Money Moral Dilemma: Should our four-year-old child pay for her own extracurricular activities?

Danzan

For our kids, all the money they got when they were younger, we used to overpay our mortgage (knowing that we will replace this after, say for uni fees or their deposit for their house). As they got older they managed their own cash gifts to buy whatever they want. 

I would say go ahead and pay for it. In reality the activities they do will be worth more to the child than the cash when they grow up. 

As a parent you have the choice!

Exodi

Danzan said:

I would say go ahead and pay for it. In reality the activities they do will be worth more to the child than the cash when they grow up.

Oh yes, not a day goes by where I'm not reminiscing about all the activities I did as a four year old child.

Undoubtedly, these memories were infinitely more valuable to me than say, my first car, or a contribution towards a deposit on my first house.

Does anyone even remember being four years old?

I understand why you said it given your first sentence, but I'd suggest it's a pretty controversial take.

witchone

Maybe let her do her washing and cook her own tea too

Matt8888

No of course not. What next? Chipping in for petrol, food, heating, Netflix? The money was given to her presumably for the future by friends and family. It is not yours to dip into now. Next time, suggest to friends and family paying for an activity but don't take money for it retrospectively. (If you do this, and you are not existing on the breadline, you could argue that when you have not paid for an activity and have enjoyed a little luxury yourself you have used her money to pay for it - think about it).

Annie1612

No in my opinion, no you shouldn’t use your child’s money to pay for activities that ultimately you decide she will do. Paying for extra-curricular activities are a part of parenting. 

kimwp

At four, she cannot be expected to understand financial consequences, so you are making the decision to use up her money on something that may be a waste of money. 

At the very least, why don't you ask the people who gave the money if they are happy to use it for those purposes. 

But my personal view is that a four year old shouldn't be doing four structured extracurricular activities a week - one or two is plenty, then there's time to have fun, spend time with parents, let their little brains process all the new things they are learning. They are not just learning sums and writing, but lots of social skills at school - they need lots of down time as well.

john_evmk

It's sad that someone even thinks it appropriate to ask such a thing.

refinnejks

It’s not inappropriate. I don’t understand why some replies sound so angry. I don’t mind what money given to my nephews is spent on. As an adult I now know that sometimes my mum struggled to afford even £1 a week for Brownies, which I got so much from so if this child has a pot of money that can fund activities then why shouldn’t it. Parents are able to make choices for their children until they can make those choices for themselves. If the child wants to do activities and one way of facilitating that is from their savings that’s a great option. 

VintageBelle

NO! She's 4. You pay. It's not like she can get a job and start paying herself, or even understands any of it. The money in her account should be saved for her when she's older and can do something with it when she understands it better. Will you start taking the money out to use for her groceries too? Children are expensive, so other peoples gifts should not be paying for things that are your responsibilities and decisions. 

Lockettlady2013

This is a difficult one as instead of getting presents your child has been getting money which went into her bank account.  Why did you not let your child have presents with the money?  You put he money in the bank, not your child and now you want your child at four years old to pay for her own activities?  No, paying for activities for a child that age is not a child's job - you can then control the activities and it will make you think harder about which ones she may be more likely to stick at.