Juggling mum/work life, whilst looking after my future self, both financially & healthily

missymoo81

Oooooooh soo just bumped into my director who happened to be with my manager! And he said’ I’m not ignoring you. I can see what you’re doing and I’ve put in for an uplift for you’  Usually it’s done in groups twice a year in Jan and June, but he’s put in for it to be done singularly. He said he doesn’t know what it will be or anything though. Which is weird but I am just grateful someone is doing something positive and I’ve been acknowledged!

peb

Just an acknowledgement helps. 

dawnybabes

Fingers crossed, but good that they’ve noticed what you’re doing. 

fionaandphil

I agree with @debtfreewannabe321 you just have to find something you like, even if it's just bath and a nice candle, painting your toenails or some mindless TV. In summer I go out and pootle about in the garden but when it's dark and miserable outside it's much harder. 

I also find that sometimes I just sit and make some notes of what I need to do when my head is too busy. Once it's written down I can forget about it and go back to it later. Sometimes it's less important and gets deleted and other times I'll think about how to tackle it differently than I first planned. 

Instead of exercising what about yoga, something gentle that fits in with your healthy side?

Glad the director had a chat with you. Fingers crossed x

jwil

Glad you had an acknowledgement from the director.  Fingers crossed!

missymoo81

Thank you so much @debtfreewannabe321 I’m reading your diary at the moment and you’re very much like me, the not sleeping and busy mind all
of the time. I think some of it is peri, I just get so cross with myself. It’s nice to have someone understanding eventhough I wish you weren’t dealing with it too. I do love cooking, but I’m trying to lose weight… I love the gym I just need to find the enthusiasm and motivation and energy.

Im going to go off on a self pitying rant now so feel free to skip! I’m trying to dig deep to try to figure out why I’m in this self loathing, self sabotage mind set. I think it’s because I am pushed to my limits at work, constantly rushing to either pick the children up from school or go to clubs now on 4 or the 5 nights a week, homework help for the children where May seems to know nothing. I’m overweight now and hate myself for it and think I’m super unattractive to OH. Money is a huge worry too, as we have zero savings. Someone mentioned more redundancies today that apparently are happening in March?! Wtaf I’m hoping it’s not our branch, there’s no one left?!! I’m hoping it’s hear say, but def another worry. OH has no work through Nov - March, I don’t know how we’re going to pay the bills. I seem to just lurch from one thing to the other in my head. I can’t relax anywhere and don’t know how. I can’t sleep and wake up exhausted. I just want to be carefree and stress free and happy. I just don’t know how to change it.

Thank you @fionaandphil I do need to write stuff down it will help and I’d love to do yoga but in my head it’s pointless as it’s not ‘hard enough.’

Thank you @peb and @jwil and @dawnybabes I’m keeping my fingers crossed too.

jwil

My mood always takes a huge dip when I'm overwhelmed with life. It's really hard to get on with things when I feel like that.  Sometimes I just force myself to do 5 minutes of something - sometimes that will be all I do, other times it will spur me on to do more.

Yoga sounds exactly what you need right now.  It may not be the high intensity that you are used to, but it has so many other benefits for your health and will help you relax.  https://theconversation.com/yoga-has-many-health-benefits-as-you-age-but-is-it-also-the-secret-to-longevity-245808 

missymoo81

Thank you @jwil it means a lot to have people on here I can chat to. Maybe I should try yoga, I really appreciate the link, I’ll have a look shortly. I’m watching sort your life out in the hope it will spur me on. I will try and do 5 mins of tidying when May gets home.l thanks for the tip. I hope you’re ok, I will pop over to your diary later and try and catch up.

fionaandphil

Its your blog so you can be as ranty as you wish!  You are feeling overwhelmed so it will feel like everything is getting you down.  Five minutes doing something different will help to get started.

I just saw this for Optimistic October and thought of you   https://actionforhappiness.org/calendar

missymoo81

Thank you! I’m touched you thought of me! I’ve printed it off. I really like it!