonally across the gate way. I asked him to get dressed on Wednesday. He came down , picked the gate up and put it neatly against the wall, took out rubbish I had collected and sorted Beloved's washing. I've decided it's a next year problem as it obviously needs a rethink.

Yesterday I took my books back to the library - one still needs hunting down. I also talked to the Life Centre (Council Gateway) about a key for the gated alley at grandma's house. I'd looked online and couldn't find it. The receptioinst gave me the exact wording to put in the search engine. My brother had brought some paperwork round for me to sign and phoned yesterday about handing over the alley key (we don't have one)..He must have phoned me 6 times (phoning his daughter in between who in turn was phoning the solicitor. Twice whilst I was sitting in the library trying to recover enough to come back home (all the way across the car park). Any way it's not a legal requirement so the solicitor said forget about it. He also meithered about the bins, one is missing a wheel. I told him that during my extensive reading I had discovered that we needed to leave one of each colour bin at the house - no requirement for a full complement of wheels.The house sale should go through next Friday - I'm not holding my breath because if it doesn't there's not much I can do until they're all back in January. Will remind the bank so they don't decide it's money laundering and tie it up in red tape.

I have a number of errands which are way beyond me but I needed to go to the cash machine (across the car park in a different direction) then slowly hobbled home. This morning I feel dreadful, my breathing is rasping and comes with additional sound effects. I've reluctantly decided not to go to Tuesday's funeral. Will start on a round of notify ing people later. I also still haven;t done the cards.

My priorities now are to get the sofa bed made up (I warned Mrs Builder last week), get all the things out for the bulk waste collection and prepare to go to DS1's for a little Christmas break.I will need help, which I will ask for and accept gratefully..I also need to check the bin schedule for the holidays (it won't be on Christmas Day/ New Year's Da)y.

Grateful for being warm ad fairly comfortable (the magic of Vix), for knowing they will all help (even DS3) if I need them to, for not wanting to be sent to hospital. For rethinking my priorities - realising just how little any of it matters whilst ultra poorly early on.

grandmanerd

Friday 12th December 2025

Holiday reminders Part 4
You don't have to force conversations that touch old wounds
Some memories will sting more at this time of year
It's okay if joy feels like a language you no longer speak
Some days will feel hollow, even when they're wrapped in celebration
Surviving the season is enough
You can feel lonliness even in a crowded room
You're allowed to mourn in December
Some nights will be dark, that doesn't erase your strength
It's okay if happiness feels thin, temporary or unreachable
It's okay to soften your schedule
It's okay if tears come in moments everyone else calls happy
You're allowed to mourn losses no-one else acknowledges

dustydigger

December is a hard month for memories. On the 4th is the anniversary of my mothers death,on the 5th my brother,on the 10th my sister and no less than 4 other close relatives including my other sister on 1st January. There's a special kind of loneliness being the last of my siblings,even though I have a big family myself - 4 kids,7 grandkids and 6 great grandkids. Its 9 years since my last sister passed away  :'(

beanielou

Big hugs @grandmanerd & @dustydigger. 🤗🤗

grandmanerd

A bit better today - I can walk slowly round the house but not chancing going outside. Looking for all the tiny bottles and creams to ease all the aching, sore and dry bits to make me more comfortable. Since being able to go shopping seems unlikely, last night I ordered a random list of things online - eardrops, wedge pillows, clothes pegs and wise ribbon for my elder grand-daughter's present.

Back on the soup, baked beans and rice pudding diet (and extremely grateful that I stocked up on them). Food that doen't hurt and requires little thought or effort.

Grateful for a gentle day of films and books and a little pottering.

dustydigger

Well physically I'm improved. Waterworks pretty much back to normal only went to loo 3 times during the nightlol. No t much sleep though Mr Dusty was up and down all night,woke me 4 times in the night. has devastated his room,half pulled the mattress of the bed,piled clothes all over.including a huge heap on the bed,and strewn the contents of his briefcase all over the floor. Came down to find another heap on the sitting room rug plus 3 shoes,one each from 3 different pairs. 
Oh well at least he is busy and active I dread the time when he becomes still and unengaged. He is enjoying Match of the Day right now..
Tlking about footie it our local Derby  match today,Sunderland playing Newcastle first clash since Sunderland returned to the premier league after 8 years in the wilderness so the jeers and insults will be epic.Hope cops can keep it all within safe boundaries,but infantile footie fans are very unpredictale and this particular  derby match is  very tense. Hope for the  best and expect the worst

DawnW

Slow start this morning, but I have done some cleaning (and Mr D did the hoovering and mended a broken drawer handle).

Also sorted out some financial stuff, watered the houseplants, folded the clean washing and put it in the airing cupboard - no ironing needed   and started a shopping list for the coming week.

I have 1 more small Christmas present to buy, and will do that tomorrow from a local shop. I will then have the wrapping marathon. Might make a start on that today.

Thinking about what I need to rearrange to get the Christmas tree in, but I shan't get it in yet - it is growing in a pot in the garden and I know it much prefers it out there to inside in the warm!

Haven't thought about Christmas food yet, but I won't be buying much extra. Might make some mince pies.

Pleasant sunny day, so we might take the dog for a decent walk this afternoon 

f0xh0les

Morning! Ooops, sorry, Afternoon! 

I wasted 6 hours yesterday trying to do all my expenses for last week. 6 flippin' hours! Each receipt, download, upload, wait for the spinny-thing to stop spinning, next receipt, download, upload, spinny... you get the idea. 

Ridiculous faff, but it was done, and will be reimbursed on Christmas Eve Eve, and I get paid for my effort on NYE. 

Starting the new year with nobody not owing me nuffink (the famous South-East-London triple negative), and a couple of dates booked in for work, although I think booking me for September 2026 in November is a little previous. 

I went out to the chazzer this morning after coffee and politics and got a bag of gold /russet apples and pears on florists wire for £3, and they are now adorning both my tree and my banister garlands,  and they look lovely.  I know they look lovely because ..... DH actually noticed them within 20 minutes - it took him 6 days to notice the 'Wedding Fund' Terracotta Money Jar on the fireplace, so that is how observant he usually is. 

Went to a charity bake sale at our local vegan takeaway at 11.40, it was so nice to be able to say 'give me one of everything' and not have to think about it. I am treating it as a charity donation (which is was) and as a reward for getting up at 5am for a week.  They were very generous, so I think they wanted to go home, I know they were closing at 12. Lucky me. 

Today I plan to do nothing very practical at all, maybe a bit of laundry, maybe some recreational towel folding - (somehow there is only one towel left in the bathroom, lazy blighters), a bit of football watching, cake munching, and looking for my ho ho ho cos I am really not feeling it yet, even though I love my tree, I love my decorations, and I love my red fairy lights covered in pine cones in the hearth pretending to be a glowing fire, the weather does not feel like Christmas. I don't even need a coat outside. It is not right. 

grandmanerd

I forgot to say that Friday was a lovely productive day even though I was way under par. Mrs Builder came and started working her magic on the kitchen and shower room after pegging out a heap of washing. I enlisted DS3 and asked him to bring two heavy boxes to under the stairs. I waited there and put them in 2 cube shelf cubbies, then handed him the microwave (it's not working under there, I worry about dropping something when I'm shoving them in and taking out one handed. Mrs Builder washed the plate and turntable and wiped inside. Meanwhile I stacked more boxed items that have been in the kitchen for weeks.

I also put more canned goods on the shelves. I got told to sit down a couple of times. It did take it out of me but so pleased to have got them where I intended them to be and the kitchen being clearer. We didn't get the sofa bed set up but I managed to clear the small couch (some of it has been there since the start of the year). This was mostly by my collecting things and then handing them to Mrs Builder to take to recycling or put in the kitchen (garden bag, seed box, small boxes of random items (gerdening/ diy/ painting/ kitchen/ useful but non-specific) so I can sit and sort them slowly.

I have moved lots of stuff off the big couch (2 small shoppers with all my everyday stuff in) and 3 large bags went to the bins. Mrs Builder dealt with carp on the floor. I was quite exhausted and it was time for her to go, so I made an executive decision that I will continue getting stuff off the large including all the carp inside the couch but at floor level. I will continue sleeping mostly on the big couch but can move to the small couch for a couple of nights (I'm mostly needing to sleep sitting up anyway) when I get to cutting the bottom of the couch and actually putting it out for collection we will have a big clear space to put the sofa bed together next week.

From mid-afternoon I watched a film and part of my series and not done much since. I could walk reasonably well yesterday but creaky knees are back with a vengeance and the end of my spine is protesting too.

Grateful for help, for having a plan (vague but can be done in small chunks) and for online shopping (remembered a couple more things I've been managing without but will make life easier/ simpler. AS you can tell from yesterday's list I've not bought anything wildly extravagant but the velvet bedspread I've looked at for over 2 years is getting very appealing.

beanielou

@grandmanerd. Buy the bedspread. 🤗