Money Moral Dilemma: My partner eats more than me, so should he pay more of our food shopping costs?

ripongrammargirl

Seriously, Are you having a laugh? Did you include this in your marriage vows- he who eats more shall pay more? How many outfits, pairs of shoes, make up and other trivial things that a woman of your standing must be buying does your husband contribute extra for (unless he is wearing said shoes, clothes and slap???!!!) 
There are simply no words for this “dilemma” except possibly DIVORCE as why should you pay to feed your fella? I seriously hope you don’t have children or pets as goodness knows who would be responsible for their upkeep?
Just mind boggling. Can we have some REAL dilemmas please such as how can I pay my credit card bills which keep getting bigger because government has take away my disability benefits? Now that’s a real dilemma that I need answering. 

Uriziel

What about your make up and all the other consumables you use? That is probably a lot more than the food he uses. Does he ever fix anything? Perhaps he should charge you for fixing various things around the house.

trigidden

My hubby and I have a joint account which pays all of our go into bills including shopping, our earnings go into a joint savings account and we transfer an agreed amount into our joint current account, we use our savings account for holidays and extra spending, any left in the current account at the end of the month reduces the amount which transfer into it. My husbands drinks cider and gin and that comes out of our current account, I drink tea lol. We find this works for us, we are a partnership at the end of the day and as long as we are both comfortable with our arrangement we are happy, if you are not happy with your arrangement you need to talk about it, but you may find that your relationship is not as solid as you think it is, just accept it for what it is.

CazGreg

I say this as a young(ish) liberal feminist … !!!!!!??!! 

We really have lost any idea of what marriage is, haven’t we?! 

This is INSANE.

trainee21

Oh please. What type of relationship are you in?
When I stopped work to raise our children, we lived off my husband’s wages. 
Now my husband has retired early through ill health we live off my wages.
A marriage is a loving partnership not a business.  
Get real, grow up and share, not play the you spend more than me so you should put more in game.

mlz1413

Some truly judgemental comments on here!!
Really guys do you have to suggest divorce when someone is asking for a bit of perspective and opinion??

OP I think you need to sit back and take stock, is this the straw that is breaking the camel back?  Or are you just being petty?

If it means that much to you to work out how much more he eats then maybe you do need to work out what YOU cost the partnership and see if it is swings and roundabouts. 

If you are coming off worse then decide if you want to have a face to face conversation about it.  I'd suggest just saying what it is that bothers you and not try and launch into possible resolutions. 
Give your man time to think, same as you have had.  Let him tell you any niggles he has about the money spent. Then decide if you can both work together.

Shoeysmum

Don't you think you're being petty?!!!

tindella

If he's so oblivious to the fact that he eats more than you yet pays the same, you need a new partner!

Lizzie8591

So your partner eats more than you and you want him to contribute more money to the food shop ? It annoys you but you chose to ask this forum their opinion rather than have a conversation with him. I hope you have an escape fund. 

bikaga

It depends on how you've set up your budgeting. 

Is all else exactly equal / sorted by who's using what? Is everyone buying their own products for hygiene, styling etc? Does he buy you presents more often than you him? Are you budgeting by "relative to income" or "absolutes"? Is it super important that everyone always pays the same (and why)? Is food getting more expensive putting you in a position where you don't have enough money to treat yourself to something or go on vacation?

I do understand where you're coming from. If you have to watch every penny, food can make a big dent, especially if it's not low-budget food and watching your spending elsewhere and with food prices increasing so much in the last years.

If it's really an issue, you do need to raise it with him though, not strangers on the internet. Without fully knowing your situation and agreements and other spending how are we supposed to know?