+++ Divide By Cucumber Error. Please Reinstall Universe And Reboot +++

ladybird1106

I once had a bathroom fitter who told me they had piles and the impact it had on them. They also moaned a lot about their partner and how they weren’t compatible blah blah blah. I said that’s such a shame as I have a very happy marriage. That stopped their flirting.

Love 🐞

redofromstart

I do indeed get the life story and mid life crisis, has been the case for every trade visit this year.  No idea why because I have what is fondly described by my DC as 'resting b1tch face' unless I am actively smiling. 

It does amuse me though that a couple have asked if I will ever put myself back out in the market, and I didn't think anything of it till your post @ladybird1106! Always slow on the uptake on that front. The true answer to that is that I don't think I particularly want to spend the rest of my life on my own, but I never was very open to random new people or casual connections. It sums it up that I married the last two relationships. 

Still working away at the decluttering and listening to a lot more music as a result, something I had stopped doing years ago. Regularly overwhelmed by just how much there is still left to do and to pay for but it is what it is. I really need to make myself do something about selling stuff actually or look for a job so I can cash flow some of the spending at least.

WelshmansDaughter

I have that same feeling now that I have moved back into the flat. But then I remind myself it doesn't all have to be done now and that eating, recharging etc are all valid tasks too. 
I like to imagine the stuff going back out into the cycle of use. If it stayed with me it would just be stored.
The minimalists have a rule that if something would cost less than $20 to replace should you need to then get rid of it. 
Building a home for yourself is an act of creation even though sometimes it feels like destruction.

debtfreewannabe321

I had a huge declutter before moving here. I sold so much and it quickly racked up £ £ in my bank which spurred me on to sell more. And the more I sold the more space I had. I quickly learned what sold well and what was a waste of time too (this seems to be different in different areas too I've noticed). Now I've moved I need to declutter again because things I saved and moved here don't fit properly as they were bought for spaces in the last house. I've a garage full of furniture I'm working my way through and it's so stressful and overwhelming. I would keep what absolutely sparks joy and sell the rest and once in a new home find things that fit well in the spaces you have. 
I live by that rule @WelshmansDaughter if it cost less than £20 and I'm unsure on it I get rid. However if it's an antique (I like to collect) or something hard to replace I'll take it away and box it / store it to see if I miss it before making that Decision.

WelshmansDaughter

I can't do that sadly @debtfreewannabe321. I forget I have things too easily then get excited when I see them again 🤣

Watty1

I've lately come to mixed thoughts about decluttering. I sold so much with PPH to pay off the mortgage and it was all MY stuff that now I am more settled in my space, some of which I miss and regret selling.  My family were book dealers and  I sold my entire collection and used the money to pay off a chunk of the mortgage, effectively giving him 50%   So sad.

Now I have realised a better approach is to think about what I would like my life to be like moving forwards and ask if things fit into that, even if it is just a vision. I will work on this more for next year.

redofromstart

I can understand that Watty, in my 'drop out' years I worked in a second hand bookshop and I still own some nice collectibles that will not be leaving the building.  This is more specialist tools which deserve a better fate than festering in this house unused till I give up and set the whole place on fire (aka call in some house clearance specialists, which is looking very attractive right now).

The builders are doing a good job with the specialist stuff.  There are bits that need doing before the windows are fitted, and the silver lining has to be that I am at least earning interest on the balance while I wait.  

I have out some feelers out about work but there is very little about in my field, and what there is is high stress,  full time and permanent and I know I can't balance that with what needs to be done here without imploding.  It doesn't matter how much income it would generate if it makes me ill or triggers poor decisions.  Dear universe, please send me a few days a week of work that is in my bread and butter comfort zone.

I am overthinking everything which doesn't help, so today I want to just focus on something simple that I can control so I am just cleaning.  I might want to cook if the kitchen was tidy, etc.   I have some nice smelling new cleaning spray, and I just need to choose a playlist and then crack on.

 

Cheery_Daff

How did your day go Redo? Did you manage to do some cleaning and cook yourself a nice meal? I find cleaning alongside someone else really helps sometimes - I used to use the Flylady recorded podcast, but after something like 18 years they've taken it down 😭 There are people on YouTube though who you can have cleaning their kitchen while you clean yours 😂

Of course you may be perfectly capable of cleaning your own kitchen without a crutch like that, and I am sometimes too - but sometimes that just gives me a bit of encouragement when needed.

Anyway, I hope you have had a good day xx

EssexHebridean

Focus on the small things, and tick off one at a time. Even if the cleaner/tidier kitchen doesn't lead to a desire to cook, it's still worth the focus because the environment itself will be nicer and that will improve your stress levels. 

redofromstart

Thank you both - I did get quite a lot done before I (inevitably!) got distracted.  @Cheery_Daff the idea of cleaning alongside someone does appeal, I used to like ticking things off on my list as I went along.  

Proper cooking did not happen but the kitchen is relatively clean.  Good job really because a friend is calling in for coffee shortly.