Money Moral Dilemma: Should our four-year-old child pay for her own extracurricular activities?

MrsMel

My nephew's son is now 8 but when he was younger we would buy him a smaller present and offer to pay for a course of swimming lessons or whatever else he was interested in. Now he usually lets us know what gift he would like but we buy him an annual membership to Chester Zoo as his grandparents, aunts and uncle are members. This means any of us can take him if mum and dad want a break.

LizzieFlorence

That sounds like an exhausting Schedule. Why not  let her choose 2 activities and use the money to pay for one  and  pay for one yourself.  After all  I assume the money in lieu of a present was for her to enjoy not sit in the bank for ever.

JustGemini

If you have children, you pay.  Dont touch gifts given to a child.  It is theirs to do with whatever they like when they understand it...

keithyno.1

Forget the gymnastics, swimming, drama and Scouts - put some of the daughter’s money saved up towards the cost of 200 Benson & Hedges, just like Denise did with Baby David’s money in The Royle Family!

Seriously though, this MMD just doesn’t ring true to start with. Can you imagine a four-year-old saying to her parents, “Mmm, I think I’d like to try gymnastics, swimming, drama…oh, and the Scouts, whilst I’m at it?!” 

I think it’s the parents who’ve ‘guided’ their child towards these activities and then from the sound of it are now balking at the cost of them, probably because they hadn’t considered the financial hit to themselves, but don’t want to let the child down because it was they themselves who’ve put these ideas in her head about doing all this stuff.

What a mess, eh? Never mind The Royle Family, this reminds me more of The Modern Parents comic strip in Viz magazine.

MarriedtoFinn

Ooh, am I the only one?...in my view, any money given to a child by relatives, should be spent on the child as the parents see fit, assuming they are normal intelligent, loving parents.  Unless the relative says it's for x,y,z, such as a fund for more adult needs in the future.  Terrible things can happen and the child may never see adulthood.  Also, this adulthood would be more enriched if the child has had a great childhood.  Parsimony can be depressing.  Not encouraging reckless splurges though.  The money may only have been given as MONEY as the relatives don't know exactly what the child needs and wants, but trust that the parents do.  It's also easy to send by post, or pop in a card.  Frankly, I'd be a bit disappointed if I sent money to a child and found they hadn't been allowed to enjoy it.  (Unless they were in a very comfortably-off family and there were no needs/desires that weren't already being met, so saving for the future would then be the best option.)
I have found myself feeling like an oddity with the strong feelings expressed saying that the money was intended for the future and not for now.  Did the OP say that the relatives stipulated that?  And actually, money could be given at any time for that, but celebrating the child's birthday should be for joy NOW! IMHO.

AVTF

No, if she didn’t have that money you would pay anyway. Better to save for the future, uni is expensive!!!!!!

HSC_2

I can't see a problem with that.  It's pocket money at the end of the day.

JosephK

If the child is working it should be paid by her out of their wages. Presumably at four years old, the child is still small enough to be sent up chimneys or under the machines at t'mill to clean them.

fluffydog14

MSE_Kelvin said:

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

Since she was born, our four-year-old has been given money by friends and family on birthdays etc. She now has a few grand saved up in a bank account we opened for her. Recently, we've signed her up to some extracurricular activities she wants to try - gymnastics, swimming, drama and Scouts. The cost mounts up, so would it be fair to charge them to her account, rather than our own?

Unfortunately the MSE team can't answer Money Moral Dilemma questions as contributions are emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be a point of debate and discussed at face value. Remember that behind each dilemma there is a real person so, as the forum rules say, please keep it kind and keep it clean.

If you haven’t already, join the forum to reply.
Got a Money Moral Dilemma of your own? Suggest an MMD.
View past Money Moral Dilemmas.

Just to let you know what we did for our Daughter in case it helps. We put all the money she received for Birthdays and Christmas into a savings account, from when she was born to around 12/13 years.  After this age she realised that any money she was gifted was hers to spend and she didn't want to save it.  So she had a pot of savings of a few thousand and we told her she could not access this until she was 16yrs old. She knew she wanted to learn to drive and we encouraged her to keep her savings until she had passed her test. When she was 17 she used the savings and was very proud to have bought her own first car.

V3cash

I personally wouldn’t spend my child’s savings as they will need driving lessons and a car and savings are very useful when that time comes.
my child was a dancer and we spent £1000’s on her over the years but the joy we got from this and the confidence she gained was invaluable.
she also just danced and danced, wherever you would go she would be tapping her way down supermarket aisles and shops, you couldn’t stop her.
we could also afford it as we only had 1 child, if I had needed to use her savings I would have cut back on activities.
The activities do give them skills and confidence but make sure it’s what they want to do as kids are actually happiest playing with parents and family, spending quality time is so important but can be free 😊