Money Moral Dilemma: My partner eats more than me, so should he pay more of our food shopping costs?

stevefrazer1969

You sat you split bills equally but if you earn different amounts that could be the cause of the feelings of unfairness. A previous partner of mine spent £3k a year on clothes, I spend under £250. I paid half even though she earned 50% more than me.

When we discussed it she eventually agreed to split bills a a proportion of income 60:40 so I wasn't wiped out every month whilst she had lots of spare cash.

Maybe split bills according to earnings. If you earn more anyway then so long as you can afford it comfortably him eating more shouldn't matter.

Ignore the people who are suggesting counting toilet paper, it appears many here don't understand the question.

stevefrazer1969

Midlander123 said:

I empathise a little here. My husband spends £24 per week, on coffee pods, and he's the only one that drinks coffee. Plus at least £15 on alcohol per week in the shopping. Our weekly shopping is around £70 (4 kids and us). I'm super tight with money, and shop really smart... 

I'm not gonna lie, when I only drink water, or at a push, squash i do feel annoyed. I did say, his luxuries like alcohol is an him issue, he buys himself - but I let the coffee slide just to prevent resentment. 

It shouldn't cause resentment! £24/week on coffee pods isn't reasonable, he should pay for his hobby. Or do as I've suggested elsewhere - split bills as a proportion of income NOT 50:50

stevefrazer1969

matstaffs said:

If you can’t have this conversation between you then i’d just divorce.  Do you count the number of toilet sheets that are used?  

Spot the respondent who's never been in a relationship...... Or not a long one!

stevefrazer1969

JGB1955 said:

You'll need to discount the number of 'excess' showers you have, shampoo used, feminine hygiene products bought on the weekly shop, etc etc..... you get my drift.

Yes, misogyny!

stevefrazer1969

The_Unready said:

Words fail me!

Their spouse's eating habits is making them poor. It's an issue for many people, especially if they split bills 50:50 but earn different amounts.

Pollycat

Absolutely they should pay more if they consume more.

OH and I each have our own bathrooms.
He can't have a new loo roll until I've finished mine.
It can get a bit tricky if he has the trots...but there's always the Daily Star to fall back on.

When we have beans, I count them out so we each have the same. If there's an odd number, I squash it.
When we have bacon I measure each rasher so that we each have the exact same amount. It does make a mess of my tape measure, but fair's fair.
Ditto with sausage. It's a nightmare when I buy sausages from the butcher because they are never the same size. I have complained to the butcher but he says there's nothing he can do.
And don't get me started on the size of pork chops. 

Pollycat

Lizzie8591 said:

So your partner eats more than you and you want him to contribute more money to the food shop ? It annoys you but you chose to ask this forum their opinion rather than have a conversation with him. I hope you have an escape fund. 

I hope the partner has an escape fund.

Isin2000

bikaga said:

Wow, didn't expect to see so many cave trolls taking it for granted that...

• The person married to the husband is a woman

According to available statistics - c. 0.3-0.5% of all married couples are male/male, rising to around 1% for new marriages. The % of female/female marriages is approximately twice that. 

This means there is about a 99% chance the "husband" has a female partner - and regardless of the exact number overwhelmingly the most rational assumption to make -  so why not climb off your soap box and cut out the abusive cave troll reference.

Ed264

These dilemmas seem to get dafter! Yes, if he eats more then he should pay more. As simple as that.

SeanMaria

Sit down with your husband and discuss your household budget and decide together how to manage it. How much he eats is not the real issue.