Money Moral Dilemma: My partner eats more than me, so should he pay more of our food shopping costs?

HettyQ

Reading between the lines, it sounds as though you just need more money to be put into the household budget (given rising food prices) and he's refusing?  And you think this is an argument you can make (i.e. that he eats more).  But what I wonder is - is this part of a bigger problem?  Can you sit down together and negotiate these things?  Does it feel as though you're going without in order that he can have what he wants and is that a familiar pattern?  Does it feel like an equal partnership?  Are you concerned about money and he's not?  It feels to me as though there's something much more major going on in your relationship and it's not about the food bill.  

Pollycat

JoJoSM1963 said:

I was in a similar position with my partner until I had to (for medical reasons) adopt a low fat as well as a gluten free diet. I now cook only for myself and accordingly buy just for me and he does the same. The difference in the weekly food bill now I'm buying just for myself as opposed to both of us, is considerable. I have only just realised how much I was subsidising his extravagant lifestyle and for over a decade!

He is now living on very unhealthy convenience food (UPF/high fat junk) and paying through the nose for it. He has also put on 3 stone in weight whereas I've lost 22 pounds as I'm eating such an extremely healthy diet. So no I don't see why you should be paying half of your food bill, maybe a third is about right? I'm also assuming you're probably doing the bulk of the cooking?

Why have you made that assumption?

There is nothing at all in the original post to suggest that.
It says:

My husband and I both work full-time and contribute equally to our household expenses, including food shopping. But he eats far more than me - both in terms of portion size when we cook together, and by having breakfast at home when I don't, as well as by eating sides with meals and snacks in between. Should I ask him to contribute more to the household budget? Given how food prices have increased, it's become a growing part of our expenses.

stevefrazer1969

CapeTown said:

JGB1955 said:

You'll need to discount the number of 'excess' showers you have, shampoo used, feminine hygiene products bought on the weekly shop, etc etc..... you get my drift.

To be fair, feminine hygiene products should be free. We are women and we provide children...

That's true, and something else JGB1955 missed is that the poster could just as easily be a man with a beard! 

vacheron

Good idea. I've just reaslised that my 12 year old son eats a lot too, yet doesn't contribute financially at all. I can't wait to present him with his itemised bill next week, because that is what being a family is all about. 

He also goes #2 which uses toilet paper as well without recording it, so I'll need to buy a log book!  

velvetyfrog

The answer is in your question - we "contribute equally to our household expenses". That's the rule and applies to everything, why would you pick food out? 

Having said that, I do empathise with you - my other half loves chocolate and eats every last bit of the chocolate I buy because I fancy having a piece once in a while. Yet, he never buys any, because he says there is always chocolate in he house. It can feel greedy at times. 

Just try to see the things you use more of, compared to him (shampoo, hair care, water, heating) and you may find there is a balance already. 

Rosa_Damascena

Well I have sympathy with the OP - the husband is either clueless of completely selfish. But it is a conversation they should have had at the outset of the relationship, before the OP realised she doesn't love her husband.

retired19

Madness utter madness 

Scooby2504

Everyone is feeling the struggle of buying food right now. I’m sure your partner wouldn’t mind contributing more given how expensive food is now. You just need to have that discussion about not having enough money for it all. The last thing you want to do is get in debt and him not realising him having non essential snacks etc causing that xx

JJAGSP

Oh dear, perhaps you shouldn't have got married However given that the cost of a weekly shop has gone through the roof get him to do the shop and pay for it all......see what he doesn't come back with!!  Have a chat about the items......go to Aldi or Lidl and see if there are similar for a better price.  If there is a salary differential ask him to contribute more.  You are married....talk about it.

caprikid1

My partner spends enormous amounts of time using all manner of electric devices to do her hair, Tongs, dryers electric showers etc also always puts makeup products in the weekly shop. I on the other hand have no hair and wear no makeup, should she contribute more to the electricity bill and the weekly shop. I use 1 can of lynx every month.