Money Moral Dilemma: My partner eats more than me, so should he pay more of our food shopping costs?

Reggy1971

When will people realise that these dilemmas are fake, made up nonsense!
Go to the chat forum, and help people with real questions instead of this click bait garbage!

It's a shame Martin still allows this crap, it massively damages his credibility on genuine issues and concerns people actually have to deal with.

Tigra_

The key in this situation is to outlive your spouse and take them on lots of clifftop hikes like Barry and Janine did.

Eccentrica_Gallumbits

bikaga said:

Wow, didn't expect to see so many cave trolls taking it for granted that...

• The person married to the husband is a woman

That's the crucial point, I think. I must admit, I was a bit surprised, too!

I'm inclined to wonder if the OP is the person who manages the money in their relationship, if there is primarily one of them who does that. It's maybe time for them to have a free-ranging conversation about money, without judging each other, to give the OP's husband the chance to raise any little niggles for him that the OP is unaware of. Perhaps they'll find they want to shake up the entire way they manage their finances?

On the basis of the information we've been given so far, I really wouldn't make a big deal about it. Swings and roundabouts. It stands to reason there are imbalances on each side in a two-way partnership, unless they are exact clones of each other, and certainly I wouldn't think it worthwhile raising food consumption unless the differences in what the OP and husband are eating are extremely large.

Teacher2

All of your finances should be joint if you are married so there is no ‘ mine and thine’ conflict. Our married child has a variation on this in that they and their partner have a home bills’s fund into which they pay quite a substantial amount and out of which all household bills are paid.

i had a revelation a few years ago in that my husband used to be in a top job which involved taking people out to very expensive restaurants. When he lost the job the habit remained when he went out to dinner with his family. I don’t eat much and realised he was putting £ hundreds on the bill by ordering the dearest food, adding bottles of wine to the bill and having taxis to and fro so he could drink, On my birthday he’d spend more on ‘my’ meal on his own food than on my present.  I became very resentful. 

I then said I would cook my own celebratory meal for all of us and buy the wine and worked out what that  and the taxis would cost if we had had a meal out. I asked for that money to be added to my present amount and ended up with a beautiful sapphire and diamond ring. We don’t go out to eat much any more and save hundreds of pounds a year.

At home my husband eats more and better than I do as, like the OP, he eats a lot and I eat comparatively less. I can live with that.

CapeTown

Reggy1971 said:

When will people realise that these dilemmas are fake, made up nonsense!
Go to the chat forum, and help people with real questions instead of this click bait garbage!

It's a shame Martin still allows this crap, it massively damages his credibility on genuine issues and concerns people actually have to deal with.

Unfortunately they aren't fake. I posted one several years ago, although someone on this forum had a real problem believing that. What they do though is edit them down to cause controversy 

Cambsmum

Where does it stop? Are you a partnership or house share? What if he said you take longer showers or use my cleaning products. If this is a real relationship with legs you would not be asking this question. 

Chrissy2020

Does he also purchase sanitary products each month?

John_Gray

It's amazing how many of these "Money Moral Dilemmas" seem much more like a desperate wind-up...

Alilock10

Maybe a way round it is to have a joint account for groceries and utilities (and possibly entertainment). You should contribute proportionately to your incomes - ie. the higher earner contributes more.

Msharon

My partner pays for the food bill, as firstly he’s gluten free so all food products are so much more expensive. He’s also a builder so eats a lot. I do the shopping, I’m very careful about what I buy and look for bargains. I do the cooking from scratch so he has good home cooking and I bake. So we feel for us that’s a fair compromise. I do save my shopping vouchers to pay for my alcohol as he doesn’t drink, or I pay for that.