Pregnant - what to do? Please help...

Peakma

Hi thanks for the update.Good luck for the future ,what ever you decide.Either way its going to be life changing.I really don't envy you having to go through this decision making.
Although I myself am not comfortable with the abortion route,I am lucky enough to never been in the position to feel the need to consider one.My three children were all planned.And I had straight forward pregnancies,with little discomfort,so I've been pretty lucky.If I had a happy accident now,I would be pretty mortified,as I don't want any more.Although if this did happen,I guess Id cope with it,and get used to the idea before the birth,and after that I'm sure it would be as cherished and loved as the others.
I did use the morning after pill twice,when I was younger,with split condoms,and partners that were never going to be "forever".I guess some people might see that the same as an abortion.I didn't though,as at that stage-the day after-it really is just a bundle of cells.Everyone has their own opinions and own set of morals on this subject,and we all only get one shot at life and we just have do do the best we can.
Seriously hope you and your partner make the right decision for your lives.

Becles

cheltenhamgirl wrote: »

We've got an appointment at a family planning clinic on Wedenesday morning to have a scan and also to meet with counsellors to discuss it all. I'm hoping we'll feel more certain once we've done that....

I think that will be the turning point that will make your mind up once and for all. Be prepared for some huge emotions and some huge maternal instincts to kick in. It'll look like a peanut, but you'll suddenly want to move heaven and earth to nurture your peanut! If that doesn't happen, I think you'll know your answer.

Take care and keep us updated xx

cheltenhamgirl

Peakma wrote: »

I started this thread over a year ago,regarding my brother and his girlfriends unplanned pregnancy.
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=255190

personally I am just not comfortable with abortions at all,but that is my personal choice,and I would try not to push that on anyone.Everyone has the right to make the best decision for themselves,their unborn child and their future.

I fully appreciate that when I posted the original post, I was opening myself up to everybody's opinions, and I would never try to stop people expressing their own opinion. Everyone on this thread has been totally supportive, and I am aware that this thread may have upset some people, although can I say that I feel that no-one has been offensive or abusive. What worries me is the link to the thread above. This thread turned into a witch-hunt, and had some very very hurtful posts, for people considering abortion and even more so, for people who have taken the difficult decision already and had one. It was the type of thread I was worried mine was going to turn into, and I am so grateful to everybody who has posted (and maybe those that haven't posted) who have kept this a balanced even discussion. I think though that I'm a little bit dissapointed though that somebody used the tactic of linking that thread to this board, knowing full well that I, and maybe others would read it. Therefore they were able to put their own view point forward, without actually saying it themselves. The terms 'murderer' and 'child abuse' were banded around in this thread, with links to all sorts of things, that I personally don't believe should be shown to somebody who is considering making the horrendous decision that I have to.

I'm really really sorry that I seem to have had a little rant there, I'm probably hormonal at the moment, and I really really don't want this to turn into a thread like the one above.

Please everyone, don't stop with all of your helpful posts. I believe that everyone has a right to their own opinion..but there are ways of saying it that won't be as offensive to other people. Can I say that Peakma who originally posted the link, has also made some very good points in her other posts to me, I don't want to start an argument with her or anybody else. I'm just a little bit concerned that other people may come on here in the same situation as me, looking for help, and I'm concerned that there is a thread out there like that one. Anyway everyone, rant over. :rolleyes:

ParadiseKidd

Hi Cheltenham Girl!

Firstly I know what your going through with the morning sickness - I am 10 weeks, and how bad is it?!? I had no idea....

On the baby front... I am not against abortion at all. It does not decrease your chances of conceiving in the future. However, in your case, I would say keep the baby. One day you want it the next day you don't.... that doubt is going to be very painful if you do go ahead with the abortion. A child doesn't end your life, especially at your young age. I am 20 and a student - life will get harder, but also more amazing in so many ways. You want kids eventually, and when is EVER the right time!! Probably never, which is why babies are always born into chaos.

Good Luck in whatever you choose to do, but remember everyone has doubts about having a baby once they are pregnant, even when they have been TTC for years, because thats natural. Once you have an abortion there is no going back so you must be 150% sure. For some women who weren't 100% sure, the abortion ruined their lives alot more than an unplanned baby ever could have done.

speranza

First, ignore grahamliza entirely. She is a known anti-abortion troll who once accused me of killing my baby...despite the fact I've never actually been pregnant...ho hum.

Second, ignore everyone else. I know you're asking for advice and I'm sure most people have useful things to say and plenty of personal experiences. But they will almost never be unbiased. No one is going to say they regret having children, so you will inevitably have a thread full of people telling you that babies are wonderful and everything will work out. That may be true, but it's not your only option. Whatever you decide, it's you that has the deal with the consequences and live your life, so I wouldn't let the opinions of others be any significant factor in that decision.

Good luck and I hope it works out for the best, whatever that is.

grahamliza4

speranza wrote: »

First, ignore grahamliza entirely. She is a known anti-abortion troll who once accused me of killing my baby...despite the fact I've never actually been pregnant...ho hum.

So you take everything I say as a personal insult - can I help it if you're a moron?

I have better things to do than report you for this direct personal attack on me, but I will however say that if you spend enough time on these forums to remember people and their posts then you are clearly a very lonely individual.

I have no wish to enter into a slanging match with you either, so please don't provoke me by writing some pathetic whiny post about how you disagree with me an just accept that our opinions differ and this is the way it is.

cheltenhamgirl

ParadiseKidd wrote: »

Hi Cheltenham Girl!

Firstly I know what your going through with the morning sickness - I am 10 weeks, and how bad is it?!? I had no idea....

It's horrible - I honestly had no idea....yesterday I managed three small pieces of bread spread throughout the day (all of which came back up) and a glass of water. Today I had half a piece of bread for breakfast, and two ginger biscuits for lunch - again, all of which I've seen again. I feel absolutely exhausted, and very faint, but even the thought of eating or drinking anything, even water makes me retch. And what's this about it being 'morning' sickness!? Mine lasts 24hours a day....! Thankyou for the rest of your post. I think that's the hardest thing, nobody else can tell you what to do. I just want somebody to solve the problem for me, but I know only I (with the help of OH) can make the decision...

nicola1982_2

As a 25 year old mum to be I would not consider you a 'young mum'. My pregnancy was planned and my attitude was that I wanted to be starting a family before my career as I felt I had all the time to build up a career but only a shorter period of time to be a mum. However, what really made me feel ready was being in a relationship with a man I wanted to father my kids. I think that predominantly that should be your big question - is it the right man? Finances, jobs and lifestyle are all adaptable and becoming a parent will make you incredibly selfless.

cheltenhamgirl

grahamliza4 wrote: »

I have no wish to enter into a slanging match with you either, so please don't provoke me by writing some pathetic whiny post about how you disagree with me an just accept that our opinions differ and this is the way it is.

Was this aimed at me?

speranza

No, it was aimed at me. Sorry cheltanhamgirl.