Money Moral Dilemma: Should our four-year-old child pay for her own extracurricular activities?

ambioni

yes you should let her pay...but only if you're also going to charge her board & lodging too! 

Vicxie

I find this so ridiculous. If she didn't have those money gifts, would you have not signed her up for anything? You really think your 4yr old should be paying for her own activities? Really? I am honestly really shocked. Even if she is 10, it's your job as parents to pave the way for her. I bet you will expect her to start contributing financially by the time she's 12 because she's "rich" and can afford it.

addyann

yes.  A great way to explain to a child what money is.  The question to her is do you want to spend this many pennies, pounds etc on that.  Thats how we learnt to manage money.  I would say using my money to buy things for myself was the best lesson I ever had from my parents.  Or as some have said, if she hasnt learnt the concept of money yet, then you pay if you can, but explaining that if she has this she cant have that. Budgeting is about choices.  But also as an aunt I'd be happy for actvities to be paid for from money I'd given.  Better than toys/clothes she may never use or wear. 

IvonH

I can't believe you are even asking this question.  It would be stealing.  And if the gift givers found out, the gifts would dry up, doubling the negative consequences for your daughter. 
Save the money and give it to her when she moves out / goes to uni / needs a deposit for a car or a flat.  

eao

You have to ask the further questions;
For gymnastics...do you charge them for a packed lunch,
Swimming...do they buy their own swim trunks?
etc.

PickledGherkin

A close relative and I put money into an account for my seven year old son. My son wanted to take guitar lessons, so I asked him whether he was ok with me using some of his money to enable him to have the lessons. I also asked the relative who had given money whether it was ok. They agreed and had no reservations about this. 

Being a single parent, I wouldn’t have been able to afford the lessons without this contribution. My son still has savings, but he’s also doing something he loves, learning a new skill, and making friends. He already has far too many toys and this seems much more worthwhile. If he decides he doesn’t want to take lessons anymore, then that’s fine too - he can p*** the money away when he’s 18 😂

consumers_revenge

Wheres the face palm emoji?

bikaga

Yeah MSE... that sounds like something a reader drafted while p!ssed on NYE. I do believe someone would ask this, but not that someone would ask this seriously.

kesbee

Gymnastics, swimming, drama and scouts?!  Seems an unlikely set of requests for a 10 year old let alone a 4 year old who is only just getting to grips with school. Scouts is for much older kids, younger kids go to cubs, and for 4 year olds it's Squirrels - but I doubt provision at that age is available in many places. Anyway, no, pay for your childs activities yourself until they reach 16 at least! If they want to contribute some of their cash on a better spec phone / computer / driving lessons / school ski trip when they are a teenager then you can have a real discussion.

ripongrammargirl

As a qualified former nursery nurse and special needs assistant then I can tell you that 4 year olds have no concept yet of money, value, that things have to be paid for, sticking at things long term etc as at that young age it’s all “I want….” (Complete sentence with activity!). You have got to learn the word No is very powerful, but do offer an explanation why, such as mummy and daddy don’t have any spare money because we spent it on X, Y, Z. etc 
This will start to teach her a good money education and that we can’t always have what we want. 

Find her some free activities if you are struggling for cash. Libraries and  museums tend to have free or very cheap activities, especially during holidays. 

The money given will be very good for university fees, training for qualifications or a property and should not be used to pay for activities. You had the child so should be able to afford what it needs and activities they may want to try (but won’t stick at for long when so young!) 
If you pay for so many activities now just imagine when they are maybe 10 and come out with “mummy I want a pony”. The golden word is NO but then they would have had enough money in their account, and sense, to maybe spend some and realise that cash is finite: when it’s gone, it’s gone and there is no magic money tree. Put a stop to all these menial activities, sign her up to Brownies when old enough when she can learn skills and become community spirited, and use these few years to sit down with her as parents and play games- shops etc where she can learn about money, what things cost, what she wants/needs are two different things etc.  Time with you at this age is far more precious and meaningful than all these activities where she is in someone else’s charge who
are impressing their thoughts and values on to your child. Time flies so enjoy her while she is young because as a teen she will not want anything from you, so best prepare her for life now while you have her attention!!