Money Moral Dilemma: Should our four-year-old child pay for her own extracurricular activities?

squirrel59

NO, of course she shouldn't!

PDrizz

People seem dismissive of this, but I don't find it that ridiculous.

We have a monthly budget that includes savings for the kids, if they want to do a new activity then we would re-budget and reduce the amount going into savings. You never know what the future entails so why not let them enjoy the activities they want now (within reason) - it won't be long before they want to spend all their time online. My view is as long as it is benefitting them and they want to do it, it's a good use of money - and possibly more productive than an 18 year old getting full access to spend how they want.

We don't have a problem saying 'no' to children so I wouldn't apply this to toys etc. but activities give a broad experience of life. Let them enjoy childhood before getting into the daily grind of mortgage repayments.

The issue here is that the money has been gifted, with possibly different intentions from the people gifting - so checking with them is an absolute must.

OwlishAgain

Crikey! NO! She won't even remember the activities. Invest the money in a low-fee JISA for her, and pay for the activities yourselves. Incidentally, she probably shouldn't pay for rent, food, clothing etc quite yet.... 

anneevo

Absolutely not.  It's vital that children should be able to take part in as many activities that parents can afford.  If you can't afford all the extra curricular activities your child would like to do, then unfortunately they can't take part.  In that case you can help them choose which ones they can do.

PLB123

No way! The money in their bank account is for their future (first car etc.) unless the person gifting the money has said otherwise. Our daughter was given a gift voucher for 10 riding lessons once the voucher ran out we carried on paying. Extra activities are what parents can afford and for us to pay. You can always say no.....

Sapiux

Following this logic: I shall submit the following next week: 

Since my partner regularly receives affection, support, and the privilege of sharing their life with someone as amazing as me, would it be fair to start charging them for the love, care, and romantic evenings I so generously provide? After all, I’m the one putting in the effort to be irresistible. Shouldn’t that come with a subscription fee?

PJsRgreat

No. You are the parents, the 4 year old is a child.
Think about the laws of consent - they're too young to consent to you using THEIR money. Parents are the ones who decide what a child does. A child might express an interest in doing all manner of activities but they won't be able to do them all, due to their age, time constraints, commitments, development, etc. Then there's the financial element - can YOU/PARENTS afford it. If you can't then the child doesn't do it. Or select one for the child to try. There will be indicators along the way to guide you - are they keen to attend; lost interest; have friends there; etc.. 
If you're still toying with the idea of spending your child's money on activities, then speak to the people who gifted it - what did they expect it to be spent on. 
I used any money gifted to my boys in 2 ways - on something they wanted (there was always something they wanted  - toys, a trip to a theme park, etc) or it was saved for when 18. And they decided to spend it on what they wanted. For example, they are now at that stage and they have used the money to buy a car, and my eldest is using it to fund him through university. 
I think childhood is about being safe and looked after, and offering experiences so they can decide which they like and keep and which to discard. It can be expensive, but it's worthwhile when they find their thing. 
If you really can't afford it, then speak to family, God parents and ask if they can help. BUT DON'T use their money - they will resent you when they are older. I know this - it happened to two different sets of parents. 

jjay13

I really can't understand all the objections to this. Unless the relatives/friends concerned have stipulated that the money is "for her savings" or "for her future", it's entirely up to the child what she does with the money (with some guidance from parents at 4 years old).  I myself started ballet lessons at 4, which my grandmother paid for as my parents couldn't have afforded them. We give our own grandchildren money for Christmas and birthdays - sometimes they have a specific item they want to buy, sometimes it goes towards a school trip, sometimes they want to add it to savings. They always say thank you and tell us (often with photos!) what they've done with the money.  That is the real pleasure of giving.

The only caveat I would suggest is to be sure the activities are for the child's benefit and enjoyment, not the parents'.

_nate

Absolutely charge them. I think you're missing out on charging them for school uniforms, meals and rent as well. The cost of their clothing and bedding should be added, along with childcare and cleaning fees and a contribution towards the bills. If you haven't been doing this since they were born, you've been losing money in an irresponsible way and should certainly consider reorganising your finances.

Kraftybee

@John_Gray   I like your train of thought, together with the hint of sarcasm. 

If the OP is asking a genuine question, do they realise that having children and the responsibility it involves, comes as a package deal?  It's not a pick and chose option when it doesn't suit.