Money Moral Dilemma: Should I stop sending birthday cards and money to my brother's ungrateful kids?

Erica51

I think you have been sending the children cards and cash because you'd like to have a relationship with them.  However if you get no response you have no relationship.  Stop sending anything and see if they respond.  If there's no response the situation is hopeless.  You'd be better off with a cat.

Isin2000

Roseris said:

This may be a daft (or totally irrelevant) question, but are you absolutely sure the cards and presents have been received?  I have a niece and nephews living abroad and their presents from me went missing due to a miscommunication about their address. Maybe worth checking before deciding to stop sending.

Actually if that is the case it might be worth checking before you continue sending

Epsomdtc

It depends why you send cards in the first place.
If for recognition, then stop.
If for love of family then continue.
Middle ground? 
Send an invitation to an "experience" with you. 

Caren64

MSE_Kelvin said:

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

 I don't have children, but my brother has three. I send birthday cards with money in for the children every year. I very rarely get a 'thank you' from any of them and I'm lucky if I get a birthday card from my brother, while my partner of 10 years never gets one. My partner doesn't mind and always says I should be the better person when I ask why I bother. Should I keep sending my brother's children cards and money even though they don't thank me?

Unfortunately the MSE team can't answer Money Moral Dilemma questions as contributions are emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be a point of debate and discussed at face value. Remember that behind each dilemma there is a real person so, as the forum rules say, please keep it kind and keep it clean.

If you haven’t already, join the forum to reply.
Got a Money Moral Dilemma of your own? Suggest an MMD.
View past Money Moral Dilemmas.

If adults or children cannot say thank you, which is your basic manners, then forget it , If they cannot acknowlege your partner, then forget it again, they are selfish and do not deserve your kindness.  Saying thank you costs nothing, your kindness does, think ablout it

Silvertabby

We did send birthday cards and Christmas presents to our nieces until they were 18.  The nearest we got to a 'thank you' was during a telephone conversation with brother-in-law ..... he said that the girls liked their earrings (we had sent bracelets) but that we'd be better off sending money in the future so they could buy something they really liked.