Money Moral Dilemma: How do I speak up about how shared restaurant bills are split?

Pollycat

Rosa_Damascena said:

I didn't have the calamari, so I'm not paying for the calimari.

Pollycat said:

This reminds me of the Barclays bank advert with the kids around a restaurant table where one asks who ordered the calamari.

Snap!.....

barnehurst

twopenny said:

Believe me it's still tricky.
I used to play in a quiz league and only drank a half pint. Others would be double gin and tonic, double rum and such and I couldn't afford rounds like that. I'm not in that income bracket.
I made the statement up front and at first it was understood. Then the pressure to buy me a drink and acceptance or refusal was not always taken well. 

But meals or drinks I find it's those that want to indulge the most or have the most money who want the bill split.

I wouldn't want to share a meal or drink with people as inconsiderate as that

Sums up how selfish this country has become 

barnehurst

If people are that inconsiderate, find new friends 

jimi_man

The food is probably no different - my wife generally orders vegetarian dishes and they are usually the same price as most non vegetarian dishes - unless someone orders lobster or a large steak (doesn’t often happen).  

The alcohol can be a different matter and this is where it can be awkward so often a separate drinks bill is a good idea. Though sometimes if everybody is driving and they have just one drink then the difference between that and a soft drink is usually negligible. 

I went for a curry once with some work friends and we were driving so we all had one beer whilst the non drinkers had a coke followed by another one. When it came to bill time the non drinkers said they should be excused the drinks bill as they only had coke whilst we were on beer. It was explained that two cokes cost more than one beer! A rare situation though. 

A lot depends on the social situation. If it’s two or three couples then we’ll always split the bill irrespective of what anyone has. But a single person (Mrs Jimi for example) who doesn’t drink then separate drinks bills are a good idea. 

Pollycat

barnehurst said:

twopenny said:

Believe me it's still tricky.
I used to play in a quiz league and only drank a half pint. Others would be double gin and tonic, double rum and such and I couldn't afford rounds like that. I'm not in that income bracket.
I made the statement up front and at first it was understood. Then the pressure to buy me a drink and acceptance or refusal was not always taken well. 

But meals or drinks I find it's those that want to indulge the most or have the most money who want the bill split.

I wouldn't want to share a meal or drink with people as inconsiderate as that

Sums up how selfish this country has become 

barnehurst said:

If people are that inconsiderate, find new friends 

What amazed me is that the originator of this MMD actually said:

MSE_Kelvin said:

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

When eating out with others, I feel I'm usually expected to split the bill evenly. Yet I don't eat meat or drink alcohol, and only take water with my meal. I'm not stingy, but feel put off eating out when expected to pay the same as others who have indulged in steaks and bottles of wine. How do I speak out about how bills are split without others kicking off?

What sort of 'friends' would kick off when being asked to pay for what they have consumed...?

They sound like a bunch of freeloaders.

Time2Go_25

It's not always as easy as it seems. Recently went on a works do with 7 others to an Italian. One person asked at the start to pay for her own, no problem we said. Three people shared a bottle of wine, two had pints, one had tap water, I had a coke and the one who was going it alone also had tap water. We also ordered some sparkling water for the table. We all had own own mains, but ordered a variety of dishes to split as started, the go it alone only wanted a main. At the end of the starters there was some garlic bread and some olives left and she asked if she could have them, naturally we said yes. She also had some of the sparking water with her meal. At the end she said her cost was £x whatever the cost of her main was and we picked up the rest including the 12.5% service charged. Naturally we didn't say anything that would ruin the evening.

I loathe going out in group meals, where everyone wants to try and work out what they've dunk and eaten and what the service charge for each person would be.

keiran

Just to raise another point - As many have stated, the vegetarian option is nowadays the same as, or just a quid lower than, the meat dishes.
How have we come to this situation, and so readily complied with it?
Meat eaters get a substantial meal with the meat or big fish and assorted trimmings, whilst the veggie has a few vegetables or maybe a plate of rice. The comparison of the plates on the table looks pitiful.
Restaurants must be laughing their heads off at vegetarians.
I've sometimes wondered if restaurants think vegetarians are also anorexics, or whether their usual vegetarian diners are little females who just nibble, and that's framed their impression of all veggies.

Pollycat

keiran said:

Just to raise another point - As many have stated, the vegetarian option is nowadays the same as, or just a quid lower than, the meat dishes.
How have we come to this situation, and so readily complied with it?
Meat eaters get a substantial meal with the meat or big fish and assorted trimmings, whilst the veggie has a few vegetables or maybe a plate of rice. The comparison of the plates on the table looks pitiful.
Restaurants must be laughing their heads off at vegetarians.
I've sometimes wondered if restaurants think vegetarians are also anorexics, or whether their usual vegetarian diners are little females who just nibble, and that's framed their impression of all veggies.

I can't comment on vegetarian meals in the UK but certainly Greece and India do fabulous veggie meals.
In fact, when we used to go on holiday to India, despite being a meat eater, I often opted for vegetarian.

Not sure I like the reference to "little females who just nibble".

Emily_Joy

Some years back it was a part of my job to look after company visitors/guests in the evening, which involved taking them out for dinner. The company had a small-budget. A few senior colleagues would typically join. For me it was a job, we were not friends, and I wouldn't choose to socialiase with them in my spare time. I also don't eat much in the evening, so for me it was usually a soup and a cup of latte, totalling to about £10. The visitors and colleagues would normally order beer, a couple of bottles wine, and a proper main, totalling to about £30-40 each. 
The meals of the visitors have had to be paid in full. The company budget would cover a fraction of the bill. The senior colleagues, whose salary was at least double and sometimes triple mine, always insisted on splitting evenly because "let's keep it easy". So I often ended up paying £20-25 for a £10 meal bi-weekly. I hated that. 

silvercar

I’m happy if someone wants to pay for their own consumption separately, providing they also pay their share of the service charge.