Money Moral Dilemma: Should our four-year-old child pay for her own extracurricular activities?

silvercar

MSE_Kelvin said:

Pollycat said:

These MMDs get more ridiculous by the week.

Thanks for your encouraging words, @Pollycat

As always, we're obviously not going to reveal the identity of the person who sent in the MMD, so all I can tell you is that we received this week's last Tuesday from a regular reader who asked us to put it to MSE users.

And as usual, all I can say is that, in the seven-odd years I've been in the MMD hotseat, we've never used one that we didn't receive from a user, someone from MSE, or someone connected to someone from MSE.

If we did make 'em up, I'd like to think we could concoct something a little more juicy 

Who decides the board that MMD are placed? It seems odd that a child’s activities are on the ‘Mum’ board, surely Dads would also be involved in spending decisions and their children’s activities?

Pollycat

MSE_Kelvin said:

Pollycat said:

These MMDs get more ridiculous by the week.

Thanks for your encouraging words, @Pollycat

As always, we're obviously not going to reveal the identity of the person who sent in the MMD, so all I can tell you is that we received this week's last Tuesday from a regular reader who asked us to put it to MSE users.

And as usual, all I can say is that, in the seven-odd years I've been in the MMD hotseat, we've never used one that we didn't receive from a user, someone from MSE, or someone connected to someone from MSE.

If we did make 'em up, I'd like to think we could concoct something a little more juicy 

My words weren't intended to be encouraging.
And I didn't say the question was made up. 

It's the question - that parents should use a 4 year old's savings, given to that child by family and friends - should be used to pay for extra curricular activities for that child that is ridiculous.

Maybe they should start to charge her rent...?

k12479

John_Gray said:

Quite obviously the four-year-old should pay for all her extracurricular activities.
Similarly, she should be charged board and lodging, transport, and any other expenditure on her behalf.

I disagree.

I think the 4-year old's savings should be used to pay for parenting lessons.

Pennypooch

Certainly not, you decided to have a child and that entails providing for them until they are able to support themselves. If you want your daughter's money to pay for her activities you should be ashamed of yourself.

Groom

Surely the answer is, if you can't afford it, she doesn't do it. There is no need for a 4 year old to be doing 4 activities a week, one at a time is plenty. If she is in school, they may run free activities. 

Southendormargate

Are you on drugs?

beanielou

Absolutly not.  Use the child benefit.  That's what its for.

primrose_penguin

Your four year old has to learn she cannot have everything she asks for, and by allowing her to do all the activities she wants to try is not the way to teach her this important lesson. You have done the right thing with the money she has been given by friends/relatives for birthdays etc. by opening a bank account for her, which will be a huge help to her in the future. If you cannot afford all the activities she is doing, then you need to explain what you can afford, if for example she loves gymnastics and enjoys going then why don't you occasionally keep back money given for a birthday to buy her an outfit or something she needs for it, I am sure those who gave the money would be happy about that, but as for using it to pay for the weekly classes I don't think so. My daughter went to brownies/guides, swimming, karate and ballet when she was a youngster, but none of it cost a lot of money or we would not have been able to afford it, as she gets older it will probably become more expensive but by then you and she will have a good idea which of these activities she is really interested in and wants to continue doing, then perhaps if you cannot afford to continue paying she can use some of her savings, the decision will then be hers. 

Lady_Gaia

If family members have been kind enough to gift money to your daughter, I would imagine it was on the understanding that the money would the put aside to help her for the big things in life - that was always the way in our family.

As a single parent, when my daughter was growing up her child benefit was used to cover her activities and associate costs. Yes it meant that she couldn't always go to the super expensive hobbies, but she understood the value of what she was getting - i.e. she couldn't attend gymnastics, karate, ballet, and judo at the same time, but could choose up to two at a time. Also when she got older, she had to make the choices around time and school work.

Honestly, sometimes knowing you cannot have or go to everything helps set up the idea of compromise later in life; she is now 25 and has a much better understanding of delayed gratification than I ever did.

EXSUDBURY

I think it is a great idea. If I was one of her donors I would be thrilled to know the gifts were spent on something beneficial for her, rather than left in an account earning interest.