Money Moral Dilemma: Should our four-year-old child pay for her own extracurricular activities?

powerspowers

I also don’t get all the judgment on this thread- maybe the combo of parenting decisions and money? MSE I think you could word the question to be less inflammatory.  

I give money to my nephew and niece as I feel they have enough toys/clothes/books etc. their parents are currently saving that for their future. I’ve always said I’d prefer it to go towards something big but I’d be happy if that was something like a school trip or scout jamboree. If the parents were struggling financially, I’d be absolutely happy for that money to go towards swimming lessons or a club, if the alternative is missing out.

 I suppose there’s a bit of a grey area there and I’d suggest communicating with the people who gifted the money. If you think that’d be tricky as you already know the money was gifted for the future, then there’s your answer. 

My partner has 2 children and are gifted a lot of money by family. We already save for their future and will pay for uni/driving lessons. They are a bit older so have conversations about the money but have also put it towards one off costs like a club’s trip to Disney- something they wanted to do but we weren’t prepared to completely bankroll as they have also had other big trips in the last few years. Saving for the future is great but I’d also like to see them enjoy themselves now and the gifted money helps with  that. 

badmemory

What would they do when the child realises about how their money is being spent & decided that they no longer wanted to do any of those activities & save it for when they are grown up.  Although I have to reluctantly agree that if this is the only money that is going to be available for them to enjoy something they would really like to do then with the donors agreement.

TheRedHerring

I suggest that as parents you are responsible for your child and part of that responsibility is to give her the opportunity to widen her education, not just with these activities but also about money: that it is not limitless and these costs may means other things are not possible. In this way she will hopefully make a valued judgement about which activities she could commit to as well as teaching her about money,  These activities may also require physical support which need to be appreciated by all parties. 

I hope that every time she is given money she is given the opportunity to see the interest accrue, with the proviso that when she is older, then it will be possible to purchase items/activities rather than every day treats, e.g. specialist and costly equipment for the activity if she remains committed.

CrazyBee787

When you start taking money out of the cookie jar when will it stop, this is your childs money and should be left for that child until that child undestand the value of money, and until they are of age. Please don't pillage your childs savings. If you can't afford to do all the clubs and activities for your child then don't do them. Pointless question. 

JayneFishwick

No!!! Absolutely not! Jeepers…. I can’t believe this is even a question!  Any money gifted to a child should be saved  / invested wisely by the parents to assist their future, not utilised on extracurricular activities which should be part & parcel of a child’s upbringing (IMO). 

If the money I’d given to my Goddaughter at birth was spent on ice skating / piano / Judo lessons etc. & then the passion waned, I’d be furious. 

I’d rather have taken her myself as a separate activity and had the pleasure of watching her & if she ditched thereafter so be it.  That should be a separate gift. 

Unless it’s determined at the start that the money can be used for whatever the parents feel is in the best interests, I’d be inclined to save, save, save!  Think pension… which may well be non existent in the future! 

Bluegreen143

Just ask the donor surely? My dad gives my kids money regularly but I spoke to him about it when he started. He didn’t intend it to be saved for the future (as people are suggesting on this thread) but wanted them to enjoy it now. 

I suggested as they have far too many toys was it ok to use some for days out etc and he was fine with that. 

I pay for basic activities - scouts/guides plus one other at a time.

My 9yo wants to try expensive climbing lessons and I advised I was happy to pay half if he wanted to pay the other half from the money built up in his account from pocket money etc. Better than buying a Lego set I reckon and he has plenty saved up.

Klw1970

No way! Unless told otherwise by those gifting, this money should be for your child's future, such as university or buying a house. I would never dip into my sons' money to pay for their football, scouts membership or rowing. I'm a single parent and work hard to provide my kids with extracurricular activities. Now they are almost teenagers we do talk about the cost and personal value of the experiences and if they want to try new activities then they do 'tasters' and make choices about how they want to spend their time and we will discuss the financial costs too. As someone else has suggested you could ask those who gift money if they would like to pay for an extracurricular activity rather than banking the money for the child's future. 

martinbuckley

Is this a real scenario, or is someone at MSE Towers making it up?

julie777

Sorry to be different
1. No-one presumably has specified when the money should be used.
2. The child is too young to make financial decisions.
3. Parents are therefore responsible for the funds.
4. The child may be wealthier than the parents.

SootySweep1

I've got mixed views on this one 
What's the financial position of the family ? Can they afford to sign their child up to these activities ?

If the answer is yes then of course they shouldn't use their child's birthday/christmas money. However, two or three after-school activities can very quickly mount up, especially if you also want to be able to do things as a family too.

I've given nieces / nephews cash, and when my child has attended birthday parties. I did it because I had no idea what to buy and didn't like the idea of buying toys they possibly wouldn't want or already had. Giving them cash was so that they could put it towards something they really wanted. That could include doing gymnastics or whatever after school or buying the necessary kit needed.