Money Moral Dilemma: How do I speak up about how shared restaurant bills are split?

Rememberscarborough

Nothing worse than fighting over a bill so would much prefer you had a separate bill than spend half an hour working out your bill then dividing the rest. Also, knew someone who always ordered the most expensive meal on the menu then wanted to split the bill. Thankfully, not seen him for years.

iclayt

You say "Is it ok if I pay for my own tonight? Keeping tabs on my spending a little more". Very difficult to kick off at that.

Personally, I think I would ask if the drinkers could split the alcohol bill between themselves, and to just be included in splitting the food. I don't think "I don't eat meat" is particularly relevant, any of the meat eaters could choose to order a vegetarian salad if they wanted to, and depending on where you're eating I don't think vegetarian meals are always significantly cheaper anyway.

Fonsek87

I'm the best eater and wine drinker, and I would never accept a friend to pay halve if he's not drinking... Even if we were both eating the same. Your friends should be ashamed.

keithyno.1

As others have suggested, just ask the waiter who's taking the order to put your selections on a separate bill. Or tell the others you'll pay for exactly what you've had and they can split the rest between them if they want to. 

I can't see why either option is an issue. If it is though for some of your dining party, well tough for them!

Beauborg

Just say: “I don’t expect you all to become a boring vegetarian and teetotaller like I am, so you order what you want and I’ll just pay for mine separately.”

alggomas

I would bring it up after splitting the bill and say fo you mind if I just pay for myself ss it is getting expensive for me.

outtatune

These days vegetarian dishes don't seem to be significantly cheaper than carnivore ones, but alcohol in restaurants is pricey - it's where they make their margins.

We tend to split the food evenly and pay for our own drinks.

emsi_b

Think of this as good practice for assertiveness in other areas of your life. Many places won't split a bill, but are happy for multiple payments on the card machine- keep track of your costs and then when the bill arrives, speak clearly to the wait staff and say- my food and drink comes to xx, could I pay that bit off now please? You can say "watching the pennies" or words to that effect if it makes you more comfortable the first time, but the more you do it, the easier it is. We aren't all born outgoing, but we can train ourselves to be better at being assertive- with courses too, if you want! I actually did a course a good while back, and it was very useful.

2702

Surprised none of your companions have not noticed this. What will they kick off about? you should be the one kicking off if anybody although I do not think anyone should kick off.If I ate a lot or drank a lot I would pay for it and not expect anyone who ate or drank less to subsidise me.
Ask for a separate bill and do not let anyone intimidate you. You are in the right and I would think that no one would question this, if they did I would tell them why, you ate and drank less, you are not there to subsidise others.

Nelliegrace

Certainly split the bill, but let the friends know before they order so they know you won’t be subsidising their extravagance. 

A friend on a cruise refused to share the drinks bill for a room mate who ran up an excess of £300+. It caused a lot of ill feeling, but as she said, “You drank it, you pay for it.”