Living Large, on a Small Income, by the Sea.

beanielou

That’s really not on. Some ‘friend’. 

greenbee

Not on at all. I do exchange furniture etc with a couple of friends where we always agree that the original owner will have first refusal if we decide to get rid of it, but it's done on that basis. When I moved last time they did ask me if I needed anything. But I'd never ask!

Tresinia511

Agree with inod. The friend's problem not yours.  I think you must have really liked this item to store it through all your poetically called wandering years.  But it wasn't poetic was it. It was gut wrenchingly hard. And the things you treasured did that journey with you. Stayed the course.  Sorry but if she makes you feel so guilty you have to return it then I'm afraid she'd be off my Christmas card list ( and it's coming soon)

kazwookie

Delurking

Can you put some small wooden beading along the open shelf edges, so the items cannot easily be knocked off, use 'no more nails' type product to hold the beading on.

PennysIntoPounds

'Sorry but I'm currently using it and really treasure it, thank you. Will let you know if it gets taken out of use at some point!'

And then never see her again. What a cheek. I'd even go so far as to say flagrant, and I don't bust flagrant out very often

doingitanyway

Thank you everyone. I agree with you @in_need_of_direction and I even asked at the time if she was sure and whether either of her children wanted it. It isn’t as straightforward as it sounds as she let me stay at hers before I bought this house. So she is a friend @beanielou, flawed maybe but has been a good friend so will probably remain on my Christmas card list @Tresinia511 Like you @greenbee I would never ask either. 

Haha @kazwookie the irony is she only wanted it after she saw it in my home. A tiny bit of me regrets ever inviting her, or not hiding it in the loft.

Since coming back from yoga she has messaged again and I said I would think about it, but I used phrases you lot posted, including ‘really treasure it’ thanks @PennysIntoPounds

In the end, if she really wants it back I will give it to her, but sadly that would be the end for me. 

Actually, things are falling apart in real time through messages. So, I think the friendship is over, which makes me sad, but there it is. The item goes back to her 

greenbee

Probably best to send the item back, as it will now have negative associations. Maybe make the point that one of the reasons you treasured it was because it reminded you of her and your friendship. And then focus on finding yourself a replacement item to do whatever it was you were using it for... and new friends. 

doingitanyway

greenbee said:

Probably best to send the item back, as it will now have negative associations. Maybe make the point that one of the reasons you treasured it was because it reminded you of her and your friendship. And then focus on finding yourself a replacement item to do whatever it was you were using it for... and new friends. 

Yes, I said she could have it back if it means that much to her. 

liselle

Sounds as if she didn’t check with her children, despite you asking her that very question at the time.

Sun_Addict

I can’t believe a true friend would ask for something back she gifted to you 😞 It’s her tough luck if she’s changed her mind. I would never do this to anyone let alone a friend.