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Money Moral Dilemma: I loaned my friend £1,000 and she isn't paying it back - what should I do?

MSE_Kelvin
MSE_Kelvin Posts: 375 MSE Staff
Seventh Anniversary 10 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
edited 10 September 2024 pm30 1:27PM in Marriage, relationships & families
This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

I've often loaned my friend money when she's been short, and she's always paid me back over a few months. This time, she borrowed £1,000 - but two weeks later, she asked if she could pay me £20 a month. I have a deteriorating medical condition, and this may be my final year - which she knows, so she must realise it'd take over four years to pay back and that I might not live to see it. I told her I was upset and felt used, and she paid me £50, but there's been no word and no more money since. My daughter thinks I should write it off for the sake of my mental health, but a friend thinks I should tell her husband, who doesn't know about the loans, to try and get it back from him. What would you do?

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Comments

  • Unfortunately you can’t shut the stable door after the horse has bolted.
  • There are no loans to friends, only gifts. If you are paid back it is a bonus. 
    I would mention it to their partner, unless you know that to do so would cause significant problems.
  • I’m sorry to hear you are so poorly. 
    Does not sound like you discussed repayment or have a pattern about what normally happens .

    you say you lent money before but I assume not as much as this. 

    I would definitely speak to the husband. You don’t know what the loan was for. So that might help you decide what sort of person she is. 

    Whilst you might not get it back it does not sound like they were completely open. 

    I lent money to a friend I did not like. She then avoided me as wanted to spend money treating herself rather than pay me back. It was only £100 but it did me a favour as she stopped contacting me. 

    Good luck 
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