NST December 2025 A Different December

grandmanerd · 29 November at 4:38PM

NST December 2025

A Different December

I'm quite taken with some of this year's adverts - 2 adults reverting to childhoood and arguing over who's mum's favourite, remembering the forgotten item once you're outside the SM and mum and turkey entering to complete silence and enquiring "What happened?". The reply "I expressed an opinion." To which my inner voice says 'And I'll just bet it was carefully calculated to upset/ hurt as many people as possible and get everyone at loggerheads.' We had one of them. An individual so warped they could only enjoy themselves by spoiling things for everyone else.

I'm not invested in Kev the carrot's engagement and I'm ambivalent about Keira and Phil (like watching a car crash in slow motion).

There are numerous religious festivals -we share a need to gather together with whatever food is available in the darkest days of the year. For some it's purely secular time, extra days off work or school, more time with our loved ones. It can be a temporary respite from the world or show our problems in sharp relief. Those dealing with loss, illness, money worries, imminent job loss or stress, the demands of the 'holiday season' can overwhelm us. So here's my guide to the joys and pitfalls of this time of year.

A DIFFERENT DECEMBER
A A totally personal and possibly biased view of the season of goodwill

D Dare to be Different Turtles are known for swimming against the tide. We don't follow the herd. We have a purpose - to be debt/ mortgage free, to save for the life/ retirement we want. So there's no right and wrong, celebrate however you want (might be difficult if you've already invited the hordes) but the most important thing is to look after yourself and protect your peace.

I In Iceland on Christmas Eve everyone gets books as presents. Everyone then sits and reads quietly, together. This is my idea of heaven, others will hate it. Just think about what you would like from the holiday and make sure you get some of it. My priorities are being warm and cosy and enjoying the wonders of nature and all the little joys I can find. Panda videos help too.

F Failure - not a word turtles use but if you feel that you have 'failed' this year, here are a few things to dwell on. Ways you have helped others. Memories that make you smile no matter how small. Ways you were your best self. What you learned. Favourite books, films, series. Decisions you made, big and small. Remember there are no bad decisions - you choose, you step forward, it either works or if it doesn't you reconsider.

F FOOD Don't buy anything your family doesn't like (unlees catering for visitors who love those things). No sprouts if you hate them, swap chocolate pudding for Christmas cake. One year we had 2 adult visitors who'd had a bereavement (son/brother) who wanted to be with children. We had grown up sweets but as the boys were young I'd made rice krispie cakes. The adults had those as they could have the posh puds whenever they wanted. I think it's fine to buy certain items - if you are feeding people they should be grateful, not judging whether yo spent every waking minute preparing everything yourself. Share the burden if you can. Audit your leftovers - make notes for next year. The one and only rule is to not poison anyone - anything else caan be fixed.

E EVERY MONTH RULES Pay to your debt or savings first. Budget everything. Allow for any extra expenditure - birthdays, trips to the pantomime, travel costs for visiting relatives. If you have overspent, put together a plan for getting back on track in the New Year. You don't have to buy presents for unexpected visitors or half the street.

R RELATIVES AND RESPECT If you are hosting, put llimits on it (set departure date). It's reasonable to expect good behaviour from everyone at your table. If you know certain family members will be difficult/ get drunk/ rehash ancient history, enlist your partner and children to intervene/ change the subject - whatever the situation calls for. You may need to ignore provocative or unkind comments (or 'jokes' about your cooking). Feel free to absent yourself and settle in another room with a drink/ chocolate of your choice.

E EVERYONE YOU MEET IS CARRYING SOME SORT OF BURDEN. BE KIND. if someone has suffered a close death in the year (or it's an anniversay), is struggling with illness and pain, has money worries or depression make provision for them to withdraw and spend some quiet time, grieving or whatever they need to do. This applies to everyday life as well - never tell anyone to 'cheer up' or smile or force them to 'join in'.

N No-one can save the world all by themselves - working collectively is the way to go

T THINGS GOING WRONG. It will happen. Some can be avoided by a little forward thinking (buy batteries for any toys that need them and extras for remote controls). Have enough toilet rolls. Some things that have happened in my family - cats broke through the plastic wrapping and ate some of the defrosting turkey, had to turn everything off in the middle of cooking Christmas dinner to go with dad's friend to collect him from A & E (with careful recalculation when I got back to restart dinner), brand new record player set on fire on Christmas day, very sick child spent all day in pyjamas, shivering on grandma's knee, having to stop mid dinner preparation to go and be sick multiple times (I was pregnant), neighbour's children seeking refuge (mum discharged from hospital with the wrong dosage of medicine and step- father 'coping' with a whisky bottle).
Things to help when things go wrong. Stock up on cold/flu medication and other otc remedies. When I was at college (+ multiple p-t jobs) I fell into bed exhausted as soon as we broke up. I was also a church warden so had to drag myself out for 4 pm Children's service, Midnight Mass and 10 am service Christmas Day even though I could barely stand up. The best thing was that I'd made turkey stew with lots of veg and for 3 days that was all I could eat. Try not to cook anything too ambitious. Things will break (oven on New Year's Eve just as I was about to fill it with finger food). Be adaptable. Ask for help. Cheat (Indian takeaway for hot stuff, multiple salads, then cooking things at mum's and this house (DS2 was renting it from me at the time) then reheating in the microwave back home. Make as much as possible in advance.

D Daily habits that have served us well. Continue, add to, be consistent. Any new ones?

E Ex-habits Ones that didn't take or fell by the wayside. Were your steps too big? Discard any habits and WIP that you realise were not really important to you.

C Changing Rooms. There are things we cope with all year that bother us at Christmas. If you've been on a debt free journey for a long time things can look 'shabby' - non-essentials were not replaced, everything is made to last as long as possible (if you're saving for big repairs it's not worth painting the crumbling wreck). Throws are your friend - they cover worn upholstery, add warmth. If you've tidied the house and there's stuff left over, put it in a box or basket and cover it with a cloth. Many years ago I watched an episode of a morning show where they did a 'makeover'. The family had just moved house and it was a 'fixer-upper' - crumbling plaster work, dingy corners. How could they make it look 'festive' for the children. They used a lot of fake cobwebs, threw glitter at it and added fairy lights until it looked magical. Candles and fairy lights will hide a lot of imperfections.

E Exercise If you're going to eat theequivalent of 6000 calories in one day, enjoy it but exercise restraint for the rest of the month and make movement your friend (even if it's only doing leg and toe exercises whilst swaddled in a blanket

M Memories and traditions. Film nights, pyjama parties, decorating the tree, visiting other people's decorated houses, baking together. Make your own. Take photos (better than someone's breakfast)

B Be grateful. You woke up, you can move, you have food, you can see, your home has not been reduced to a pile of rubble

E Everyone has the right to bodily autonomy. A couple of things I've been more aware of this year. If we're going to teach children about respecting what 'touch' feels okay and what doesn't, we should not be forcing them (especially if they're on the spectrum) into hugging and kissing elderly relatives, particularly ones who they don't normally see. Going back to relatives and respect, be wary of people who comment on other people's weight or eating/ non-eating habits at the dinner table. For people who struggle with body consciousness/ eating disorders these comments can wreck years of progress.

R RANDOM RULE Taking time to remember Kat who created the forerunners to these challenges. this challenge runs from the stroke of midnight on Sunday evening 30th November until the chimes of Big Ben (are they still doing repairs - the challenge may run for ever if Big Ben doesn't chime) ring in the New Year (weenancy adjust as required)

grandmanerd · 29 November at 4:40PM

Reserved for Contenders
1 grandmanerd
2 f0xh0les
3 apple--muncher
4 weenancy
5 Rowan9
6 DawnW
7 Dusty digger
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11 beanielou
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13 Chrystal
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18 Thrifty-Taylor

f0xh0les · 29 November at 5:47PM

✨️ Roll me in glitter ✨️ and add me to the guest list ✨️

grandmanerd · 29 November at 6:33PM

You don't think it's too gloomy?

f0xh0les · 29 November at 6:45PM

Nope, realistic.
🐢 are never gl00my.
🐢 are real. Not the hype, not the fantasy, just all about the fun and fa-la-la-la-la, and laughing at the absurdities of the season ( festive flamingo anyone?).