Money Moral Dilemma: Am I short-changing myself by letting my stepmother live in my house for free?

Fairisfair

You have agreed to your stepmother living in the house for the rest of her life and you should not go back on your word. It’s your house, so you’re responsible for maintaining the building (necessary repairs, buildings insurance, etc.). However, any other expenses (utility bills, council tax, living expenses, contents insurance) are for your stepmother to pay. You promised your dad that she could live there rent free, so the simple answer is no, you should not charge her rent.

USER3507

All bills and ongoing maintenance costs should be paid by your stepmother, including council tax etc. Building insurance to protect your property should be paid by you. Replacement of large items such as the boiler would be your responsibility. However, your stepmother must have an income, so I feel that she would rather pay a reduced market rent than be forced to leave if you choose to sell or move into your property yourself. 

I agree with other comments about what if…..Perhaps you should consider discussing these challenges with her. 

Pollycat

Only the originator of the MMD can know what her Dad expected to happen regarding the house and his wife living in it.

If it were me, I'd go by my Dad's wishes.
If he wanted/expected me to charge his wife rent, I'd do that.
If he wanted/expected me to let his wife live there rent free, I'd do that.

Shell1989

If your Father said “I’m leaving you the house in my will, but I want your stepmother to live there rent free for the rest of her days, then you’re free to sell or rent” then it would be clear.

The implication is this: you bought the house. So if your father did you no favours, why did he stipulate this expectation for your stepmother? Was it because he sold it at below market value, so this was the trade off?

In any case, this should have been clarified when he was alive. Now he’s gone, making your stepmother homeless against his wishes doesn’t seem fair, although depending on her age, this arrangement might not be fair on you if it goes on for more than 5 years.

I’d say if your that bothered about the £500pm costs, you and your fiance move in with your stepmother. That way, you’re paying for where you’re also living, and your still honouring your dads wishes by allowing your stepmother to live there rent free, and if she doesn’t like that - she may choose to move out.

EmilySMC

It's a bit late now to change her conditions, so I suggest talking to her about the situation and asking if she'd be happy to contribute to the costs of maintaining the house.  I think that you should honour your father's wishes about rent, and do not consider you should be wanting to make a profit from her, but it would be fair for her to cover the maintenance costs - after all, she would not want the place to fall into disrepair or for the services to be cut off... You could suggest that it not your home and you are free to sell up, but would be happy for her to stay as long as she wants so long as it is not draining your resources.

TrishUK100

Living there doesn't mean living alone in a 3 bed house with zero expenses.
So, she could live in a shared situation and still be living there.  She could be not paying rent, but covering all other expenses except maintenance of the property which should be at your will not her demand.  Since you will wish to maintain properly to retain the value, you're not going to let it go to rack and ruin, but she is in no position to demand

Pearldrops

This is a very difficult area whether your Dad left a will or not. We had a similar set of circumstances with our Mum and her Husband (step Dad) After the death of our father he left the house to our Mum. 

She remarried and changed the will in 1999 to make me and my two sisters executors. 

After her death he went down to the bank to close the accounts and got intouch with her insurance and pension companies claiming that as her Husband , he was the only person to deal with her finances and affairs. 

It transpired that she had no money in her own bank accounts and all money in the joint account was now his. 

By changing her will it did make sure that we would benefit from our Fathers hard work. Step Dad sold his property and put that into the bank. 

The will stated that it was Mums wish to allow him to live in the house for life and that the house and contents were to be maintained to the same condition as when she left it. 

He did not maintain it . He sold or replaced the furniture and any work he did was bodged. He also had other women staying there. 

Solicitors we approached told us that we had no rights and that we were harassing a poor old man . 

Eventually we got a survey done to draw attention to the maintenance that was required to bring the property up to general standard. Step Dsd kept saying that we were asking him to pay for improvements not maintenance. He refused us entry saying it was his house. Took a year or so during covid and he did a moonlight flit. 

Place was dirty and he left items that were not Mums but hey he was out of the house and our lives. 

We did have to pay solicitors to get him to sign to say that he no longer had an interest in the property . We needed his permission to sell. 

Also we benefitted from the rise in house prices so that made up for it all and gave us the last laugh. 

Gosportmum

The post lacks detail to make a proper opinion.Do you have a mortgage, does step mum contribute anything e.g council tax, utilities? Have you ever had a conversation with her about paying 'rent'? What is her financial situation? Was the agreement with your Dad a verbal or written one?
How old is she, health? Has she got children? Who will inherit from her estate?

sheramber

but am I being naive letting her live there when it's costing me £500 a month, and I could generate income by renting the house out?

You were naive to  buy the house without establishing the conditions of your step mother continuing to live there. 

Pollycat

sheramber said:

but am I being naive letting her live there when it's costing me £500 a month, and I could generate income by renting the house out?

You were naive to  buy the house without establishing the conditions of your step mother continuing to live there. 

I guess it's possible that the originator of the MMD knows exactly what conditions were made (and this information may have been included in the original submission before being cut down by MSE) but wants people to agree that they should charge the stepmother.

I really don't see how someone could buy a house from their Father with a stepmother still living in it without knowing exactly what the conditions were.