I bought our family home from my father, who - before he died - said he wanted my stepmother to live in the three-bed property for the rest of her days. My stepmother, who I'm friendly with but not close to, is retired and lives there rent-free (I live and work abroad or else stay with my fiancé). I pay for home insurance, boiler servicing and any repairs, and I'm responsible for maintenance and upkeep, and my stepmother is quite insistent when she wants things done. I want to honour my father's wishes, but am I being naive letting her live there when it's costing me £500 a month, and I could generate income by renting the house out?
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Money Moral Dilemma: Am I short-changing myself by letting my stepmother live in my house for free?

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It sounds like it was your father's wish that your stepmother could live in the property and in the implication is that this would be rent-free. You would be responsible for buildings insurance as the owner of the property however in many ways it feels appropriate that your stepmother should sort out the other bills an maintenance issues.9
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If he gave it to you or sold it to you below market value with the stipulation that you house your stepmother, I think you should be housing her for free if it's not causing you to be in financial difficulties.
But if you bought it at market value, (unless you have no need of the money) she should at least be covering your costs IE mortgage, insurance etc and sorting things out herself unless she is unable to.
If she is unable to, and the shortfall is causing you financial difficulties, then she needs to move somewhere that she can afford.Statement of Affairs (SOA) link: https://www.lemonfool.co.uk/financecalculators/soa.phpFor free, non-judgemental debt advice, try: Stepchange or National Debtline. Beware fee charging companies with similar names.1 -
Was her living there a legal condition of sale? If not I would guess you could boot her out whenever you wanted.
I'd be concerned about her age and general health if she's living alone. Is she able to maintain the place to a decent standard - even if you are paying for the maintenance she'll be doing the cleaning etc.
Or what happens if she decides she wants to move in a "friend" of any sort? Would that invalidate her right to stay?I’m a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on Debt Free Wannabe and Old Style Money Saving boards. If you need any help on these boards, do let me know. Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any posts you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button, or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.
"Never retract, never explain, never apologise; get things done and let them howl.” Nellie McClung1 -
It is a pity your father did not formalise the arrangement by leaving the house to you in his will, but giving your stepmother the right to live there, subject to certain conditions which should have been specified. Having said that, legally you do not seem to have any obligations towards her, but as it was a condition of the purchase, then morally you do and maybe legally if documented.
I would hope she is paying the Council Tax, utility bills, contents insurance and any day to day repairs or improvements to the decor, whilst you maintain the integrity of the building, fixtures and fittings. Could she afford to pay rent if she lived elsewhere?
What happens if you wish to return to live in the UK?
Does she have children of her own? Or friends who she might like to move in? That could become tricky.
I think in your position I would like to formalise a tenancy, even if at a reduced rent. But I am not a lawyer. Take advice before becoming a landlord.5 -
Absolutely not, in what world should anyone live rent free at someone else’s expense. I would have a gentle and sensitive conversation with her3
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What does "retired" mean? Fit, healthy and 55? Or not fit, not healthy and 95?
This sounds untenable for you. You own a house but can't live there. I'd say you need to live there and allow her to have a bedroom and use of lounge, kitchen etc. But she not have use of other bedrooms.
Perfectly reasonable for her to pay for her content stuff and you pay for building stuff.1 -
Was this a legal agreement or a verbal expression of wishes? I think she should be covering the cost of living in the property. Not rent but you should not be subsidising her to live rent an bill free,3
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It is one thing agreeing to let her live there but you certainly should not be out of pocket especially £500 a month. You bought and paid for the house not given it for free. I am sure your father will have left her financially secure and she should be covering the cost of living there. If I were you I would definitely be seeking legal advice why should you be working to support her.2
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Presumably , stepmother is paying for utilities , council tax and contents insurance since OP doesn’t mention paying these.2
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If her living there after your father's death was a condition of sale then you have no choice. However, there are three bedrooms and there is nothing to stop you charging her rent unless your father particularly specified he wanted her to live there rent free.1
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