Money Moral Dilemma: Should I pay Mum back after she replaced my gift to my aunt without asking me?

mimgable

No way! Why don't people want to accept the consequences of their own choices!

She chose to spend the money- that's her choice. She didn't consult to suggest that it might be inappropriate (+how did she know what it was), so the expenditure was nothing to do with you. If she wanted money for an alternative she should have suggested the alternative to you so you could say no. Or if you might say yes if able to get refund for what you bought. It's disrespectful too as you wanted your aunt to have x item which is what you bought. Even if she didn't like what you got she should have passed it on. Not for her to pass judgement on your gift. 

Say no+give your aunt the item you actually bought

patiencec

I wonder what you bought and if you had wrapped it.. I agree with the others maybe you should just give the gift she changed to your mother!

PennysIntoPounds

What thoroughly odd behaviour. 
I can only think that she bought something for herself that she can't get a refund on, and is now trying to get her money back under the guise of giving it to your aunt on your behalf.

If she's not showing signs of dementia, you could maybe ask if she's having money problems as you don't understand where this decision has come from.

Regardless, you are entirely justified in saying 'sorry but I spent the money allocated in my budget for my aunt on the gift I actually got her, so am unable to repay you. Please don't do anything like this again as frankly it feels deceitful and disrespectful'

rollingmoon

Presumably the present was wrapped as is customary, in which case how did Mum know what it was? This literally never happened.

Whoever it is in the MSE website team that makes up these ropey scenarios every week needs to pay a bit more attention to detail.

Pollycat

rollingmoon said:

Presumably the present was wrapped as is customary, in which case how did Mum know what it was? This literally never happened.

Whoever it is in the MSE website team that makes up these ropey scenarios every week needs to pay a bit more attention to detail.

You may think they are made up but there have been cases where the originator of the MMD had come back with updates/further information. 

However, MSE deliberately edit out most of the facts provided by the originator of the MMD as "They are intended to be a point of debate and discussed at face value."

twopenny

Oh goodness this reminds me again of why I don't like Christmas!

I had a family who would do this sort of thing.

I never did get what I asked for until I was grown and even then the incessent 'can't understand why you'd want that' ruined it.

So no, explain to your mother that you are hurt by what she did and you chose the gift thoughtfully and it was yours to do so - otherwise you will end up like me

Your mother needs to understand that you are a person in your own right.

ggloria007

I am dying to hear what you bought and what present your mum delivered... the devil is in the detail...

LightFlare

No you shouldn’t 

any further musings/questions are of no use as the OP will never respond or elaborate 

MoiraPark

Very bad manners to do what your mum did. I would not reimburse her. She sounds like a bully who has not accepted that you have grown up and can make your own decisions. 

Pollycat

LightFlare said:

No you shouldn’t 

any further musings/questions are of no use as the OP will never respond or elaborate 

Not true.

The OP in this MMD came back under her own username to update:
Money Moral Dilemma: I loaned my friend £1,000 and she isn't paying it back - what should I do? - Page 7 — MoneySavingExpert Forum

Very rare though.