Juggling mum/work life, whilst looking after my future self, both financially & healthily

debtfreewannabe321

Your director sounds like a dictator 😳 cheeky beggar thinking he can get away with making people do work above their pay grade for the same wage, by wielding fear of him/ redundancy about. Grrr.

Also echoing the above sentiment you are doing nothing wrong...kids are all different. My three were all different learners, one flew through everything and was fantastic at 'learning' in general, one was alright (like me at school) and had mild dyslexia, and one just does not care enough to even put the effort in most of the time but again is alright when he does. It sounds like May has dyslexia - I work with kids like this every day where they get their words in the wrong order, they just are a big jumble in their brains sometimes. I've got two kids who will write almost every number back to front too. No amount of correcting seems to help either. Don't be hard on yourself, you've got enough on your plate. 

missymoo81

Thanks both for your kind words re May. I will indeed ask what they have put in place. I will
also look at getting her a tutor possibly.

I’m a bit cross, my newish manager was taken off my org chart and I was straight under the director as of last week, which is why I’ve been trying to speak with him. But I’ve checked today and I have been moved back under the manager. It’s quite obv director doesn’t want to deal with me, and manager although nice, knows how hard I work and everything I am after but has no power at all to do anything about it. 

Feeling very demoralised, especially whilst I am doing someone elses job as well as my own this week! I know the company is in a bad way and everyone is going over and above but I just feel like everyone gets paid far more than me. If I threaten to leave I think it would just be seen as one less person for them to make redundant. I will look at other jobs but they are so few and far between, especially Ones flexible like mine in the sense if I’m late due to childcare no one minds and I can take whatever days I like off. 

Argh so grumpy again, OH came back at midnight last night and goes again tonight at 8. Just not seeing him at all at the moment. Things I’m grateful for. I remembered by porridge today. 

in_need_of_direction

A friend of mine who holds a senior post, keeps an eye on her staff’s linked in profiles and identifies those considering a move by the frequency with which they update.  I’d say creating/ updating a profile and actively increasing your network could be an easier way forward than threatening to resign.  Where she sees this kind of thing for someone she would like to retain, she pre empts a resignation.  

I wouldn’t do any harm.

missymoo81

Ok And manager told me nothing would change this side of Christmas, when he asked me how i was and I said ‘over worked and underpaid and it’s bordering on the ridiculous 🤦🏻‍♀️.’

I guess I just sit tight for now…. ‘Sigh’

missymoo81

debtfreewannabe321 said:

Your director sounds like a dictator 😳 cheeky beggar thinking he can get away with making people do work above their pay grade for the same wage, by wielding fear of him/ redundancy about. Grrr.

Also echoing the above sentiment you are doing nothing wrong...kids are all different. My three were all different learners, one flew through everything and was fantastic at 'learning' in general, one was alright (like me at school) and had mild dyslexia, and one just does not care enough to even put the effort in most of the time but again is alright when he does. It sounds like May has dyslexia - I work with kids like this every day where they get their words in the wrong order, they just are a big jumble in their brains sometimes. I've got two kids who will write almost every number back to front too. No amount of correcting seems to help either. Don't be hard on yourself, you've got enough on your plate. 

Thank you for this, it’s just hard isn’t it, you just want the best for your children. Being a parent is just generally difficult isn’t it. 

And thank you @in_nee@in_need_of_direction that’s interesting to know, to be honest I don’t think our HR are that switched on! 

fionaandphil

It could be that they don't want to be seen to be giving you a raise while also making others redundant. It is hard but maybe just wait and see what happens after Christmas? I do think they are taking advantage but they may have a plan and will share it with you soon. I would get everything ready, update your CV, Linked In profile etc and then if it gets very bad or they don't come up with anything you can look at alternatives.  I get a jobs update on Linked In every week and there are a lot of hybrid roles still appearing so something may crop up that you hadn't thought of.

Well done on remembering your porridge.  I keep a couple of those instant ones in my bag along with some cereal bars for when I go into work in case I'm hungry, we only have a vending machine.  My OH used to keep a tin of soup and a pot noodle in his drawer - when he came home for Covid in 2020 he brought them with him, just as well as they closed the office down and they work remotely now 

greenbee

missymoo81 said:

And thank you @in_nee@in_need_of_direction that’s interesting to know, to be honest I don’t think our HR are that switched on! 

It's not an HR thing - I check my department's LI (as do all the managers) regularly and we keep a note of any unusual activity, and categorise people as regrettable/non-regrettable losses. That way we're prepared, and can ensure we're on top of development planning etc. 

In the current climate, we can't necessarily offer people the promotions/payrises that we'd like to, but there is some natural attrition freeing up roles for people to move into. Not ideal, but that's how it goes. Not all vacancies are being filled - we're not currently reducing headcount, but we are freezing vacancies where we can. And even when times are good, promotions are only approved once a year, not on an ad-hoc basis. However, your director should have made that clear to you when they asked you to take on additional responsibilities.

While it's hard in these kind of situations, consider the additional responsibility in terms of what you're gaining in experience, which should make it easier to justify promotion/apply for a more senior role elsewhere. 

missymoo81

Thanks @fionaandphil I should really have some emergency options at work.

Thanks very much @greenbee its very nice to get the other perspective. 

So I have decided to try and be positive today. I had a bit of a reality check yesterday. It was only a few weeks  ago I was worried about keeping my job! And although very stressful and difficult, at least I still have one, which is more than 70% of people here right now. So I am just going to get my head down, try and be as kind to myself as possible and try and time block my work so I don’t get stressed. 

In other news. So far I haven’t spent any money this month. But Roo mentioned he needs some new trainers 🙄. I may look on Vinted as I can’t really afford £30 on new ones. Sent Roo to school with some t-shirts as material for his project  but it’s the wrong sort apparently 🙄. So we will pop into the city on Saturday and get some. But I will park in the free spaces and have a lovely walk up (not sure the children will think it’s lovely) and we will bring hot chocolates from home to walk with, instead of buying coffee. And I have some brownie bites that were left over from work to give them. 

Burritos were very tasty yesterday and I have got the curry out of the freezer for tonight’s dinner. Need to take the children to scouts tonight too. But I managed to not spend any money yesterday, I need to get some cash out as the children are going to meet their friends after school tomorrow and need money for dinner. Really do need to sort out bank accounts for them. I have my porridge today 😊 and the rice I’ve been eating all Week, just a little sick of it now! 

Does anyone else get bored super easily, but has no energy to do anything so just end up frustrated? I was longing for some time yesterday evening to just sit and be, as Monday and Tuesday evenings were spent writing applications and being busy with clubs for the children. But last night OH left for work and the children went to bed and I was like ‘right, what do I do now?’ I had no energy to do anything conducive but my head was busy, I couldn’t watch tv or read, I just ended up cross and frustrated. I’m not a crafty person and I need to be in the right mood to read, I have the gym but I don’t have the energy. All very frustrating! Not really sure what to do about it?!

debtfreewannabe321

Does anyone else get bored super easily, but has no energy to do anything so just end up frustrated? I was longing for some time yesterday evening to just sit and be, as Monday and Tuesday evenings were spent writing applications and being busy with clubs for the children. But last night OH left for work and the children went to bed and I was like ‘right, what do I do now?’ I had no energy to do anything conducive but my head was busy, I couldn’t watch tv or read, I just ended up cross and frustrated. I’m not a crafty person and I need to be in the right mood to read, I have the gym but I don’t have the energy. All very frustrating! Not really sure what to do about it?  

Yes! I'm not particularly crafty either I don't mind crafts but I find them more hard work than fun 😬. I've downloaded a colour by number app on my phone, and actually paid for the ad free version and I sit there and colour in like a six year old when too tired to read/ concentrate on TV or whatever. I make myself go to the gym every other day (or swimming) but I don't particularly enjoy that either 😅. I know when our brains are overloaded and overwhelmed we cannot switch off easily and relax and it sends us into ADHD mode....I think most people would have this if sent for diagnosis because this is the way the world is now, go go go. 
Other things I like to do to chill are cooking because I don't need a recipe I can just be creative with what I have and it means I'm not scrolling, or stressing or anything else. Do you enjoy cooking, gardening, a nice bath with music? We have to find ways to switch off .... otherwise we end up overloaded (I'm there right now and desperately trying to get old me back who was so chill. - I'm meditating and visualising and using cooking to do this!) x

debtfreewannabe321

Does anyone else get bored super easily, but has no energy to do anything so just end up frustrated? I was longing for some time yesterday evening to just sit and be, as Monday and Tuesday evenings were spent writing applications and being busy with clubs for the children. But last night OH left for work and the children went to bed and I was like ‘right, what do I do now?’ I had no energy to do anything conducive but my head was busy, I couldn’t watch tv or read, I just ended up cross and frustrated. I’m not a crafty person and I need to be in the right mood to read, I have the gym but I don’t have the energy. All very frustrating! Not really sure what to do about it?  

Yes! I'm not particularly crafty either I don't mind crafts but I find them more hard work than fun 😬. I've downloaded a colour by number app on my phone, and actually paid for the ad free version and I sit there and colour in like a six year old when too tired to read/ concentrate on TV or whatever. I make myself go to the gym every other day (or swimming) but I don't particularly enjoy that either 😅. I know when our brains are overloaded and overwhelmed we cannot switch off easily and relax and it sends us into ADHD mode....I think most people would have this if sent for diagnosis because this is the way the world is now, go go go. 
Other things I like to do to chill are cooking because I don't need a recipe I can just be creative with what I have and it means I'm not scrolling, or stressing or anything else. Do you enjoy cooking, gardening, a nice bath with music? We have to find ways to switch off .... otherwise we end up overloaded (I'm there right now and desperately trying to get old me back who was so chill. - I'm meditating and visualising and using cooking to do this!) x