2025 DECLUTTERING CAMPAIGN MrsSD - The Joy of Decluttering

Florenceem

When I got to the hospital - a bit late - the therapist had back up with her - I suppose as I hadn't been compliant on the phone - putting it mildly. They had been talking to Mr F.
I was told - he can't go to the assessment place as not shown abnormal behaviour over the weekend.
Mr F can't go to rehab like he did in 2023 - not ill enough..
I suggested a respite spell in a care home to see if he improves - they are recommending discharge home so we would have to fund the 6 weeks - Mr F doesn't have £23K so should not pay for care.
Therapists said Mr F is not unfit enough to go in a care home.
Mr F could have a bed downstairs - so I would not get rested sleep as I would be anxious about him.
Mr F could be upstairs and have a commode  - not room in our bedroom - we have a 5 foot bed.. I said that would mean him being confined to bed - they said he could have a triangle of bed, chair, commode - not in our bedroom space.
I did say when the therapist said - Mr F has a right to return to his home - he only owns 5% and I could argue that was cancelled out by the £50K I spent on renovations to raise the value of the property
I said - I am older, shorter, lighter than Mr F - I have narrowing of the spaces in my vertebrae, osteoarthritis, osteoporosis, meniere's disease and on anti depressants but felt suicidal trying to cope with Mr F. Didn't make a jot of difference.
Discharge is handed over to therapists by the Doctor when the patient is declared medically well. 
Floss - Mr F has no keys with him. I don't think the ward manager is involved with discharge.
Mr F has no infection now - no delirium but a catheter and not walking at all well. 
Mr F hasn't sat on a toilet - just a commode or had a shower while he has been in hospital - 17 days.
If Mr F lived on his own - he would be sent home with a care package so me leaving to stay with my daughter wouldn't make a difference.
If Mr F is well enough to return home - why does he need a care package? Care workers never keep to the times they say - our lives would be ruled by them. 
I just felt bullied. 
They left me to chat with Mr F and are going to phone tomorrow.
I had phoned Social Services for help but they didn't get back to me.
Mr F and I agreed that he needs to be peeing properly - catheter removed - able to use a toilet and use a shower before we will consider agreeing to discharge.

retiredinfrance

Hugs, @Florenceem. I really feel for you and hope tomorrow is a better day for you and MrF x

scandimore

Really sorry to hear about what's been going on @Florenceem I really hope this gets resolved soon.

After a busy weekend, have started the decluttering. Decided to tackle the landing. Has only taken an hour after about a year of ignoring the doom pile of box folders. Threw out lots and lots of very old docs. Kept important bits and a few memories. Slightly emotional seeing the massive pile of health and SEN stuff from the extremely difficult days when little was very small and we were figuring out what was going on. It's not easy now but at least we know where we're up to! I kept the clinic letters but got rid of everything else.
One bin bag of rubbish, two bin bags of recycling, and a bin bag of shredding.
Need to get rid of empty box files and find somewhere to fit the 3 full box files we are keeping.

Feels good!

QueenJess

Just a quick check in.  Not much time after a long first day at work, but I figured doing anything is better than nothing and I cleared a few digital bits and pieces down whilst resting.

Digital:
8 - computer files deleted
2 - notes deleted
1 - apps deleted
6 - photos deleted

Physical:
1 - top I hate wearing as it’s not breathable (charity bag)

New total = 355

New use up total = 10

Brie

Keep saying No Florenceem.

They can't send him home until they know home is safe for him.  That's step 1.

Step 2.  Once they know (!!) home is safe they have to have a care package in place - i.e. how many carer's coming how many times a day.  That doesn't involve you helping as you are not able.

They can't send him home unless a bed is in place downstairs and there's 4 shifts a day with 2 carer's each to help him to the loo, etc.  If that's not organised they have to continue to house him elsewhere. End of.

Keep telling them that.

Brambling

Brie said:

They can't send him home unless a bed is in place downstairs and there's 4 shifts a day with 2 carer's each to help him to the loo, etc.  If that's not organised they have to continue to house him elsewhere. End of.
.

The circumstances were different but my cousin would get regular calls from his mother who was in her mid 90s that no carers had turned up usually to put her to bed and she was meant to get two careers four times a day.  The care company wouldn't call her or him just not turn up. There are a shortage of carers in most counties.

Beautiful cat granny 

My own decluttering has stuttered a bit, I been doing little bits here and there with no real structure or logic to it which was not the plan.  Does it count if I helped an elderly friend this afternoon and have a boot full to drop off at CS tomorrow? I also declutterred some of my sanity setting her up on an apt for her credit card and attempting her banking too! 

This is my PITA telling me it's time to go to bed as he wants my seat, five seats in my lounge and he has to sleep in mine before coming up stairs during the night! 

sqwiffy

Sounds like @Florenceem is back to square 1. Follow Brie's advice and maybe have some time out. Perhaps you need a back up person with you too.

I'm very tired after being up until after 2am (doing paperwork re my mum) yesterday then up by 8am. Then this evening I was chairing an AGM for an Art Society I'm involved with. However I was very pleased as all the committee attended and we had about 6 other members turn up despite dreadful weather. It's been rain, hailstones and thunder and lightning today! Then I came back to do the night shift at my mum's. She's asleep but spelling while dreaming, bless her. I thank god for my sisters as sharing the load makes all the difference. I couldn't cope alone. Stick to your guns Florence!

Here's a photo of my beautiful bird but a few years ago as I love this photo. He's called Aussie and has been poorly for a while but not too sure why. He stopped talking and then around the time of my mum's stroke started to wheeze so I took him to the vets, which cost more than three times what I paid for him 8 years ago! After a course of anti biotics with him still being wheezy, the vet spoke to an avian vet and she suggested it might be a mite in his airways so now on a second lot of treatment for that. He's not enjoying all that but is happy to have a little nuzzle after. Fingers crossed that he recovers.

My decluttering has been reduced by only being home about half the time but I did do some on Saturday. All bagged up for my relative to sell. But I emptied my linen closet for the boiler man and haven't got round to cleaning the floor, and then sorting and returning everything. Well maybe Wednesday, when I'm back home.......

StickyTheStickInsect

vulpix said:

I have been drafted in to look after baby V again at February half term in Oxfordshire. Is anyone around on the 19th? I could get on a train up to London or anywhere tbh. 

Because it’s half term, I’ll be drowning in small children and I wouldn’t inflict them on you, so I’ll have to give it a miss this time but definitely next time. Also I’m in Buckinghamshire, so depending on where you are in Oxfordshire, I’m probably not that far away.

sqwiffy

Aussie disappeared so here he is again.

Dizzycap

@ Brambling gorgeous PITA @ sqwiffy absolutely beautiful   Cheeky chappie - I really hope Aussie gets better soon Good night all x